Rampant Murderous Nazis Are Taking Over the World, But Here Is a Picture of Jonny In a Toilet, for Your Convenience and Comfort

What to do, when the world is being taken over by rampant, murderous Nazis? Well, here are some things we've been doing lately:


* Reading Little Women (a feminist manifesto, if an annoyingly pious one, and containing distressing sentiments about women's natural knack for cleaning)

* Watching Jeeves and Wooster (Jeeves's competence is so reassuring)

* Marching (a toilet picture from the Women's March on Copenhagen follows below)

* Internet-stalking interesting people (the less said about our activities in this area the better)

* Admiring pictures of Justin Trudeau (woof!)

* Ranting (we find ourselves feeling thirsty a lot, which is either due to us developing diabetes, or because of all the ranting, or possibly because of panting induced by pictures of Justin Trudeau)

* Donating money to organisations supporting democracy and human rights

* Cheering on all our friends who do amazing things every day


Here is a picture from a toilet in a pub somewhere in Copenhagen, where we and our fellow marchers enjoyed a large amount of wine and an even larger amount of ranting after the march:

A sticker on this ad reads, "Sexism is still a problem - Don't ignore it, fight it". We couldn't agree more.

We are also quite pleased with the signs we made for the march, and were even more pleased when, the second we arrived at the site outside the US Embassy, kind Danish people offered to staple sticks to our signs so we could hold them up more effectively.

We were proud of our signs, which we thought were intellectual yet poignant. Our Mum, meanwhile, was very amused by pictures of signs she saw on the internet saying "Ikea has better cabinets", and "We shall overcomb".

Now to the main business of the day. We received a message from everyone's favourite biker boy, Jonny! It read:

Do you want a present?

We replied:

Wtf yes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pismg8l57Rs

Jonny continued:

Ok

A look into an executive office gent's toilet.
You even have the option to save the environment or dry your hands faster on dead trees.
I think my fans will appreciate the selfie too.

Oooh, that is a very tall erection, isn't it?

What a very shiny bin! Nothing but the best for the executive businessmen.

This looks very clean and comfortable. And the walls of the stall go all the way down to the floor!

WOOF!

 Many, many thanks to Jonny for this refreshing view into the world of executive gents' toilets! Now for a reassuring Festive Video, before we go back to frantically checking Twitter, and crying. What one needs, in times of murderous Nazi mayhem, is unapologetic '80s punk rock!

Festive Video - Asta Kask, Johnny Boy


 
Related Reading
The lonely hearts ad we wrote for Jonny back in 2013 
If you think you can handle it: A picture of Jonny on a cannon!
All posts featuring Jonny

International Musings

Well, today is a sad day. Today, we found out the result of the Brexit referendum. Still. An upper lip as stiff as one's whisky, what?

The Privy Counsel is an international community of intellectuals (with emphasis, sometimes, on "international" rather than "intellectuals"). Our contributors and friends come from all sorts of countries, and all sorts of backgrounds. If it were not for the EU, the Privy Counsel would not exist.

And international we shall remain. And also inclusive, open-minded, and determined to fight hate with the weapons available to us - our humour, our intellects, and our hearts.

Here's how we actually feel. Or, as Laurie Penny put it, "All I can think of is: I will love fiercer, I will work harder, I will write faster, I will not give in to fear".

We have some delightful inclusive and international toilets to admire today, courtesy of Audiologist Friend, who writes:

Tror inte jag besökt en mindre toalett än denna! Lite utedass-känsla när en inte får spola ner pappret (servetter?!) i toan. Danmarks hippaste grød-matställe. Det heter Grød!

(Don't think I have visited a smaller toilet than this one! Kind of an outdoor-privy kind of feeling, when one can't flush the toilet paper (napkins?!) down the toilet. Denmark's hippest grød eatery. It's called Grød!)

A polite sign, representing the courtesy we strive towards encouraging at the Privy Counsel.

A seriously shit tap, highly reminiscent of the kind of typical British tap that makes all right-thinking people gnash their teeth in frustration and nourish fervent hopes that British people would a) travel more widely in countries that have functioning plumbing - perhaps even work or study in one, thanks to the EU's facilitation of work migration, and b) adopt functioning plumbing in their own country.

