Monday, 4 June 2018

Always Stay Humble and Kind, and Also Answer Your Phone

You know the feeling when you'd really like to play the ukulele for a bit; not only because you are about to perform in public and some practice would benefit everyone involved, not least the audience having to endure the performance, but because that is your heart's desire; however the Fates are not smiling (and why should they? They have enough to deal with - rude people on trains, incorrect grammar on food packaging, the inevitable apocalypse that will annihilate hot baths, dentistry and espresso - without going about smiling at strangers) and you are hindered in your endeavour by the fact that the weather is literally sweltering and necessitates a dramatic, privacy-killing, and potentially highly neighbour-irritating flinging open of doors? What better way to profit by your enforced inaction than by writing a blog post, to delight and edify your readers!

Here, at any rate, is photographic evidence - delightful and edifying or not - of us leaving off worrying about the causal link between the zombie apocalypse and poor potato harvests for a few hours while enjoying the craft beers at Beer Ditch, in Malmö!

A toilet after our own heart! We are reasonably confident that Shewee Fiend Friend barked with happiness at the evidence of craft beer-brewing happening around the world visible here.
A hygienic mixer tap.

Our intrepid correspondent, showing off a highly beloved t-shirt and trying very hard to live up to its message. If you like the look of it, you can order it at the sheshirtshop.
 
A friendly sign telling one where to find more paper towels, should these ones run out. We do love clear signage!
Our only complaint about this toilet was the hopelessly feeble coat-hook. Look at it. We're not even sure it's a coat-hook. It might just be a random hook left from where a painting used to hang but, quite conceivably considering the minuscule size of the hook, fell off.

Now for an update from New York! Shewee Fiend Friend, feeling intellectual, ventured forth to a museum. She sent us the following commentary:
The museum was modern art
Mostly rock sculpture

I liked the coat hook

It certainly looks robust and functional
This, too, looks functional and hygienic. We appreciate that there is a sturdy rail that one could clutch, should one be feeling frail for any reason.

We don't often get sentimental here at the Privy Counsel. Except we do, actually, much more often than we would admit to in public, or anywhere else for that matter, including the most privy recesses of the Privy Counsel and its environs.

A song that we've been listening to a lot lately is the one featured below in today's Festive Video, that we reckon contains good advice to young people. It so easily happens, when one is young, that one caves in to what Caitlin Moran calls "the anxiety of other, ultimately less satisfying things like ‘being cool’, ‘being more successful than everyone else’ and ‘being very thin’". Even people who are not quite so young any more and may in fact be medievalists in their mid-to-late thirties, may profit from its message; we've been reflecting lately on the need to remain humble and kind even when things are changing, or confusing, or you're super annoyed and would like nothing better than to walk off in a huff and sodding well let everyone else drink the champagne - which you have, by the way, out of the kindness of your heart, carried for four hours - BY THEIR SODDING SELVES. (Everyone was doing their best to ensure a restful moment of champagne consumption, they just weren't communicating efficiently. Could we add a subclause to the refrain? "Always be humble and kind AND REMEMBER TO COMMUNICATE YOUR THOUGHTS AND INTENTIONS BECAUSE PEOPLE CAN'T READ YOUR MIND AND ALSO ANSWER YOUR PHONE", perhaps?)



Festive Video: Lori McKenna, Humble & Kind


Related Reading
All posts featuring pubs
All posts featuring Malmö
All posts with an explicit mention of signage
All posts featuring Shewee Fiend Friend
All posts featuring toilets in museums
Another toilet that has a sturdy rail 
Because we know it's what you want: all posts featuring Jonny

Sunday, 27 May 2018

The Girl Bartenders Hate

There are certain situations in this life where you and your travelling partner end up looking at each other in horror and saying "our mothers must never find out about this" then shaking your heads vigorously only to wince violently, because you had forgotten that you were in no fit state to shake, nod or move your head in any direction.

We experienced one of the above-mentioned situations recently, on our sojourn to Canada. In our last post we predicted that it "is a story that is definitely not safe for work and is, perhaps, best not told at all. We suspect it will seep out gradually over the years, in moments of inebriation. You may as well lock any children in a dark cupboard and duct tape the cat's ears together now, saving you time later".

We stand by these words and will defend them come hell, high water or large amounts of really delicious rosé. However, we have reached the point where we have recovered enough to show you some cheerful pictures from just before our metaphorical train derailed and crashed into a large rock surrounded by bears, broken bottles, and horror clowns.

