Toilet Song with Lyrical Content

While our motto here at the Privy Counsel is quite prone to be something along the lines of, "Life's a bitch and then you die", every now and then even we are surprised by a little ray of sunshine making its way to our lair through the miasma of aerosol effects and general gloom. Like when we think of another toilet song, for instance.

Watch Eminem's The Way I Am here. 

(If you find prudish American censorship hypocritical and annoying, listen to the uncensored version here.)

Eminem. Image from Eminem Slimshadyfans

Eminem - The Way I Am
I sit back with this pack of Zig Zags and this bag
Of this weed it gives me the shit needed to be
The most meanest MC on this Earth
And since birth I've been cursed with this curse to just curse
And just blurt this berserk and bizarre shit that works
And it sells and it helps in itself to relieve
All this tension dispensin' these sentences
Gettin' this stress that's been eatin' me recently off of this chest
And I rest again peacefully
But at least have the decency in you
To leave me alone, when you freaks see me out
In the streets when I'm eatin' or feedin' my daughter
To not come and speak to me.
I don't know you and no,
I don't owe you a motherfucking thing
I'm not Mr. N'Sync, I'm not what your friends think
I'm not Mr. Friendly, I can be a prick
If you tempt me my tank is on empty
No patience is in me and if you offend me
I'm liftin' you 10 feet in the air
I don't care who is there and who saw me just jaw you
Go call you a lawyer, file you a lawsuit
I'll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe
I'm tired of arguin'
I don't mean to be mean but that's all I can be is just me

[Chorus:]
And I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
'Cause I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am

Sometimes I just feel like my father, I hate to be bothered
With all of this nonsense it's constant
And, "Oh, it's his lyrical content -
- the song 'Guilty Conscience' has gotten such rotten responses"
And all of this controversy circles me
And it seems like the media immediately
Points a finger at me
So I point one back at 'em, but not the index or pinkie
Or the ring or the thumb, it's the one you put up
When you don't give a fuck, when you won't just put up
With the bullshit they pull, 'cause they full of shit too
When a dude's gettin' bullied and shoots up his school
And they blame it on Marilyn and the heroin
Where were the parents at? And look where it's at
Middle America, now it's a tragedy
Now it's so sad to see, an upper class city
Havin' this happenin'
Then attack Eminem 'cause I rap this way
But I'm glad 'cause they feed me the fuel that I need for the fire
To burn and it's burnin' and I have returned

[Chorus:]
And I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
'Cause I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am

I'm so sick and tired of bein' admired
That I wish that I would just die or get fired
And dropped from my label and stop with the fables
I'm not gonna be able to top on "My Name is... "
And pigeon-holed into some poppy sensation
That got me rotation at rock'n'roll stations
And I just do not got the patience
To deal with these cocky caucasians who think
I'm some wigger who just tries to be black 'cause I talk
With an accent, and grab on my balls, so they always keep askin'
The same fuckin' questions
What school did I go to, what hood I grew up in
The why, the who what when, the where, and the how
Till I'm grabbin' my hair and I'm tearin' it out
'Cause they drivin' me crazy 
I can't take it, I'm racin', I'm pacin', I stand and I sit
And I'm thankful for every fan that I get
But I can't take a shit in the bathroom
Without someone standin' by it
No I won't sign your autograph
You can call me an asshole I'm glad

[Chorus:]
'Cause I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
'Cause I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am 

http://www.eminem.com/