Another polite - and urgent - sign. This reminds us of toilets in countries like India, or Greece.
where one often can't flush toilet paper.

A sad receptable of refuse, shoved into a corner - a metaphor for Britain's political future?

We have heard of establishments serving porridge taking over London's gentrified areas, and are of course delighted that they now fortify and sustain the hard-working hipsters of Copenhagen, too.

Staying with today's focus on internationalism, here is a message from Semi-Intellectual Friend:

How have you not got a hand on this article?

That is of course a very good question, and one that we are woefully ill-equipped to answer. We are pleased, however, to note that the toilet in Þórsmörk, Iceland, mentioned in the article, is one that Audiologist Friend has kindly sent us pictures from in the past.

Let's finish off with an international greeting from German Friend, who kindly sent us a useful yet decorative (one of our favourite combinations!) calendar featuring toilets from around the world last Christmas:

"A clean bathroom speaks well of its user."

People seem to have been posting rather a lot of Sex Pistols videos on social media today, leading us to select one for today's Festive Video, primarily due to the words "There is no future, and England's dreaming". Still, let's remember those other words as well.

We're off now, to drink ourselves into a stupor for the rest of the afternoon. Happy midsummer's eve!

Festive Video - The Sex Pistols, God Save the Queen


Related Reading
Audiologist Friend's report from Þórsmörk: Þórsmörk, Iceland: Some Light Relief
All posts featuring Audiologist Friend
All posts featuring Semi-Intellectual Friend
All posts featuring German Friend

Kicking the Ass of Ignorance

The popularity of Jane Eyre is spreading faster than the clap in a Renaissance coastal town. A friend of ours (who shall remain mercifully anonymous) turned out to have never read this respected work of literature, "because she doesn't like Jane Austen".
You see, readers, what truly hellish depths of ignorance we do battle with here at the Privy Counsel? Nevertheless, it seems said friend was inspired by our Toilet Tale version of Jane Eyre - indeed, how could she not be? - and went to the book shop to rectify the grave deficiencies of her education. We received the picture below yesterday, reassuring us that ignorance and illiteracy are soon to be hurled back into the sulphurous darkness from which they came. Begone!

Mmmm, Bailey's!

In another instance of heartwarming human decency, two strangers offered to help a friend of ours with her fucked suitcase the other day. She had made an 8-hour train journey with a broken and very much overflowing suitcase and was not enjoying the sensation of having her private possessions leaking into the ether. We were on our way to the station to assist with duct tape and spare bags, when the two would-be Samaritans offered our friend their services. Hurrah for kind strangers!

Let's do a rough about-turn, and move on to Audiologist Friend's fantastic photos from Denmark! This audiogram obsessive wrote (as usual, an English translation follows for the linguistically challenged, but do take the opportunity of enjoying this fine example of early-21st centuy colloquial Swedish) as follows:

Var ju i Danmark igår och såg till att skaffa bevis till dig.

Nån bar som låg nära Istedgade, vi ville vila lite från Distorsionfestivalen och satt där och drack happy hour-drinkar! Extra festligt var det ju när dambadrummet levererade :) frågade Paul om det fanns liknande målningar på herrtoan men icke!

(So I was in Denmark yesterday, and made sure I got you proof.  

Some bar near Istedgade, we wanted to get a rest from the Distortion festival, so we sat there drinking happy hour drinks! It was extra festive when it turned out the ladies' room delivered! :) Asked Paul if there were similar paintings in the gents' loo but alas!)

What a bunch of cunts!
Strike us pink with a selection of recycled hand towels if this isn't the most laudable toilet illustration we have ever seen!

A somewhat primitive but clean-looking sink, with soap, paper towels and a mirror. Huzzah!

Plenty of bog roll!!!

It is student graduation day round our way today. This is possibly the most festive day of the year! As if to prove the point, a lorryful of teenagers playing The Final Countdown on full blast, and tooting little horns, just went past Privy Counsel HQ. We are seized by an urge to go out and join the festivities! But first, a Festive Video.

