Cannon Fodder

As Obsessive Emmerdale Friend so perceptively said, the other day, "You're doing too much again, aren't you?" Things have indeed been moving at a rock'n'roll kind of pace at the Counsel, and pretty much everywhere else too, as far as we can tell. Everyone's busy as a[n] [insert animal of choice], and feeling the need to have a whisky and a lie-down.

It's lucky, then, that Bogsley Hansson Friend has been on a photographic journey, and has sent us a shitload of beautiful pictures with which to delight and edify us all! This means that we don't have to write more words than necessary, but can get on with rocking and rolling. And also reeling.

Bogsley Hansson Friend writes:

Some pics from a recent trip to the Oregon coast. Fancy bathroom art. This is in Cannon Beach which is just down the coast from where they shot The Goonies.

We don't actually intend to say a hell of a lot else. A picture says more than a thousand words, they say. Enjoy the silence!

(Don't miss our more than usually festive festive video at the bottom, however.)

Bogsley Hansson Friend visited this charming place, where he ordered
"fish and chips. With garlic bread which I think is an Oregon coast thing.
Supposed to dip it in the chowder I guess".
We were treated to a picture of this meal, and absolutely scrumptious it looked, too!
Arrrrrr!

We're huffin' and puffin' with delight!

We're fucked if we know what this is.
Some species of observatory?
Either way, it's got paper towels
in it, of which we approve,
and a bin, of which we also approve.

This is festive, what?

Boglsey Hansson Friend is nothing
if not considerate - it's a massive
bag of wine!

"What the hell is that, then?"
one thinks to oneself.

WOOF!

Now then, now then. When did we last do a feminist anthem? We can't remember, so let's have one sharpish.

Festive video - Lesley Gore, You don't own me

Lesley Gore kicked a massive amount of arse in her lifetime. She once told Ms. Magazine that,

As a child I wanted to sing at Carnegie Hall, so I practiced singing behind the closed bedroom door, in front of the full-length mirror, with a hairbrush as my microphone. Behind that closed door, I slicked my hair back in a fairly credible Elvis imitation. I’m sure many of us did. But when I finally walked out onstage — in the spring of 1963, I was 16 — I went dressed like a nice little girl and performed as I was expected to.

Ave atque vale, Lesley.

Related Reading
All posts from Bogsley Hansson Friend
Another seaside toilet: By the Sea - A Toilet Blogger's Holiday
Another photographic journey: Norwegian Wood

Pictorial Eloquence

Tally-ho! We've been busy as [insert industrious animal of choice], here at the Privy Counsel, running hither and thither, and probably other directions as well, and generally racking our brains, taxing our intellect, and engaging in a fury of cerebral activity. Our frantic industry has rendered us unable to tend to our bog blog with the attentiveness to which it is accustomed, and as a result, the pile of toilet pictures in our archive has grown to an alarming size. We suspect there are a couple of dwarves and a pheasant trapped in there - we can hear them muttering at night, and scratching the walls - but the sheer volume of pictures means we can't get in far enough to help them. A radical reorganisation seems indicated, and will definitely be executed as soon as we can spare the time. Any decade now, in fact.

In the meantime, here are some pictures that kind people have sent us recently, and which haven't even made it into the archive, having instead lain in a large unorganised pile on our desk, therefore being easy to find. Tally-ho, yoik, and all that.

Bogsley Hansson Friend sent us this festive greeting from Canada. A goose indicates to ladies that this is where they should head when nature calls, while a stag (below) performs the same office for gentlemen.

We could wax loquacious on the subject of gender stereotyping, but actually we're still really busy.

Tudor Friend calls these toilet-seat covers "classy and toilet-related".
We are unable to resist the temptation to consider them also "Elvis-related".

According to Semi-Intellectual Friend, this is an Iron Age toilet in Gurness.

A dear friend who we like to refer to, for reasons lost in the mists of time, as Uncle Sean,
sent us this picture, with the most eloquent caption:

"There I stood, poised at the urinal, zipper, hand, posture as you would expect,
with no further intention than relief, but there before me this artwork, this quote, edification."

We fucking love toilet poetry. If you find Uncle Sean's musings inspiring, you may want to check out
Danish Friend's bog poetry, or even Intellectual Friend's toilet graffiti.

Another thought-provoking contribution from Bogsley Hansson Friend, this time from Seattle.

Since we try to end all our  blog posts with a festive video, here is a most convivial clip of a highly festive Twitter acquaintance of ours, the Loo Tour Lady.