One thing that never leaves us, no matter how many weird pink shots we have unwisely accepted from strangers, is our constant gender analysis. We simply never stop scanning our surroundings and analysing the amount of sexism visible. (Before you ask: yes, this is obviously exhausting. But once you've seen the ever-present misogyny, you can't un-see it. Read more about what it is like in this article by the arse-kicking Emer O'Toole.) For example, though we had an amazing time in the bar of the Westwinds Motor Hotel in the wonderfully named town of Biggar, Saskatchewan, and enjoyed our conversations with the locals immensely, we couldn't help but notice the rampant injustice in the niceness of the men's toilets compared to the women's.
The urinal in the men's toilet in the motel bar in Biggar, Saskatchewan
Nice sinks, nice soap, recycled hand towels, hygienic aluminium surfaces.
We take no responsibility for anything that happened after this photo was taken.
Your Privy Counsellor bravely venturing into the gents' to record the state of the facilities.
In contrast: The ladies'. Old formica, tatty beige tiles. On the plus side: a new-looking paper towel dispenser.
Ruin and despair!
THIS IS NOT ON!
At least the coat hook was good.

Let us quickly have a picture of Jonny to cheer ourselves up.
Jonny wrote to us, some time ago:

I’ve got about 90 pictures of toilets to send you.
Including one from the spa Kiera Knightly was at

Rugged, on so many levels! Woof!

We replied, quite reasonably, with the single word "HUBBA!" Jonny, being a self-deprecating kind of gentleman, responded with "I assume that’s at the mixer taps?", to which we replied, in turn,
WHAT MIXER TAPS?
THERE'S MIXER TAPS? #DidntEvenNotice

Before we move on to today's Festive Video, we would just like to say one thing, and that thing is

WE'RE REALLY SORRY ABOUT THE VOMIT IN THE PARKING LOT.

Cheers.



Festive Video: Miranda Lambert, Ugly Lights


Related Reading

All posts featuring Canada
All posts featuring Shewee Fiend Friend (she being the travelling companion mentioned above)
All posts featuring everyone's favourite rugged gentleman, Jonny
Our previous post mentioning our Canadian Adventure

Sunday, 22 April 2018

L'Art pour l'Art - In Which We Completely Fail to Justify Our Raison d'Être (Again)

Well, tally-ho, darlings, it's been a while, what, what? We have, regrettably, been feeling rather feeble this winter and have spent an inordinate of time on the old chaise-longue, clutching our head and yelling for the butler to bring tea and painkillers. (Turns out we have wasted many hours thus unprofitably engaged - apparently we don't actually have a butler.) 

However, spring has arrived, bringing with it daylight, fetching ducklings decorating our streams and rivers, and temperatures conducive to human survival. In short, we feel life returning to our weary limbs! Consequently, the urge to write a toilet blog post has gripped us with increasing urgency, finally overpowering us completely. Huzzah?

Let us lose no time in ogling pictures of toilets. The following exciting images are from a café called The Underground, in Saskatoon, Canada. We were weirdly asked, when wishing to partake of a refreshing beverage at this charming eatery, to decide on a tip before we had got our order, which we found confusing, but of course we want to support workers on minimum wage. It's not their fault the system is fucked! Also, we found the staff friendly, the walls filled with thought-provoking and sometimes amusing art, and the toilets excellent!
 
This, friends, is a place where one can feast one's eyes on some art while enjoying a super hygienic toilet. Huzzah!

We found that, as a rule, coat hooks in Canada were of a very high quality. These ones were no exception!
 
Some more art.
Even the outside of the toilets was thought-provoking! One door is labelled as a not-toilet. A non-toilet. Not a toilet. One can't help but wonder - if it is not a toilet, what is it?
 
This air freshener tried, and failed, to smell like cinnamon. What is it with air fresheners that try, and fail, to smell like cinnamon? Why go to all that trouble? As Kacey Musgraves says, "I'd rather lose for what I am than win for what I ain't". This one goes to a lot of trouble pretending to be what it ain't. If we were to offer it advice, it would be to chill the fuck down. Stop trying so hard. Maybe try a simple apple scent? Almost anyone can pull off synthetic apple.

A final view of this hauntingly beautiful toilet.

"What were you doing in Canada, you old rogue?" you are no doubt wondering, winking in a suggestive manner and perhaps making rude hand gestures. The short answer to your query is "We were visiting Shewee Fiend Friend". The long answer is a story that is definitely not safe for work and is, perhaps, best not told at all. We suspect it will seep out gradually over the years, in moments of inebriation. You may as well lock any children in a dark cupboard and duct tape the cat's ears together now, saving you time later.