The most festive day of the year!
Image from sverigesradio.se.

When one is beleaguered by a heatwave of Biblical proportions which for some reason started weeks ago and is showing no sign of abating, and which is (presumably, though we can't remember the last time we actually spoke to a farmer) doing great damage to potatoes and other useful crops, one prepares to kick ass wearing shades.

Festive Video - Fry and Laurie, There Ain't the One Way (Kickin' Ass)

(If the video above is looking a bit funny, here is a link.)

Related Reading
All posts featuring Audiologist Friend
A post about a heatwave in Copenhagen
Our subsequent retraction of the term "Everyone's Favourite Toilet Country" in relation to Denmark
Our classic Toilet Tale version of Jane Eyre

Caitlin Moran Really Does Make Everything Better

It seems to us that we've spent a lot of time and energy bitching and moaning recently. We consider bitching and moaning an essential part of being human and will not apologise for it, though perhaps one day we will do some kind of linguistic analysis to determine if our propensity to bitch and moan increases during October and November (we suspect very much that it does).

However, good things do occasionally happen. (No, really. They do.) And when good things happen - listen carefully now, because we are about to impart an important piece of wisdom - it is important to celebrate! (As someone said, if you don't celebrate too soon, when will you ever get to celebrate? [This joke works better in Scandiwegian.])

For instance, we recently went to Copenhagen with two of our favourite Privy Counsel Friends* TO HEAR CAITLIN MORAN TALK ABOUT THE DANISH TRANSLATION OF HER BOOK HOW TO BUILD A GIRL. AND THEN WE DRANK SOME BEER, TO CELEBRATE.

Regular readers may think to themselves that we do little else at the Privy Counsel than go hear Caitlin Moran talk about Danish translations of books**. However, that would be an exaggeration. We have done many things recently, including, but not limited to:

- drinking too much beer
- setting out to have "just one drink" (hair of the dog), and actually having just one drink (hair of the dog)
- eating garlicky food
- teaching
- plotting the destruction of the patriarchy
- buying a new toner for the printer

But yes, we have also been to the Bella Center (to the amusingly named BogForum, in fact) in Copenhagen to hear Caitlin Moran, look at Caitlin Moran, and be made happy by being in the vicinity of Caitlin Moran!*** We have argued many times (for instance here, and here) that looking at pictures of Caitlin Moran can brighten a dark moment. The only thing better than looking at pictures of Caitlin Moran, obviously, is hearing Caitlin Moran speak.

Here's how happy some of the Privy Counsel Friends were to meet Caitlin Moran!
(There was a group hug. A GROUP HUG.)

This was the first toilet we acquainted ourselves with on our CatMo Oddyssey: in a portakabin outsdide the conference centre. This was a unisex toilet, and while we approve of the egalitarian efforts that have resulted in a spate of mixed-sex toilets in recent years, can we just say HOW MUCH WE HATE UNISEX TOILETS? Nobody wants to elbow their way through a sea of bearded hipsters to get to the sink. We cannot stress this enough.

The toilet inside the conference centre: clean and pleasant!
And entirely free of bearded hipsters!

The coat-hook was highly satisfactory.

The best feature of this toilet, however, was the bin!

Look! Cannily acknowledging that women do not have three hands, the designer of this bin has made it foot-operable! This simple move makes it approximately 180 % easier to not smear blood on everything in one's vicinity.
 HOW AMAZING IS THIS?????
Can we have more women designers, please?

Having listened to Caitlin Moran talk about How to build a girl on two different stages (yes! We got to hear her twice! Hurrah for Denmark!), we moved on to get some food and Danish beer at Copenhagen Street Food. We have stated, in our manifesto against unisex toilets, our objection towards bearded hipsters. If you belong to the puzzlingly large portion of the population that LIKES bearded hipsters, then Copenhagen Street Food is the place for you! Indulge your sickest fantasies of being surrounded by bearded hipsters while eating hipster food and drinking hipster beer! Go for it! Do not, under any circumstances, restrain yourself! Hipster-fy yourself!

We can only conclude that hipsters like corrugated iron.

We'll leave it to the many cunning linguists among our readers to translate this.

