Every now and then, one finds oneself waxing philosophical, whether one wants to or not. We are not overly prone to philosophy at the Privy Counsel, veering more in the direction of getting blind drunk and ranting about the shittiness of everything. However, there have been occasions when we have surprised ourselves. For instance, there was the time, quite recently, when we pondered whether a North American airport toilet could be considered the Platonic ideal of a really great bog, but then came to the conclusion that it couldn't, being heinously lacking in coat hooks. There was the time when we had a hangover so bad it qualified as a near-death experience (it was the heat), and consequently grew reflective. There was also, once upon a time, the existential toilet.
Forcing us to ponder the nature of things, Shewee Fiend Friend sent us these images, from the Remai Museum in Saskatoon:
We exhort our readers to remember that, if they are considering visiting a museum this year, the Tyrrell Museum in Alberta is - and we have this on good authority - the best part of Canada! Apparently, the dinosaurs are to die for, and you can confidently skip the rest of the country.
We have received indications that our readership is getting restless, having noticed that there haven't been any pictures of Jonny in quite a while. Bravely venturing into the scary place we call our archive, we found the following pictures, sent to us in July. On the French independence day, no less! Liberté, égalité, sororité! Hurrah!
Unfortunately, we were drunk at the time of receiving the images, and didn't have the wits to ask where they were from. Perhaps that's all for the best?
Our communication at the time was limited to this business-like exchange:
We should probably finish here. However, let us first remind you that IF YOU WANT THE CHANCE TO WIN A SIGNED PHOTOGRAPH OF JONNY, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SEND US A PICTURE OF YOUR BEST TOILET GRAFFITI BEFORE NEW YEAR'S. THIS IS NOT A JOKE, FOLKS. IT IS 100 PER CENT REAL.
Also, let's have a Festive Video. Here's one that we just know will cause both Shewee Fiend Friend and Jonny to scream very loudly and jump up and down - in sheer delight, of course. Also, considering that yesterday was the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, we find it suitable.
Forcing us to ponder the nature of things, Shewee Fiend Friend sent us these images, from the Remai Museum in Saskatoon:
 |
| Flip-flops! Remember when Monkey hoisted a pair of flip-flops to show his support for Australian inventions? |
 |
| A leg in a very fetching display cabinet. Also flip-flop. (No, we don't know what's going on, either.) |
 |
| This is where it gets exciting! A urinal! This we can relate to, and understand! (You wee into it.) |
 |
| Was en Ding ist, und was es nicht ist, sind, in der Form, identisch gleich. It is at this point that we at the Privy Counsel get confused and angry, and storm off in search of an alcoholic beverage. |
We exhort our readers to remember that, if they are considering visiting a museum this year, the Tyrrell Museum in Alberta is - and we have this on good authority - the best part of Canada! Apparently, the dinosaurs are to die for, and you can confidently skip the rest of the country.
We have received indications that our readership is getting restless, having noticed that there haven't been any pictures of Jonny in quite a while. Bravely venturing into the scary place we call our archive, we found the following pictures, sent to us in July. On the French independence day, no less! Liberté, égalité, sororité! Hurrah!
Unfortunately, we were drunk at the time of receiving the images, and didn't have the wits to ask where they were from. Perhaps that's all for the best?
 |
| Something is happening with the décor, but we're not sure what. |
 |
| We know exactly what's happening here, and we approve. |
 |
| HUNKA! |
 |
| HUNKA! AGAIN! |
 |
| These stalls don't pass muster, having flimsy doors that don't go all the way down to the floor or all the way up to the ceiling, thus failing in their primary object: TO FUCKING WELL SHIELD THE TOILET-GOER'S PRIVACY. #YouHadOneJob |
 |
| This is magic. Now there's white wine... |
 |
| ...now there's red wine. Anyway, if what a thing is and what a thing is not are identical in form, then it doesn't matter whether the bottle contains red or white wine, right? As, indeed, anyone who has ever been this pissed knows instinctively. Is philosophy, in fact, exactly like drunkenness, except without any of the fun? |
Our communication at the time was limited to this business-like exchange:
Privy Counsellor:
Wow
Did you carry that bottle of wine with you?
Yes
Privy Counsellor:
Respect
We should probably finish here. However, let us first remind you that IF YOU WANT THE CHANCE TO WIN A SIGNED PHOTOGRAPH OF JONNY, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SEND US A PICTURE OF YOUR BEST TOILET GRAFFITI BEFORE NEW YEAR'S. THIS IS NOT A JOKE, FOLKS. IT IS 100 PER CENT REAL.
Also, let's have a Festive Video. Here's one that we just know will cause both Shewee Fiend Friend and Jonny to scream very loudly and jump up and down - in sheer delight, of course. Also, considering that yesterday was the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, we find it suitable.
Festive Video: Pistol Annies, Don't Talk About Him, Tina
Related Reading
In which we ponder whether a North American airport toilet could be considered the Platonic ideal of a really great bog
All posts featuring Shewee Fiend Friend
All posts featuring Jonny
Actually, grasping our candelabra with a somewhat shaky grip and venturing down the ancient granite stairs, past the oaken door with the rusty lock, into our archive, we found a shitload of posts arranged under the label Philosophy. Perhaps we philosophise more than we are aware of. Be that as it may, here are the highlights:
The German Existential Toilet Is, Perhaps, Here
To Be or Not to Be - A Loo So Existential It Doesn't Even Exist
In Which We Introduce the Concept of the Vulture of Doom
Some Thoughts on Internet Vitriol. And a Gorgeous, Rose-Scented Toilet
A Blog Post of Astonishing Clarity
A Life-Affirming Experience
The Royal Toilet at Kronborg: "A Foul and Pestilent Congregation of Vapours"
Cuteness, Intellectual Solace, and a Correction
What Goes Around, Comes Around (trigger warning: Jonny's knees)
De Consolatio Philosophiae
Related Reading
In which we ponder whether a North American airport toilet could be considered the Platonic ideal of a really great bog
All posts featuring Shewee Fiend Friend
All posts featuring Jonny
Actually, grasping our candelabra with a somewhat shaky grip and venturing down the ancient granite stairs, past the oaken door with the rusty lock, into our archive, we found a shitload of posts arranged under the label Philosophy. Perhaps we philosophise more than we are aware of. Be that as it may, here are the highlights:
The German Existential Toilet Is, Perhaps, Here
To Be or Not to Be - A Loo So Existential It Doesn't Even Exist
In Which We Introduce the Concept of the Vulture of Doom
Some Thoughts on Internet Vitriol. And a Gorgeous, Rose-Scented Toilet
A Blog Post of Astonishing Clarity
A Life-Affirming Experience
The Royal Toilet at Kronborg: "A Foul and Pestilent Congregation of Vapours"
Cuteness, Intellectual Solace, and a Correction
What Goes Around, Comes Around (trigger warning: Jonny's knees)
De Consolatio Philosophiae
No comments:
Post a Comment