We feel like we have energy left for a couple of pictures from Japan, land of fabled toilets! A friend of Our Mum's went there recently, and kindly provided these pictures of Japanese toilet engineering.

We do, always, encourage clear signage...

...especially when it is this amusing!

Finally, before we retire to rest our weary head on the afore-mentioned chaise-longue and binge-watch Gossip Girl, let us have a read of this little collection of bons mots - a guide to etiquette that we wrote a long time ago, but for unknown reason have never published. It seemed very amusing when we revisited it in the back of an Über with Shewee Fiend Friend (perhaps next time we should discuss the exploitative and abusive business practices of Über? Just a suggestion), but maybe it's not actually that funny when one isn't morally corrupt and physically broken after a possibly-rather-too-exciting road trip? You tell us.

“Oh, behave!”

The Privy Counsel’s Guide to Etiquette.

Board-game parties
Don’t go. If you must, burn the house down.

Communal brunches with flatmates
If you are forced to go, despite escape manoeuvres, don’t talk to anyone. If you don’t engage with the crazy, they can’t get to you.

Accidentally getting shitfaced on Sainsbury’s brandy
If you accidentally get shitfaced on Sainsbury’s brandy at a dinner party, with the result that you end up locking yourself into the bathroom and hurling the toilet seat into the shower then passing out, your host and hostess have to pick the lock and put you to bed on the sofa, and you wake up the next day and proceed to throw up yellow bile: leave. You have already put your hosts through enough bother and embarrassment. Don’t stick around, throwing up yellow bile. Get out immediately.

If you continue to throw up yellow bile on the train
Not a hell of a lot you can do about it, except try to be discreet. If possible, throw up into the bin. If this manoeuvre fails, look apologetic or, if you can possibly manage it, pregnant.

Facebook birthdays
If you wonder whether to wish a friend, with whom you no longer have anything in common, a happy birthday on Facebook, and the uncertainty as to the advisability of the action causes you actual nervous strain: hold off. Most problems solve themselves if you leave them long enough. (Massive, massive exception: application deadlines.) Soon enough your friend will post an update about his or her dinner, and you will then immediately be morally justified in never speaking to them again.

Communal brunches with flatmates, part II
If there is talk of buying ingredients, and even this simple undertaking causes frictions and bruised egos, run for the hills. Or even better, get sloshed on whisky while slagging off your bitching flatmates to someone else.

Communal board-game evenings with flatmates
Seriously, what is it with board-games? Cough loudly in their faces, and tell them you have pneumonic plague.

Work
Ideally, do this in bursts of barely controlled panic; the stress caused by poor time-management will add zest to your dull, mundane life. Whenever possible, combine with alcohol.

A flatmate has an unreasonable obsession with the toaster
Tricky. Trawl the internet for exorcists. Or – a well-documented method, this – put chilli powder in her underwear.

Having babies
Foisting life on someone without asking first is the height of rudeness. Life is mostly pain, suffering, and that odd smell in the closet – who in their right mind would expose a tiny, defenceless creature to that? Avoid.

Your supervisor “improves” the language in your essay by introducing errors
Curse her with a heinous disease and ignore the changes. Remain polite.

A friend fails to see the rationale of your Richard Armitage obsession
Cease to acknowledge their existence.

You’re not sure how best to undermine your toaster-obsessed flatmate’s confidence
Look at her pityingly whenever you bump into each other in the kitchen. Respond doubtfully, but politely, to everything she says, as if she were a dangerous lunatic.

A friend is insufferably patronising when proofreading your essay
Suck it up, princess. You asked for it.

An awkward situation arises because there’s a bunch of you in the kitchen and you refuse to engage in the conversation while your toaster-obsessed flatmate is present
Well done.

The person in front of you in the supermarket aisle is walking unendurably slowly, right in the middle, making it impossible for you to pass either on the right or the left
Stare furiously at the back of their head, walking as close to them as you can possibly manage. They will soon start to feel very awkward indeed, and disappear down a side aisle to escape the lunatic breathing - literally - down their neck.

Some trollop cuts in line at the library due to an ambivalent set-up with two librarians but only one acknowledged queue
Give her the kind of stare that freezes fire then, when she blushes and acknowledges your position at the front of the queue, yield your place with icy politeness. She will burn with shame. Burn.

A friend talks about kitchen curtains
Life is too short. Avoid for all eternity and don’t return their calls.