Everyone likes graffiti! Especially, apparently, Danish hipsters.

*ok, that's actually a contradiction in terms - naturally ALL our Privy Counsel Friends are our favourite Friends. Though let us not forget that Bogsley Hansson Friend sent us Elvis stamps a little while ago, and is therefore slightly more of a favourite Friend than all our other favourite Friends, at the moment. (We accept presents of all shapes and sizes.)

**Last time we went to hear Caitlin Moran talk about the Danish translation of a book of hers was in September two years ago, and the ensuing blog post was called Caitlin Moran: Our Favourite Non-Toilet-Related Person!.

***Did that sound really creepy? Sorry.

We ought to have a festive video! Because we all need reminding that good things really do happen sometimes (Caitlin Moran might come to a conference centre near you!), and because Caitlin Moran notoriously likes Bruce Springsteen rather a lot, let's have some Bruce.

Festive video - Bruce Springsteen, Waitin' on a Sunny Day

Related Reading
Why we hate unisex toilets: Unisex Toilets -This Shit Gets Political
All posts featuring unisex toilets
All posts featuring Caitlin Moran

On Violence Against Women

This blog post is not about toilets. Today's topic is violence against women.

Life. It's one vile fucking task after another. One vile task we've had to spend time on recently is reporting sexual harassment at Copenhagen Airport.

A member of the Privy Counsel recently found herself thinking, "Oh. I was just sexually harassed. Again.", when having her arse grabbed by a male member of the security staff at Copenhagen Airport. And no, she was not asked if she preferred being searched by a female member of staff. She wasn't even told she was going to be searched.

Copenhagen Airport is supposed to be one of the safest, most pleasant airports in the world (we certainly appreciate the stylish wooden floors and clean, noise-insulating toilets with quality mixer taps), but apparently it is rife with sexism and power abuse of the nastiest kind. After journalist and university lecturer Anne Lea Landsted wrote a leader article in Politiken in August about how fed up she was with being sexually assaulted at Copenhagen Airport, over 50 more women came forward to say that they, too, had been assaulted and harassed. (Read a summary of this sorry saga in English here.)

Apparently baulking at the sheer volume of complaints, Copenhagen Airport, acting on legal advice, asked the police to communicate with the women concerned. There are no news reports about the outcome of this process as yet, though we are not holding our hopes up at the Privy Counsel; an Australian woman who reported being subjected to sexual assault at the airport in May this year was apparently told that the CCTV footage of the incident had been deleted.

Image from fairfaxunderground.

In an incredibly facetious move, Copenhagen Airport then argued that new scanners would solve the problem, as these would remove the need for body searches. Because technology, as we all know, can instantly remove all traces of institutional violence, as long as you close your eyes and cross your fingers hard enough.
What Copenhagen Airport management apparently did not do was conduct an investigation into which staff members were guilty of criminal acts, and fire them, preferring instead to turn a blind eye and let staff continue committing acts of sexual violence.
The Privy Counsel member who was sexually assaulted at Copenhagen Airport passed through the security control in September, when the problem was supposed to have been magicked away by the new scanners. Evidently, ignoring the problem did not make it go away.

Having your arse grabbed is not unusual. Women and girls experience sexual harassment and assault all the time. We repeat: All. The. Time. And, sometimes, men do, too.
The problem is, sexism is not a series of unrelated incidents. It is a system of abuse and discrimination that targets women and girls and is intended to intimidate and silence them. It is part of a culture where men feel they have the right to interrupt women, assume they know better than women, and take liberties with women's bodies. (And don't give us the "not all men" crap, because it is myopic and unproductive.)

This same culture tolerates violence against women on a scale that would be shocking if it concerned any other group of people. In Britain, two women die from domestic violence every week. Imagine the outrage if a corresponding number of lawyers were killed every week by violence directed specifically against them, or postmen, or office workers.

Image from naterecording.

In Australia, domestic violence is the leading cause of death and injury in women under 45, with more than one woman murdered by her current or former partner every week. A woman dies every three weeks from domestic violence in Sweden, and sexism and violence against women are notoriously rife in Denmark, despite, interestingly, a zero-tolerance policy towards violence against women.

