More Graffiti, and More Information Than Any Sane Person Can Reasonably Handle on Such a Hot Day

It's really too hot for any cerebral activity to be happening, at all, ever, but apparently there are some people still at it. Uncle Sean, for instance, has sent us more graffiti, Unreasonably Attractive Friend has shared Youtube material which he has unreasonably been withholding until now, and a relative of ours sent us a very interesting article indeed. 

Starting with Uncle Sean, that very, very, very old friend of ours, he says:

We remember this reflective urinal:

This festive graffiti featured in the post
Musings on Labels. Oooh, Hang on, "Label" - That's a Whisky, Right? back in June.

But the poignant lessons learned since:

"Go forth and die!" Don't you just love anarchic graffiti? We sure do.
You can just about glimpse Uncle Sean's handsome face in the mirror. If you enjoy almost looking at people in photos,
you may get a kick out of our classic post Celebrity Toilet Premiere.

This says, unless our intellectual capacity has abandoned us entirely, "Find it! Life[,] liberty and the pursuit of unhappiness". We seem to remember reading something interesting on the pursuit of (un)happiness recently, but we're buggered if we can remember what it was. Probably it was some random article being bandied about on Twitter - we'll let you know if we find it. In the meantime, have this philosophical reflection on material possession and personal fulfilment.

Unreasonably Attractive Friend informs us of this useful invention, which apparently ensures the pursuit of rampant amounts of happiness for incontinent golfers. We believe Unreasonably Attractive Friend intended a twinkle-in-the-eye comment on the Shewee, our favourite urinary device.

 (A note on editorial policy: Some of our friends choose their pseudonyms themselves. Others are ruthlessly assigned one by the Privy Counsel editorial team. We won't tell you which scenario resulted in the name "Unreasonably Attractive Friend".)

If you still have the energy, Unreasonably Attractive Friend also shared this information about the Roman sponge-on-a-stick bottom-cleaning device (read more about it here and here) being reincarnated in this disturbing American product.

A technologically-aware relative of ours, meanwhile, sent us this highly enjoyable article from Slate magazine, on why Californians will soon be drinking their own urine, prompting us to comment that drinking water is a piece of piss. (For information on other things that are a piece of piss, see this blog post from 2011.)

To paraphrase an author we admire to the point of unhealthy obsession, we're mongrel-bitch tired and really fancy a trip to the beach, so fuck off, darlings, and leave us alone.

Related reading
The Intellectual Streak Continues: Leeds university Library Bogs, or, Yorkshire Graffitti

Let's Talk About Graffiti
Graffiti in Everyone's Favourite Toilet Country (i.e. Denmark)
Information on the Roman version of toilet paper: The Roman Bath Museum - Crap on a Stick

More information on the same subject: The Finer Points of Roman Hygiene

On the Eighth Day God Created Paratroopers, But He Forgot the Soap

Non-toilet graffiti can also, occasionally, be interesting: Mystery of medieval graffiti in England's churches (BBC)

Ladies, Don't Take Life Sitting Down

Happy news today! In addition to having found its spiritual home, as reported yesterday, the Privy Counsel has found a soul mate! The Norwegian site kk.no is at least as paranoid as we are when it comes to bacteria, if not more! We find this immensely encouraging and vow to redouble our efforts to develop the worst case of OCD since the dawn of psychoanalysis.
 However, that's not the main news. Norwegian Friend sent us a link describing this nifty gadget. Regular readers may recall our update about the Shewee, saviour of needy women everywhere, but especially in cold places with a biting wind. The Gogirl contraption, however, is made of flexible silicone with a splash guard, which makes us think that it's easier and more comfortable to use than the Shewee. On the other hand, the Shewee is made from polypropylene, which is recyclable and therefore potentially environmentally friendly, which we like.

The Gogirl female urination device. Image from Cleanseat UK

  The Gogirl, unlike the Shewee, does not appear to be machine washable. It is, however, washable with soap and water and can withstand boiling water.
Our friend at the Roman Bath Museum claims to have invented a similar contraption with "accordion plastic attachments [and] calligraphy heads for fancy snow writing, too". However, laments Roman Bath Friend, "No one wanted it. [...] I don't understand women, clearly". We sympathise.

Anyone who's used this gadget, with or without an accordion attachment for snow writing, please feel free to share your experience. Leave a comment or email us at theprivycounsellor@gmail.com.

Related Reading:
Toilet etiquette for ladies (in Norwegian)
SISTERS STANDING UP FOR THEMSELVES
Far From the Madding Crowd: A Walker's Dilemma
Roman Bath Museum - Crap on a Stick

A Note on Desperate Measures

We had planned a tasteful update with stunning pictures of beautiful toilets with mixer-taps and wrought-iron toilet-roll holders, of such refinement and allure that it brought actual tears to our eyes. But it will have to wait. Something came up.
A friend's announcement that she's considering moving to London, exposing herself, her husband, and their small child to the dangers of non-integrated taps, reminded us of the need for public information on this subject. Luckily, there is an excellent public information video available. Seriously, people. This information could save your life.

Armed and dangerous. Do not approach. Image from Youtube

 Also, as our friend the Assistant Curator at the Roman Bath Museum in York (see all posts related to this friend here) never tires of saying, there are solutions involving soda bottles. It's a desperate measure, but has been known to work.

Mixer tap made from plastic bottle. Image from Persistent Inappeasable Mind

View more solutions here. Do try this at home if circumstances require it, but be careful, and remember the advice from the video above.

Further reading: 
Are You British? Does Tap Sanity Elude You?
Tap into Pain
The History of Plumbing: A Recap
The Roman Bath Museum - Crap on a Stick
Nunc Est Lavandum - Bath-time!
Hypocausts - A Hot Topic!

The Roman Bath Museum - Crap on a Stick

The Roman Bath Museum is a little gem tucked away in a quiet corner of York. It exhibits the remains of the Roman baths, erected in order to keep the soldiers of Eboracum clean and hygienic, and stop them from declining and falling all over the place.

The Roman Baths - how it might have looked

The museum's Assistant Curator, Brad Kirkland, explains to the Privy Counsel how the Romans used advanced technology to make the walls of their baths heat-transmitting and waterproof. A giant furnace contained a boiler, partially encased in concrete, from which water was transferred into lead pipes and, Mr Kirkland assures us, extracted from a mixer tap! If only Roman technology were reintroduced into these barbaric lands!

A Roman bog

Each soldier had his own "bog roll on a stick", consisting of a stick with a sponge attached to it, for wiping his bottom. Should he lose his own stick, he need not despair - a bucket of communal sponges, hygienically soaked in vinegar, was available if times became desperate. Does the "good Roman" of New Testament fame suddenly appear in a new light?

The museum's Assistant Curator, Brad Kirkland, demonstrating the Roman "bog roll on a stick"

A happy archaeologist in a Roman sewer. Such an elevating profession!

The Roman Bath Museum
9 St. Sampson's Square
York YO1 8RN
01904 620 455

Related Reading
A Roman Moment
Wasting Away: More Roman Bog Roll
Wasting Away: More Roman Bog Roll II
Roaring Good Roman Fun
Hypocausts - A Hot Topic!
The Finer Points of Roman Hygiene
Nunc Est Lavandum - Bath-Time!