A friend sets fire to the kitchen curtains
Here’s an interesting character, worth cultivating. Bring whisky and an economy pack of tissues.

An acquaintance is being all Austrian, hectoring everyone with their opinions and refusing to acknowledge anyone else’s view
Delete from social media. Start wearing sunglasses when going out, even in wet weather and at night. If you slip even once she will recognise you, and stop for a – we believe we’ve got the term right – “chat”.

A friend starts talking about intimate aspects of their wife’s pregnancy
Smile politely. Blink. Change the subject. You wish them well, but there are limits.

A 19th-century academic writes offensive things about women
Speak ill of him at every opportunity. Shake your fist at his headstone and think triumphant thoughts about death, the great equaliser.

A friend is being an absolute gem, taking time out of his busy schedule to proofread your essay extremely carefully and making comment after helpful comment.
Abuse him to his face, calling him every name you can think of, and keep harping on about what a patronising prick he is.


Last but not least, let there be a Festive Video! This one describes our current state of mind with admirable aptitude. We wouldn't say it's been lonely - one is never lonely when one lives in a digital world spanning several time zones where there is always a member of the Privy Counsel awake and prepared to discuss headbands, the Protestant work ethic, or Channing Tatum's divorce - but it certainly has been a long, long, cold winter. Possibly Our Mum will even like it (though Shewee Fiend Friend will, assuredly, dislike it with a vengeance).


Festive Video: Ashley Monroe - Mayflowers

Related Reading
Another toilet with air freshener that tried, and failed, to smell like cinnamon
All posts featuring Canada
All posts featuring Shewee Fiend Friend
All posts featuring Our Mum
All posts featuring Japan 

Also, festive mini reviews we posted on Facebok while in Canada can be viewed here:









Sunday, 7 January 2018

Our Heart's Desire: For Nazis to Fuck Off, and for There to Be More Signed Pictures of Jonny

It is with unbridled joy that we prepare to present to you the winner of our New Year's competition! As all regular readers are aware, the competition was instigated by Jonny, and the prize is a signed photograph of that winsome young whippersnapper! All you had to do to enter was send in a photo of toilet graffiti.

The rules of the competition, announced in early November, were very simple:

1) Send pictures of toilet graffiti
2) Win a signed picture of Jonny
3) Live happily forever after, having gained your heart's desire

It is our rampant, unbridled pleasure to announce the winner of the Toilet Graffiti competition to be:

Drumroll...

LITHUANIAN FRIEND!

Lithuanian friend writes:

I had a spontaneous vacation in Gran Canaria and also remembered you, trying to find any good toilet graffiti. However, seems that there could be a campaign encouraging women to do more of that. I found only one in central station in Las Palmas. We should all remember that :)

THE WINNING CONTRIBUTION!
Transcription of the toilet graffiti:
"Don't forget I am learning to live." Quite philosophical, no?

Apparently, toilet graffiti is not as rampant as it once was. We remember seeing plenty of it in our youth, but for whatever reason, we rarely come across any these days. Whether this is because our social milieu has changed, from one fairly frequently incorporating dirty South London basements, to one radically more sedate (and clean), or because the advent of the digital revolution means that nobody carries pens with which to scrawl rude messages on toilet walls (as is the theory of our remarkably perceptive aunt) any more, remains to be determined (again, what are the social historians out there doing?).

Be that as it may, we hereby offer our wildest congratulations to Lithuanian Friend, who will be getting a signed copy of the below photograph in the post, and can thereafter get on with living happily ever after, having gained her heart's desire!


This is where we pass out from excitement, but not before uttering a strangled shout of HUBBA HUBBA!

We must not forget to view pictures from various toilets. Let us start with those at Heathrow Airport, shall we?

Traditionally, the first impressions to greet one on arriving at any British airport is the smell of air freshener and the sight of ancient wall-to-wall carpet that has been mended using duct tape. The newly spruced-up Heathrow Airport no longer sports carpets. The smell, however, is the same - indeed worse, if one travels round Christmas: a particularly revolting would-be cinnamon scent is sprayed with terrifying vigour in the toilets, while horrendously earnest Christmas music is channelled throughout the entire amenities. Ameliorating circumstances include the fact that the handwashing facilities are clean and feature a particularly soothing combination of hand sanitiser and hand lotion. Also, the taps are nice.

Wherein lies the difficulty of making toilet doors that go all the way down to the floor and all the way up to the ceiling? Wherein? Huh?

Look how many bags we managed to fit onto this admirably sturdy coat hook! Nothing had to be placed on the floor, and there was much joy.