We are mistaken if we view history as a linear series of events, where "progress" leads to things getting "better". This is 2015. Prejudice, sexism, and gendered violence are rampant.

Does it surprise us that Copenhagen Airport displays such a cavalier attitude to its staff harassing and abusing women? No. Does it anger us? What do you think?

Do you think men would continue to harass, catcall and abuse women if their actions had resulted in negative consequences? Of course not. But because violence is normalised, harassment trivialised, and contemptuous attitudes to women are prevalent everywhere - in history books, in media, in movies, in our own damn families - nothing ever changes. Boys grow up believing they can treat girls any way they want - because they are never told they can't. Men believe they can harass women, and violate their bodies - because they are never told they can't. Even in countries where all forms of violence against women and girls are illegal, men aren't penalised, even when found guilty.
Well, we would find it refreshing if someone, somewhere, would tell men that they can't subject women to violence and get off scot-free.

Image from thedailybeast.

All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. Copenhagen Airport - do you have the balls to harden the fuck up and do something?

We thought the message was clear, but apparently some skulls are so thick it's not getting through. The message is very simple:

YOU CAN'T JUST GRAB ME. THAT'S A SEX CRIME.

Video - The Law Revue Girls, Blurred Lines [Feminist Parody] "Defined Lines"


Related Reading

Our friend Lucy Bonner's virtual reality simulation lets you experience what it's like to be street-harassed:
'It's Not a Compliment': VR Lets You Feel What It's Like to Be Street-Harassed

Advice on how not to be a sexist swine from our friend Stig (who is Danish, male, and a staunch defender of women's rights - apparently this is not an impossible combination):

My advice for men in general 

If you see a beautiful woman on the street and feel the urge to express it. Keep it to yourself! 

If you see a beautiful woman in the street and you are with a friend and you feel an urge to express your feelings, well don't, keep it to yourself. 

If you are working on a construction site and a beautiful woman walks by and you feel a strong urge to catcall her, see a doctor! 

If you see an unknown woman with the most well-shaped behind and you feel a strong urge to touch it, then walk into a gay bar and let unknown men fondle your private parts.  

If you watch women's sports on TV just to admire their beautiful athletic bodies, read a book instead.

A Fatally Fascinating Sequel

In our last post, we went all cryptic about what Dirty Harry might or might not have done in relation to some urinal or other. Uncle Sean explains, in this thrilling sequel, what was actually going on:

My apologies for the vagaries of my recent clippings. We had the great pleasure of visiting Coit Tower, which of course brought to mind the scene with Mrs. Westwood. So the loo pictured, the tower's actual loo, was shared in the spirit of architectural and filmological bog edification.
As for the resolution of the scene, that remark was meant to be ambiguous; let the mind of each individual make of it as they wish.

We don't know about you, but WE UNDERSTAND ALL THE AMUSING CONNOTATIONS NOW.

In other correspondence-related news, Shewee Fiend Friend sent us this festive picture of a cholera babe!

The top painting is a portrait of Kitty Fisher by Joshua Reynolds.
View the full Cholera Babe Parade here.

Look at this cholera babe I just found in the New York Public Library!
Looks like she has cholera anyway
Apologies for shitty phone quality

For those of you who are not familiar with the concept of the Cholera Babe Parade, a cholera babe is, as we so memorably put it in our classic post Woof! Cholera Babe Parade!, "a red-hot Victorian babe in the process of dying from cholera".

In other news, it has come to our attention that there is some competition or other, which is considered important by many people, and determines which restaurant is currently regarded as the best. Apparently, the Danish restaurant Noma was considered the best in the world until very recently. As it happens, we have a very lovely picture from Noma, which Audiologist Friend sent us not too long ago:

We are woefully unqualified to determine restaurant quality (our usual modus operandi when in a food-and-drink-serving establishment is to stumble to the bar and ask for the second cheapest whisky), but we certainly think this Noma toilet looks excellent! It's got a vertical toilet roll, which we decided last year was the ideal bog roll placement, and everything looks very clean, comfortable, and well ventilated. What this picture doesn't tell us is whether the facilities in Noma are afflicted with subjunctive taps - a particularly Danish disorder.
We shall have to continue pondering, no doubt.

