Shewees Are a Girl's Best Friend!

Well, well, well, well, well. Due to academic commitments we have been unhygienically busy (ain't nobody got time for washing!) here at the Counsel lately, with the regrettable result that we have been unable to bring you the pictures from our debauched NEW YEAR'S PARTY WITH SHEWEES! Luckily, however, we have now managed not only to wash our hair, but to get our photos sorted!

For those of you who missed the announcement, Shewee very generously donated some female urination devices for our new year's party in London's trendy Shoreditch! As you can well imagine, the combination of booze and shewees basically cannot fail (see this example from Truly Madly Kids if you don't believe us), and a splendid shindig it was, too!

It didn't take very long for the party to deviate into a discussion of unfortunate and/or illegal instances of public urination (read about one of ours here). Some dude called David opined that "It is expensive if you get caught", adding, "The most I've spent is €30 urinating in public".

Australian Friend told us the fascinating story of a friend of hers (who shall remain anonymous), who not only regularly goes in her pants on the way home from the pub, but who chooses to inform her friends of when she is doing it. This, of course, is nothing compared to the antics of Very Brave Friend, who once pissed herself on the night bus when drunk.

Shewee Fiend Friend's sister, meanwhile, has a clever habit of sitting down a hill and pissing down the slope, which strategy Australian Friend has also used profitably.

When camping in Australia, it is apparently de rigeur to dig a latrine trench. If it's long enough, Australian Friend informed us, you don't have to worry about aim: you just straddle the trench. Australian Friend added that one definitely cannot aim after a Brazilian! "I defy anyone to try," she snorted feistily.

The subject of camping brought us to another tricky business: squatting when hiking! Awkward at the best of times, and completely objectionable in places where a lack of adequate vegetation renders one's arse exposed not only to inclement weather but to curious stares! Shewee Fiend Friend expressed the anguish of many women of our acquaintance when she said, "I can't squat so I used to have to not drink for six hours [when hiking]". This is why Shewee is truly a girl's best friend!
Australian Friend also touched on a related issue: squatting over dirty public toilets. "Hovering! Massive quad burn! Like Austin Powers!" this athletic woman ranted, vehemently, regarding the agony of lengthy urination when hovering over a less-than-clean loo. Australian Friend once suffered the trauma of accidentally pissing on her jeans when hover-pissing in a pub. She then had to wash her jeans in the sink, and dry them under the air dryer. This also happened to Australian Friend on another occasion, in a cinema.

As a most relevant aside, the Head Counsellor's mother is currently in Italy, enjoying the wine and complaining about the alla turca toilets. They are apparently tricky to use when one is veering in the direction of 70 and not comfortable with squatting. The Counsellor reminded her mother about the time when she used one on a wet, slippery floor, wearing ski boots, just after having torn an anterior cruciate ligament to bloody shreds. The Head Counsellor's mother thought about it then said, "you win".
Well, quite.

Could all of these uncomfortable situations have been avoided if the ladies in question had been equipped with shewees? They could.

Members of our party proudly displaying their brand-spanking-new shewees, kindly supplied by Shewee!

The urinal in Hoxton square, new year's eve.

At the Imperial War Museum! Because the green shewees are the same colour as this massive gun!

As a very non-relevant aside, Shewee Fiend Friend informs us that the Royal Tyrrell museum in Drumheller, Alberta, is the best museum ever. Shewee Fiend Friend even goes so far as to claim that this museum is the best part of Canada! Apparently, the dinosaurs are to die for, and you can confidently skip the rest of the country!

We may add, as a postscript, that once you've got into the habit of using your shewee while drunk, you can never go back.

Related Reading
Our personal public urination débacle:
A Morally Improving Story for World Toilet Day
Shewee Fiend Friend's rampantly entertaining Shewee review:
SISTERS STANDING UP FOR THEMSELVES
Our original Shewee review:
Far from the Madding Crowd - A Walkers' Dilemma
Using an alla turca toilet with a torn knee ligament - how to conquer the pain and get on with your business:
Italian Toilets: Mi Piace Servizi Igienici
More alla turca toilets:
On Her Majesty's Privy Service
Also, don't miss the Italian Trains!

Less Intellectualism, More Prurient Pictures!

People have been doing it again. Sending us pictures, that is! (What did you think?) We keep meaning to do a proper review (considering that we still insist that reviews are our raison d'être, we do woefully few of them these days), using the first-class toilet material lurking in our archives. However, with fabulous stuff like this, who CARES about reviews? Also, we've been working very hard recently, and this, in combination with the weekend's sleeplessness and Danish-  Intellectual- and Obsessive Emmerdale Fan Friend-related alcohol consumption, renders us momentarily rather sluggish of intellect. So let us drop all pretence at intellectualism and indulge, shamelessly, in amusing pictures!

First out are our Very Brave Friend's photos from Manchester, a city which seems full to the brim of fabulous toilets.

These ladies adorn the wall of a toilet in Manchester!

We think this particular lady is extra fabulous.

As ever, we are all in favour of clear signage!
Does this, however, remind one rather distressingly
of the dangerous taps which plague Britain? It does.

Very Brave Friend says: "It was a bit stingy
with the amount of soap that came out, and it was foam-based."

Apparently this jar is for emergencies of the sanitary kind.

Wasn't that refreshing!

Next up is a festive picture from Jonny, who says: "Only students would need this warning. Toilet spot at York St John."