Festive video: The Loo Tour lady

Related Reading
If one gets too overworked, one can end up believing that one is a tiny, speckled hamster:
Safety at Work
If you enjoy the combination of archives and art: 
Blurry, Lop-Sided Archive Musings
Danish Friend's bog poetry:
Christmas 2013: Shetland Shithouses Part II. Umm, Poetry in Motion?

Intellectual Friend's bog graffiti:
The Intellectual Streak Continues: Leeds University Library Bogs, or, Yorkshire Graffitti

Norwegian Wood

So some saint or other died some time ago, and significant amounts of people take this as a cue to spend money on vulgar gifts in a bid to celebrate "romance". We don't understand the logic at all, but then, as many of our regular readers are aware, we're not hugely into romance at the Counsel, finding things like mixer-taps and cholera way more exciting. Nonetheless, other people demonstrably manage to derive romance out of things other than plumbing. Danish Friend and Intellectual Friend, for instance! Those paragons of romance sent us pictures from their honeymoon, which must surely satisfy even the most hardened romantic?

(You remember when Danish Friend and Intellectual Friend got married, right?)

Intellectual Friend writes, intelligently as ever:

Opp på fjella, high up on the top of Hognåsen mountain, in western Norway deep into the Sognefjord, as one emerges from the woods weary after long, winding wanderings and steep scramblings, one is greeted by a blissful, colourful, almost untrodden, silent, peaceful paradise... and in the middle stands an overgrown shieling or two (a.k.a. seter), and even more in the middle (though there's quite a number of middles up there), crowning the whole mountain landscape, there stands the best-ever-situated bog a.k.a. outhouse a.k.a. jenny a.k.a. outdoor/earth privy! In other words, a WOODEN TOILET ON A NORWEGIAN MOUNTAIN HALFWAY UP TO HEAVEN!

The sight of it is breath-taking, so cute and fairy-tale-y it is. Also behold how it slants and leans on the gentle, Pisa-Tower-like, or more appropriately Ymir-tooth-like, or troll-tooth-like. Its inside is also breath-taking, somewhat literally, due to the stench, of a quality indicating fairly recent use but not necessary by humans (olfactive evidence would suggest trolls, were it not for the structure's small size).

But then, when one emerges from it back again to the light and magic and wildflowery fragrance, and takes in again the view that the toilet commands in every direction on grass and sky and tree and flower and fjord and fjell, and glaciers on the rim of the world, one is so breath-taken that one just gasps and mingles with the silence, and just frantically takes pictures of it all, being glad to have borrowed Danish Friend's awesome camera, before in the end resuming one's (also wondrous and fairy-tale-y) honeymoonish activities.

Well, it certainly doesn't need all that blabber. But it was an eye-opener then. And now apparently a gob-opener.

While we question Intellectual Friend's use of the word "cute" with a severity not tempered by a long and fond friendship, we nonetheless thank Danish Friend and Intellectual Friend a thousand times for generously taking time out of their honeymoon to photograph toilets for us! And we agree that the camera is stupendous - in fact, we're inclined to think that Danish Friend should be the Privy Counsel's official photographer!

Hell, let's finish with a semi-related festive video!
Not the Nine O'Clock News,"The Swedish Chemist's Shop":



Related reading
Alpine Escapism
HTFU: Wipe for Wildlife
SISTERS STANDING UP FOR THEMSELVES
Orkney Outhouses
Shetland Shithouses
Hwæt! For Better Or for Worse, Whether There Is a Toilet-Roll Holder Or Not, Etc.

I Never Promised You a Rose Garden, But Here's a Picture of a Lovely Soap

Also, also, also
Intellectual Friend justifies his use of the vulgar and indefensible word "cute": Cuteness, Intellectual Solace, and a Correction

Rampantly Entertaining Pictures

Our favourite word right now, all categories, is rampant. It's a rampantly useful word, which can be used in many rampantly entertaining and informative contexts. This is why we're so delighted that our friends have been sending us such rampantly amusing pictures of late! To celebrate the fact that we have been rampantly intellectual as well as generally kicking arse recently, here's a selection of positively RAMPANT pictures!!

The first picture is from a very attractive friend of ours who is characterised by her extraordinary bravery. (More info here.) We have been assured that the water temperature in this tap is "pleasant". People, you have our blessing to rush forth to this Cheltenham bar!

"How do you feel about this tap?" Bar 50, Cheltenham.

Our next candidate is an illustration of a void, sent to us by a certain very dear French person, who we may likewise have mentioned on previous occasions. (We also had a rampantly kick-arse time at her wedding!)