We had originally planned a rampant feminazi video for this post, but then we came across this one! It was so festive, and the dudes in it so lovely, that we had to post this instead. Enjoy!

Festive video - Pjammerz Dubai, pjamming to Lloraras Por Mi by Chapa C

Related Reading

Our by now classic post about Dirty Harry: Gunning for Greatness

The original Cholera Babe Parade

A post on toilet roll placement: Rocking, Rolling, Ranting

Other posts about memorable Danish restaurants:
On Ranting, and Wine
Det lille Apotek: Big Beers and Small Toilets in Everyone's Favourite Toilet Country

Rumours, a Teaser, and More Epistolary Action (With Useful Facts about Everyone's Favourite Toilet Country)

On Ranting, and Wine

A good rant is like a good wine - it matures with time, and increases in strength and potency. (A rant is unlikely to make one drunk, however, making it inferior in that aspect to wine, though a combination of wine and ranting makes, in our experience, for a highly enjoyable evening.) We recently went on a rant about the insufficiency of Danish mixer taps. Let us therefore have some more ranting about Danish taps.

Look! Look how annoying this set-up is! Where is the single lever ensuring hygiene and ease of operation? one asks, shaking one's fist and squinting angrily.

This is very stylish, but is it hygienic?

After our recent visit to the excellent Hirschsprung museum in Copenhagen with our mum and our favourite aunt, we went to a charming restaurant called Zeleste, where we indulged, as far as we remember, in both wine and ranting. It was highly enjoyable, and we recommend it heartily to all and sundry.

Can't remember quite what happened here.
An interesting old-timey hatch of some kind manifested itself in the wall?

These toilet roll holders weren't covered, but the wine was so excellent we didn't care.

We ADORE black and white tiles!

We also adore this charming set-up of paper towels (though they are the environmentally-hostile bleached kind).

A charming door-handle!

In other news, a relative informs us that a nation's toilet-paper consumption can be used as an analytical tool for evaluating consumer confidence. Apparently, according to the Guardian, "the majority of toilet tissue sales in Germany during 2014 were of the economy type (the typically thinner, cheaper kind with no frills such as added softness)". We have long been enamoured with Germany and its toilet paper, and erupt into a cheerful tally-ho, Germany! (We have written several rants on the idiocy and environmental hostility of "luxury" toilet paper before - most of them are located under the Toilet Paper label on this blog.)

In more news, we received a lovely compliment from Welsh Gangster Friend, who said:
"I think of you every time I use a pub toilet." Aww.

In even more news, Obsessive Emmerdale Fan Friend sent us a message just now, saying:

An old drunk guy just gave me the finger inside Helsingborg's oldest church. 

Nice to know a middle finger works in any language!

Finally, Australian Friend sent us a greeting:

I have chanced upon a music video featuring a mixer tap!

Tally-ho!

Festive video, festively featuring a mixer tap - Huey Lewis and the News, I Want a New Drug


Related Reading
Our previous rant about the inefficacy of Danish mixer taps: The Hirschsprung Museum, or, Revising the Status of Denmark, or, Feverish Paranoia
Another post mentioning tiles: On the Tiles

Some of our classic toilet paper rants:
Toilet paper - A Pain in the Arse?
Going Soft: Yet Another Post About Toilet Paper
Toilet Paper - It's Time to HTFU!
HTFU - Wipe for Wildlife
Rocking, Rolling, Ranting

Enjoyable toilet paper trivia:
Some German Toilet Paper Trivia

International Women's Day: "Don't Be a Dick."

Today is International Women's Day! We expect to see you all in town, where we will be engaged in various activities to promote women!

It's funny, this thing about gender equality. As evidenced by Caitlin Moran, equality is really very simple. There are five rules:

1) Women are equal to men.

2) Don't be a dick.

3) That's it.

Nonetheless, people are accidentally being dicks all over the place. No doubt their intentions are noble, but somehow, maps flapping and compasses dangling, some people stumble into dick territory, without even being aware of it. They then lose their bearings completely, and stand around bleating and uttering moronic opinions.