We may have wandered into the disabled cubicle, which is why there is so much room. Also, a hygienically covered toilet roll holder, and a festive sign saying "Toilet duct access door"! Hurrah!


On the off-chance that you have the energy to view more pictures of toilets, have some from the Westfield shopping centre in Shepherd's Bush:

A TRULY EXEMPLARY DOOR! Note how there is a sturdy lock, no fewer than two sturdy coat hooks, and a helpful bar for those who have issues with mobility. And also, THE DOOR GOES ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE FLOOR AND ALL THE WAY UP TO THE CEILING!

The bin is overflowing, but to be fair, there was a cleaner arriving just as we were leaving. Also, the toilet roll is hygienically covered. Hurrah!
Let us by all means take a moment here to appreciate cleaners, who are often underpaid and undervalued. Perhaps ask yourself what would happen if the person who cleans the toilets at your office or local shopping centre went on strike? Well, quite.

We are going to end this blog post on a serious note. The Heathrow Airport toilets may have constituted a near-insurmountable olfactory challenge (why make air freshener that tries - and fails - to smell like something nice? Why?), but we still believe that travel is essential in order to promote international friendships, spread understanding, and combat hate. (And also, crucially, to be able to drink with friends in different time zones.)

Nazis marched in our town yesterday.

Nazis. Marched. In. Our. Town.

We spent all of last year ranting about how "2017 is the year when a shitstorm of racism, sexism, and every kind of -ism you can think of, including nazism, will be unleashed upon the world", and making our thoughts on Nazis very, very clear.

Friends. The fight continues.

We will continue to believe in human rights, and to disagree with people spreading racist propaganda. We will continue to fight for women's rights. We will continue to do what we can, in our tiny, obscure corner of the internet, to promote understanding and combat hate by maintaining this bog blog, made possible thanks to an international community of intellectuals.

To that end, we have chosen today's Festive Video with the view of not pissing off Shewee Fiend Friend, who really, really despises our taste in music. Also, isn't it funny how anti-fascist punk rock from the height of the Cold War era is relevant again? Just saying.



Festive Video: Asta Kask, Oss hjältar emellan
(View the lyrics, if you so desire, here.)

Ach fuck it, let's have one last picture. Here's what we hope 2018 will contain: mixer taps, festive haircuts, and electric sockets. Happy new year!

Happy new year from your Privy Counsellor, steering you enthusiastically, though perhaps not always coherently, through a murky universe since 2010!
(All garments featured are naturally from charity shops. Hurrah for the environment, and not supporting chain-store-enabling slave labour! (Ok, we really will fuck off now.))

Related Reading

All posts featuring graffiti

Funnily enough, we felt the need for '80s Swedish punk rock at this time last year, too:
Rampant Murderous Nazis Are Taking Over the World, But Here Is a Picture of Jonny In a Toilet, for Your Convenience and Comfort

Our thoughts on Nazis:
À la Recherche du Temps Perdu

Another post featuring ranting about Nazis, and a fancy shopping centre:  
"God Jul" from Gothenburg!

All posts featuring Jonny

All posts featuring Lithuanian Friend

Sunday, 31 December 2017

New Year's Eve 2017: "A Truly Awful Toilet"

Last New Year's Eve, we were incandescent with rage. This year, we are still angry, but are too exhausted to work up any proper fury, preferring instead to recline on our chaise-longue with a drink or four in our hand, feebly waving our hunting crop in the air and muttering "Tally-ho" into the darkness. 

We still think, however, that people should complain less and do more. If, for instance, you are one of those people who think that "feminism has gone too far", then we think you should stop scratching your arse, hoist up your flannel trousers and give a helping hand to someone who needs one. Feminists believe that toxic masculinity hurts us all, and that gender equality benefits everyone. You don't have to agree but, if you don't, rather than attacking feminists, your time would be far less uselessly spent helping someone you believe is marginalised. If you believe that white men are the most oppressed social group, then knock yourself out helping them. Just don't go bitching and moaning about feminism. Also, fuck off.

Which leads us to our next point. We have been of the opinion, for a long time, that PEOPLE SHOULD FUCK OFF MORE. We stand by this.

We'd better move on to today's toilet pictures before our grumpiness goes supernova and someone ends up injured.

Jonny, that handsome young scallywag, says:
Christmas treat
A truly awful toilet
2/10
ARGH NO THE BLURRINESS WE CANNOT DISCERN JONNY'S CHISELLED FEATURES

The stains on the floor aren't even the worst thing about this toilet.