York St John toilet. Note says, "Please don't put anything down the urinals."

Mr Smith delighted us with this beautiful picture from the Rockaway Bar in Shoreditch. This gladdens us because we might be spending some time there in the near future! Not to give too much away, but you know how Shewee generously sent us a barrage of shewees to rock the night away with? Well, the rocking the night away-ing might be happening in the very near vicinity of this place!

Finally, we have a quote from Tudor Friend, who amusingly says,

Anyway, musician humour from my mum's friends, discussing which historic musical figure they'd leave their husbands for: "Give Schubert a shot of penicillin and I'd run away with him. There has to be a reason he caught the syph."

Are you holding on to your nacho hats? There is more stuff like this coming! We have a rich supply of whimsical toilet photography from German Friend, which we hope to showcase very soon, and Intellectual Friend has rather incautiously promised to send us the promised photos from Norway - perhaps even before the year is over!  There is just NO END TO THE FABULOUSNESS!

Related Reading:
A Note on Desperate Measures
The Mysterious Forbidden Lavatories of Manchester
Dirty Toilets and Dirtier Minds - A Nautical Theme
Dread, Rage, and Out-of-Order Urinals

Rampantly Entertaining Pictures

Our favourite word right now, all categories, is rampant. It's a rampantly useful word, which can be used in many rampantly entertaining and informative contexts. This is why we're so delighted that our friends have been sending us such rampantly amusing pictures of late! To celebrate the fact that we have been rampantly intellectual as well as generally kicking arse recently, here's a selection of positively RAMPANT pictures!!

The first picture is from a very attractive friend of ours who is characterised by her extraordinary bravery. (More info here.) We have been assured that the water temperature in this tap is "pleasant". People, you have our blessing to rush forth to this Cheltenham bar!

"How do you feel about this tap?" Bar 50, Cheltenham.

Our next candidate is an illustration of a void, sent to us by a certain very dear French person, who we may likewise have mentioned on previous occasions. (We also had a rampantly kick-arse time at her wedding!)

"My friend had her tap changed by a plumber... She is now missing the tap.
Thought you'd like it."

Next up is a contribution from our main literature pimp, Bogsley Hansson Friend.

"What did you just do? One drop or two? From Ada's technical books in Seattle."

We have also this beautiful vintage ad from a friend who has a laudable habit of hosting very fun parties (with, intriguingly, ever-increasing floor space to pass out on), which have contributed to many a Privy Counsel hangover!

Vintage ad for Gustavsberg tap. From the Lund University archives.
MIXER TAP OF COURSE!

Tudor Friend sent us this image of a bathroom so sumptuous it boggles one's mind almost beyond repair!

America's best bathroom is in Minneapolis, apparently!

Finally. Last, but not least. The pièce de résistance. La crème de la crème. Etc. Ladies and gentlemen, behold this priceless picture from Australian Friend!

"Piccadilly Circus, 6 pm."

That's all for now! We've got some thrilling posts planned, though, so stay tuned!

Related Reading
A Lovely Cavalcade of Photos
A Festive Update
Another Favourite: Our Favourite Ever Handwashing Videos

Taking a Gander at Greatness

As all our regular readers know, toilets are extremely useful for many things, especially when clean and functional. What not many people appreciate, however, is the potential of your average bog to serve as catwalk, artistic venue or simply a place to dream of past or future glory! (For instance, Australian Friend tells us that toilets usually offer great acoustics and so lend themselves to being used as studios for the impecunious artist.) We thought we'd celebrate, in this post, the capacity of the toilet to inspire greatness! As we've had occasion to remember of late, greatness often goes hand in hand with insanity, and indeed three more or less demented friends of ours have shared pictures of themselves looking great in a toilet recently.

Let's start with Jonny! Jonny is an infamous toilet photographer, as many people recollect, to their chagrin. No-one can deny, however, that he is a cool dude and looks really good in a toilet!

Actually, Jonny doesn't usually look this cool.

Another notoriously demented friend of ours offered this glimpse of greatness. Lots of points for the stylish tiles and ever-so-cool boot!

What kind of idiot takes this kind of picture of themselves anyway?

Finally, we have this vision of fabulousness from a very dear and Very Brave Friend. Word!

Please note, this is by no means the first time
this particular toilet has acted as background to fantastic fashion.

There's no denying that the peculiar décor of toilets makes them the ideal venue for taking flattering photos. The lighting is usually purposely flattering (except on transport, as we've had occasion to complain of recently - but more on that another time), the tiles tend to show off one's figure to advantage, and one can, if one should happen to suffer from mild to life-threatening OCD, wash one's hands endlessly. You can't help but achieve greatness in a toilet!

If you are of the opinion that everyone should have access to adequate sanitation (even if you don't perhaps feel inclined to encourage people to lounge idly in toilets, taking pictures of themselves), why not spend a penny, if you have one to spare, at Oxfam Unwrapped, Water Aid or Toilet Twinning?

Related Reading
Jonny and a Public Toilet - A Treat for Single Ladies
Fair Play in Melbourne
Toilet-Twinning: Worcester Cathedral
Toilet Song: Soda Soap

Thanks for Sharing

Yesterday's city wall technicalities left us exhausted. It's time for some comic relief! Cool-as-S*** Friend sent us this amusing picture from the Park Plaza Riverbank Hotel in London.

Communication is so important

Says Cool-as-S*** Friend, "What are your feelings on toilet phone calls?"