One aspect of this that we have encountered a lot recently, is nice and well-meaning - but woefully ignorant - dudes claiming that the reason there are no women in history books is that "women haven't done anything of relevance, at all, ever, throughout the whole history of the human race". This attitude is more common than you'd think, even among people who have studied history at university level. Personally, we  have been accosted by dudes lost in dick territory about once a week lately. They shout and bluster, and complain about history no longer being "objective" once you start adding "women and opinions". As if history-writing including only white males were objective! As if any history-writing could ever be objective! As you can imagine, this kind of behaviour causes the Privy Counsel to collectively flare its nostrils and breathe fire.

Everyone is of course entitled to their opinion, but if that opinion ignores all the historiographical research  showing that women have, in fact, done lots of things, only traditional history writing tends to ignore them, then we reserve the right to consider people holding that opinion to be dick-territory eejits.

(This might be a good opportunity to review the Mansplaining - When Is It Socially Acceptable? chart.)

Let's have some toilets from a historical setting - Kronborg Castle - and remember all the hordes of powerful women who have kept places like this going! Huh! Having done that, let's get some maps out to all the eejits stumbling around in dick territory!

We went on a lovely day trip to Helsingør last spring, with our favourite aunt, who is also one of our favourite rampant feminist academics, and paid a visit to Hamlet's homestead.

We love grand entrances! Here is the grand entrance to Kronborg Castle.

Are you salivating?
Old iron-studded doors make us salivate.

Ditto charming red doors with old-fashioned handles.

Look! Even Danes can get it right!
This, ladies and gents, is a functioning and environmentally-friendly motion-sensor  mixer tap.
We find this tap reassuring, considering Denmark's many, many tap-related fuck-ups.

Hubba hubba!

WOOF!

We can't get enough of stylish, functioning locks!

Kronborg Castle in all its glory!

We spied this charming old sink (1930s?) in a random stairwell in the castle.
It reminds us, at any rate, of these ones, which are late 1930s.

An excellent window for gazing out of while pondering the wonders of women's history!

Let's have a kick-arse festive video to celebrate International Women's Day!

Festive video - Memphis Minnie, This Is Your Last Chance

Related Reading
A KICK-ARSE CASTLE BUILT BY A KICK-ARSE WOMAN WITH OODLES OF POWER WHO SPENT HER ENTIRE LIFE DOING NOTHING BUT GETTING SHIT DONE AND KICKING ARSE:
Christinehof: A Woman's Er, Bog Is Her, Er, Castle?

Our classic post on mansplaining:
On Mansplaining and Monastic Drains

Our recent musings on people being dicks on the internet:
Some Thoughts on Internet Vitriol. And a Gorgeous, Rose-Scented Toilet.

Other musings on smashing the patriarchy:
Unisex Toilets - This Shit Gets Political

Another important post on our cultural diversity agenda:
Pushing for Cultural Diversity

Our Privy Counsel Pin-Ups are, believe it or not, intended to show diversity and push for gender equality. (Then again there's a lot of Elvis action there, and Elvis is, whichever way you slice him, a white male.)

A post about Denmark's many, many tap-related fuck-ups:
The Hirschsprung Museum, or, Revising the Status of Denmark, or, Feverish Paranoia

Previous posts from Kronborg:
The Royal Toilet at Kronborg: "A Foul and Pestilent Congregation of Vapours."
Festive Things That Are Red

Some of Our Favourite Historical Women, in No Particular Order
Ani Pachen
Jane Gomeldon
Countess Markievicz
Edmonia Lewis
Anna Bugge Wicksell
Karolina Widerström
Lady Mary Wortley Montagu

P.S.
When we get depressed thinking about all the shouting dudes lost in dick territory, we cheer ourselves up by remembering some of our favourite people who are male, educated and terribly, terribly nice, and would never dream of being a dick to anyone:

Bogsley Hansson Friend
Enlightened Friend
German Friend
Intellectual Friend
Obsessive Emmerdale Fan Friend
Semi-Intellectual Friend