The picture quality is execrable, but the sign says "Out of order". Philosophical!

Jonny managed to find that elusive thing: toilet graffiti!
"Communism will win."
"Yeah, right!"
Personally we are not in favour of any ideology that is responsible for the deaths of millions of people, and are rather prone to agreeing with the "Yeah right" retort.

Unable to understand why this toilet, which is, to all appearances, tremendously shit, was awarded two whole points, we posed the question to Jonny, who replied:
Oh, lol
It had a nice mirror
And a coat hook

We move swiftly from the wet, slippery floor of whatever pub Jonny spent Christmas Eve in, and hurry towards the rarefied air of Kulturen, a museum in Lund, Sweden. We located these toilets on the first floor, and found them immensely encouraging.


Mixer tap, nice soap, paper towels (recycled), bin - SCHWING!

All present and correct: the toilet roll is hygienically covered

HUNKA HUNKA COAT HOOK! Also, the door is sturdy and goes all the way down to the floor and all the way up to the ceiling. (That odd noise was a huge sigh of contentment erupting from our chest cavity.)

Let us review some of the highlights from 2017, shall we? The year started off with the Women's March in January. There was a fuckload of resistance:

Rampant Murderous Nazis Are Taking Over the World, But Here Is a Picture of Jonny In a Toilet, for Your Convenience and Comfort

 

 

In March we concluded that rampant murderous Nazis were STILL in charge, and exhorted everyone to stop being a dick:

No Man (Or Woman) Is an Island 

 


 In April, we went to York. The title rather says it all:

Castles in the Air: Dreaming of Better Plumbing, or, Bitches Love Pemberleys, or, Bottling Up of Incomprehension and Rage

 


Luckily, pictures of Jonny appeared regularly throughout the year, for instance in June:

Feeling Single, Seeing 1.5: In Which Things Are Insanely Bleak, But Luckily There Are Pictures of Jonny

 


We ranted, of course, about Brexit, and the NHS, which made everyone very tired. Thankfully, there were pictures of Shewee Fiend Friend loading a cannon:

Nothing Is Certain But Death, Taxes, and Knees

 


We really did go on and on and on about politics. Luckily, there was also cake, and runes:

If You Are a Medievalist in Your Mid- to Late Thirties, and/or Want to Save the World, This Is for You

 


In July, we went to York - again! - and a feud between Jonny and Shewee Fiend Friend, based on pictures of cannon, almost developed:

In Which the Privy Counsel Goes Ballistic

 


In August, we indulged in nostalgia, stating that,
We would hate to be the age we were during the nineties again, and are supremely grateful for our current level of comparative maturity and relative wisdom, but some nineties phenomena, like the widely held stance that Hitler was insane and that a murderous government propagating a gibberish racist doctrine was about as welcome as herpes, are prone to make us feel ever so slightly maudlin after the third gin and tonic.
 Ah.

À la Recherche du Temps Perdu

 


In September, we enjoyed some exciting toilet pictures from Lithuanian Friend, and lamented the lack of public toilets for women:

Piss-Poor Performance

 


And also reiterated the need for female-only spaces in a deeply sexist world which is extremely dangerous to women:

"Let Them Eat Cake" - Could It Be Any More Obvious That a Man Designed These Toilets?

 


Several people claimed to enjoy our Halloween special in October, which says more about them than about us:

Halloween Special: The Mystery of the Sticky Spot on the Floor, or, The Telltale Splash, or, Scared Shitless!

 


We succumbed to philosophy in November:

What a Thing Is and What It Is Not Are Identical In Form. Or So We've Been Told.

 


Argh, we find ourselves overwhelmed by retrospection. Let us finish rather hurriedly with some wise words we wrote in 2016:

Remember that ultimately, everything you do is futile. The universe is a vast and terrifying void, containing one tiny speck of dust to which we are clinging, and ultimately destroying. We are, essentially, short-sighted monkeys with computers. Now relax, and stop giving a fuck. Have a drink, maybe.

On that note, let's have a Festive Video. As everyone knows, both women and men experience a perceived female dominance when women contribute 30-40 % of any conversation or discussion. Hence, women tend to be silenced before they've even taken up half the speaking space. Let's hear some women, shall we?



Festive video: Song Suffragettes, cover of Keith Urban's Female

Happy new year!

Related Reading

All posts featuring New Year's Eve
Last year's New Year's Eve rant: 2016 in Summary: Holding on to Hope, or, We're Really Cunting Angry, or, Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
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