A very dear friend of ours has been gagging for a Toilet Tales version of
Lady Chatterley's Lover for some time now.
Voilà!
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| The young Constance Reid marries Clifford, Lord Chatterley, in a lavish ceremony, and goes to live with him at Wragby Hall. Unfortunately Lord Chatterley is packed off to the war shortly thereafter, and returns crippled and impotent. |
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| Lord Chatterley is, no doubt for good reason, obsessed with miners. |
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After becoming a writer, Lord Chatterley surrounds himself with intellectuals.
His wife finds them boring and pretentious. Her existence becomes ever more draining. |
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| Luckily, she soon finds recreation and amusement in the arms of Mellors, the gamekeeper. |
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Lady Chatterley goes on holiday.
During her absence, Mellors' wife returns, causing a scandal with her ill-natured remarks.
The gossip-mongers have a field day. |
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Lady Chatterley comes back, announcing that she is pregnant with Mellors' child. Her husband, being a morally rigid Edwardian, refuses to give her a divorce. The gossip-mongers have a giant tea-party,
with cucumber sandwiches, scones, and sponge-cake. |
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Mellors is fired and goes to live on a farm. Lady Chatterley moves in with her sister to await her confinement.
We assume that they meet again, and live happily ever after. |
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