"My friend had her tap changed by a plumber... She is now missing the tap.
Thought you'd like it."

Next up is a contribution from our main literature pimp, Bogsley Hansson Friend.

"What did you just do? One drop or two? From Ada's technical books in Seattle."

We have also this beautiful vintage ad from a friend who has a laudable habit of hosting very fun parties (with, intriguingly, ever-increasing floor space to pass out on), which have contributed to many a Privy Counsel hangover!

Vintage ad for Gustavsberg tap. From the Lund University archives.
MIXER TAP OF COURSE!

Tudor Friend sent us this image of a bathroom so sumptuous it boggles one's mind almost beyond repair!

America's best bathroom is in Minneapolis, apparently!

Finally. Last, but not least. The pièce de résistance. La crème de la crème. Etc. Ladies and gentlemen, behold this priceless picture from Australian Friend!

"Piccadilly Circus, 6 pm."

That's all for now! We've got some thrilling posts planned, though, so stay tuned!

Related Reading
A Lovely Cavalcade of Photos
A Festive Update
Another Favourite: Our Favourite Ever Handwashing Videos

A Lovely Cavalcade of Photos

Ho-hum. Here we were, trying primarily to a) relax and CTFD, but getting increasingly anxious and resorting to b) getting some sodding work done, when we were, predictably, side-tracked by people sending us lovely photos. (We're not complaining!)
So, since it is, after all, Saturday night, let's get a little bit festive! Behold, a lovely cavalcade of photos!

German Friend offered this glimpse of things to come:
"A little preamble to the still missing existentialist toilet...
That theme seems to be all the rage in Deutschland!"
We caper with joy at the thought of the forthcoming existentialist toilet,
and are simultaneously reminded of the large amount of
Uzbek material still lurking in the Privy Counsel archives!
Readers are advised to hold on to their hats, as there
is severe fabulousness coming!
(For a similar amusing image, see A Festive Update.)
Image from StreetArtGermany.

This lovely bamboo bath comes from Tudor Friend, and rather reminds
us of another spiffing tub that came our way once!
Image from Guadua Bamboo.

This beaut was sent to us by Czech Mate, and introduced to us with the words,
"Behold, the from-within-illuminated wash basin from a Leeds buffet place"!
Are you feeling the warm and friendly karma emanating
from  the motion-sensor mixer tap? We are! Woof!

Finally, lest we get above ourselves: a simple but functional
bog from the Guild 45 Cinema in Seattle.
Loving the rough cement floor  and Tork bog-roll holder!
Image by Bogsley Hansson Friend.

Having enjoyed the crap out of this festive cavalcade, it is now time to sigh wistfully and get on with some rather high-falutin' and morally rigid Anglo-Saxon poetry. Wæs hæl!

Related Reading:
A Festive Update
Rock'n'Roll

A Festive Update

We don't know about you, but we intend to have ourselves one hell of a weekend! In order to share the hilarity we thought we'd do a festive update, which we're writing in advance, as we'll be far too busy having fun to write blog updates!

Image from Profilebrand

We've mentioned Chopper Read and his memorable mantra, Harden The Fuck Up, in the odd post before. We find it inspiring. Now, we are pleased to announce that we have managed to make a not-too tenuous celebrity toilet connection to Chopper Read! Here's a concentrated version of the Chopper Read Wikipedia entry:

"When he was still young, Read was already an accomplished street fighter and the leader of the Surrey Road gang. He began his criminal career by robbing drug dealers, based in massage parlours in the Prahran area. He later graduated to kidnapping and torturing members of the criminal underworld, often using a blowtorch or bolt cutters to remove the toes of his victims as an incentive for them to produce enough money so that Read would leave them alive.
[...] Around this time, Read had a fellow inmate cut both of his (Read's) ears off in order to be able to leave H division temporarily.
[...] Read was ambushed and stabbed by members of his own gang in a sneak attack, when they felt his plan to cripple every other inmate in the entire division and win the gang war in one fell swoop was going too far.
[...] It is alleged that Gangitano burst open the toilet cubicle door with a number of associates and began a serious assault on Read who made his escape but not before spreading his faeces into Gangitano's face."

HTFU!

For your continued delight and edification, here's a cavalcade of amusing toilet signs, which we've collected during our repeated trawls of the arse ends of the internet:

Image from Flickr

Image from 3bp

Image from Toptoilets

Image from Xaxor

Images from Raincoaster

Image from Shadygaff

Enjoy your weekend! Don't forget to HTFU!

Related reading:
A Lovely Cavalcade of Photos
Polite Notice
http://www.chopperread.com/