Sunday, 11 June 2017

Feeling Single, Seeing 1.5: In Which Things Are Insanely Bleak, But Luckily There Are Pictures of Jonny

Ugh. Is our response to most things at the moment. Reading the news? Ugh. Thinking about the future? Ugh. Thinking about the present? Ughhhhhhhhh. Basically, our standard reaction to life is like that of Shewee Fiend Friend's sister upon encountering a non-mixer tap for the first time: weary bafflement.



Rumours are growing of a shadow in the west; whispers of a nameless fear. There's 45 in the far west, doing his best to kill, harass and intimidate his people, and in the slightly less further west (from a Scandiwegian perspective), Conservatives are giving their damnedest effort to eliminate unwanted persons, i.e. the poor. The election in the UK seems to have encouraged young people to get politically active, which is positive, but we still can't get over the fact that 40 % of the British populace voted for a party that is literally killing people. Our personal opinion of Jeremy Corbyn is that he seems to be a bit of an arsehead, but at least he isn't actively homicidal, which should count for something, but apparently doesn't. We're at the point right now where even binge-eating cheese doesn't relieve our heavy-as-a-box-of bricks (though why you'd go to the trouble of filling a box with bricks is anyone's guess) depression. Sparkling wine does seem to momentarily ease the horror, however.

Now then, now then. You didn't come to this blog to read some random toilet obsessive's views on politics, you are most likely saying to yourself right now, pounding your hairy chest under your string vest and spilling some more stale lager on the worn-out brown corduroy sofa your father sacrificed his lungs down the mines to pay for, while putting the finishing touches to your gun rack with the electric drill you borrowed off your mate Tom, who is a stevedore down the harbour, but not in a gay way. And quite rightly, too. Let's have some more enlightening pictures. These were sent to us by Dragon-Hunting Friend, from the Cube Design Museum in Holland, which is evidently staffed entirely by riotously festive people:


Festive toilet-related nudity always cheers one up, actually

Woof! We can't wait to visit this festive museum!

We then move on to a philosophical question from everyone's favourite lad-about-town, Jonny:

Woof!
Believe it or not, but we didn't anticipate the answer to that question! For once in our life, we were actually wrong! Let us have a close-up of the picture, for your edification and delight:

Mmm.

We're going to delve deeper into Jonny's recent excursions into bar toilets. That handsome young whippersnapper writes:

Yesterday I visited one of the best toilets I've ever seen 
Foot traffic was heavy as you can imagine in such a magnificent space but I managed to get one photograph off
We replied in the only possible way:
WOOF!
To which Jonny answered, reasonably:
I'll say
Jonny: 
That's a teaser and I'll go back for more soon

The Privy Counsellor: 
WOOOF! 
#HeavyBreathing 
We need to do a blog post soon, but today we're busy getting drunk, so probably tomorrow!

Jonny: 
Yes!! Me too! 
You're an inspiration.


We think we'd better stop there, before things get out of hand. First, though, let's have a Festive Video! This clip from Dirty Dancing illustrates, adequately we believe, how every single one of our readers reacts when having even fleeting thoughts about Jonny. Entirely reasonably, we might add.



Festive Video - Mickey & Sylvia, Love Is Strange, from Dirty Dancing

Related Reading:
That time when we were feeling single, seeing double
All posts featuring Shewee Fiend Friend
All posts featuring Dragon-Hunting Friend
All posts featuring Jonny
That other post featuring mentions of string vests

1 comment:

  1. could toilet backpacks be the new shewee??

    ReplyDelete

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