Uncle Sean's Very Rude Toilet Graffiti

One of the luxuries of having excellent friends is not knowing where to begin.

The Privy Counsel archive is like a badly taxidermied elephant that's been left out in the rain: large, filthy, and stuffed. There are literally more photos in there than we know what to do with. This state of affairs causes both delight and misery. Delight, because we love getting amusing missives from our friends. Misery, because every time we sit down to pen a blog post, we have to leave a shedload of fantastic pieces of toilet photography out! As the poet said,

O what a life is it that lovers joy,
Wherein both pain and pleasure shrouded is:
Both heavenly pleasures and eke hells annoy,
Hells fowle annoyance and eke heavenly blisse.

We simply cannot use all the lovely photos at once! However, since we have mentioned Uncle Sean's rude toilet graffiti twice now, we had better deliver, lest we disappoint our readers.

Uncle Sean says:

Always on the lookout for glamorous loos to share with my great appreciator, here is one from this evening's depository.
The place: Sully's Snow Goose Saloon, where dogs are welcome, not just to enter, but to beg at your table - even so bold as to have a nuzzling nose in your crotch.

We don't know if the pictures below bear any relation to Uncle Sean's words, in terms of crotch-nuzzling. We really hope not. But, due to the nature of the pictures, we consider it a good idea to insert a warning at this point. We're far from prudish or easily shocked at the Counsel (hell, we count Jonny almost as a friend), but our legal team has advised us that there are limits to what one can expose one's readers to without warning. Hence, some words of caution:

IF YOU ARE UNDER EIGHTEEN, LOOK AWAY IMMEDIATELY.

IF YOU POSSESS A SENSE OF PROPRIETY, DON'T EVEN BOTHER.

WHEN CONSUMING ALCOHOL, DON'T FORGET TO EAT FIRST, OR YOU MAY END UP ACCIDENTALLY VOMITING ON THE FLOOR.

Caveats in place, let's get cracking!

Apart from advertising the availability of free bacon,
this delightful graffiti informs us that "He's got [gonorrhoea]".
(Remember that gonorrhoea is multi-drug resistant - proceed with caution!)

One of the many zippy messages here reads "Fuck hairy tits".
We couldn't agree more!

This picture needs no explanation whatsoever.

We've been getting so many reading tips this week that we can hardly keep up.
A relative of ours informs us that human waste could turn out to be worth its weight in gold, since some enterprising person realised that precious metals can be extracted from sewage. This would also be good for the environment - hurrah!
Also, hollers Australian Friend,  a third-century papyrus containing a commentary on Homer's Iliad has been identified as having been used as toilet paper. (Read some poetry by Homer here.)

This week has been startling in many ways (accidentally brutally throwing up on the floor was highly surprising, for instance), but Friday is finally here, and we are inclined to celebrate with a festive video!

Festive video - Pistol Annies, Bad Example

Related Reading

All contributions from Uncle Sean
Get it here. (Homerian poetry, that is. What did you think?)
All posts featuring graffiti
Once again, remember that gonorrhoea is multi-drug resistant. Seriously, people. You don't want this disease.