Girls Just Want to Have Fun(damental Human Rights)

As we never tire of pointing out, we are pretty lucky at the Privy Counsel, what with having friends liberally sprinkled all over the planet who are happy to send us toilet pictures. This thought consoles us when things get too grim. There is no shortage of misery either online or in the real world, and sometimes dealing with it all gets too much. As someone pointed out on Twitter the other day, it's ok to go offline because we aren't made to process human suffering on this scale.

We by no means claim to be experts at dealing with tragedy (we can frequently be found gibbering incoherently over a gin and tonic at midnight), but one approach that we have often found helpful is to try to do one thing. Just finding one tiny thing that you can improve can make an enormous difference, not just for your mood, but for the actual world.

Give someone a compliment, send a friend a postcard, smile at a stranger (unless of course you belong to the 50 % of people highly likely to be sexually harassed for simply existing in a public place; be careful with smiling if this is the case), volunteer at a women's shelter, encourage someone who doubts themselves, support your female colleague in her fight against mansplainers, call your political representative and tell them what you think. If you have an amazing aunt, cherish her. (Check out more things you can do at this really great site.)

Remember, also, to take care of yourself. Be kind to your body, nurture your mind. When at a great party, take photos of the toilets! Our favourite audiologist, Audiologist Friend, went to one a little while ago, and sent this greeting:

Var på bröllopsfest på galleri Verkligheten i Umeå! Spolningen blev överhettad pga mycket mat och dryck, 40 gäster och festen som varade 12 h!
Fantastisk fest  

(Was at wedding party at the Verkligheten gallery in Umeå! The flush got overheated due to much food and drink, 40 guests and the party, which lasted 12 hours!
Amazing party  )

A festive, art-poster-enriched toilet!

A helpful piece of freezer tape says "The flush may need time (to recover)". We totally identify with this.

We're not entirely sure what's going on here. There is possibly greenery (yallery, Verkligheten gallery), a mirror, and a cardigan hung up on a helpful coat hook?

 Well, wasn't that refreshing! We will now continue to lie down on our chaise-longue, and stay there until Sunday night, or until the world hardens the fuck up and stops breaching human rights left, right and centre; whichever comes first.

If you have access to a chaise-longue, we recommend you lie down on it IMMEDIATELY, preferably with a large supply of alcoholic beverages close at hand.

One final piece of unsolicited lecturing before we move on to the Festive Video:

Note that women's health is under threat everywhere. Accept that reproductive rights are human rights. Understand that women in control of their fertility are better able to access education, care for their families, and build stable communities. Remember that girls' education is the key to building a better, safer world.

Festive Video - The Oxford Belles, Girls Just Want to Have Fun(damental Human Rights)


Related Reading
All posts featuring Audiologist Friend
All posts featuring gender equality
Check out more things you can do at this really great site.

Stockholm Central Station: The Trauma Is So Great We Are Brought To Quoting Cicero

Quousque tandem abutere, Stockholm Central, patientia nostra?

 We were invited to celebrate the birthday of a very dear friend of ours, and for this reason got the sleeper train to Stockholm, a place we normally go to great lengths to avoid. All our worst paranoid fears were justified when we, having staggered off the train at 6:16 a.m., bleary-eyed and with the bonhomie of a gouty grizzly bear, went in search of the ladies', in order to tend to our personal hygiene and apply some make-up, only to find that the toilets were BLOODY UNISEX.

Now, we agree with you that it would be vastly preferable if we lived in a world where women weren't judged more on appearance than competence. We would totally fucking love it if a woman weren't 2.6 times more likely to be interrupted than a man, if women aspiring to any kind of authority didn't receive death- and rape threats as a matter of course, and if every time we appeared in public with no make-up on, people didn't flock around us asking if we're alright, as we look so tired. We would be thrilled if make-up weren't a prerequisite to women being taken seriously. Unfortunately, we have have grown up in a world where the foremost measure of a woman's worth is her appearance, and, thanks to this early socialisation, we are rather prone to slapping on some foundation and eyeliner before even attempting to interact with our fellow human beings.

The application of make-up requires solitude. It is a very private ritual, designed to provide an armour to mask one's inherent vulnerability in a man's world. A ritual that one certainly doesn't want some random person, cushioned by male privilege, to come and gawk at. This is why we are appalled every time we need to adjust our make-up and the toilets are unisex.

As we have stated before, we are all in favour of unisex toilets - as long as they don't leave women vulnerable to the male gaze, and the potential of male violence that it entails. We're aware that going to a public toilet is awkward for many trans people, and would cheer on a constructive solution to this problem. We simply fail to fathom why "inclusivity" appears to mean reducing women's safety. If having only men's and women's toilets means that some people feel unsafe, then for fuck's sake either introduce a third category, or make sure that any unisex toilets offer a safe space for women!

Here's what happened when we got to the toilets at Stockholm Central train station:

We paid our ten kronor to the friendly attendant.

We went into an uncomfortable and not overly clean cubicle. We have ranted on the vileness of cubicles many times before, and do not need to further expostulate on this subject.

We despaired at the sound of a creepy middle-aged man trying to chat up two teenage girls right outside our cubicle, and deplored a world that allows him access to them in this despicable hell-hole of a restroom.

We washed our hands in the none-too-clean trough-like sinks. (What is this modern obsession with sinks in the shape of troughs? Is this a conspiracy by hipsters wanting everything to look like 19th-century farm equipment?)

We despaired at the absence of mirrors, and muttered the filthiest medieval curse we could think of, wishing warts and a wasting disease on the person who decided it was a good idea to install vaguely reflective black panels instead of mirrors.

We scowled at the pathetic "footage-of-a-fireplace-on-a-loop" installation, and wished, in a fit of petulance, that we had brought our shewee so we could piss disdainfully all over it.

We sent death rays of hatred in the direction of the person who decided to install air dryers instead of proper paper towels.

We washed our face, drying it with a tissue we had luckily brought with us, and wished that someone had had the forethought to predict that people would want to tend to their ablutions when getting off the sleeper train, and would require a more comfortable and hygienic option than sticking their face under the air dryer.

We scowled at the man unabashedly staring at us while we applied our make-up. We restrained ourselves from punching said man in the face.

We moved to a different sink.

The man followed us, and kept staring.

Dear Stockholm Central, would it be too hard to install a space where women can escape from the male gaze for just a few minutes, and actually feel safe? Would it not be possible to rip out the awful cubicles - that everyone hates anyway - and install proper toilets, with a proper sink and mirror in each one?

Even the famed Swedish blogger Blondinbella, who is not someone we would normally identify with, has expressed her disgust at the cringe-worthy awkwardness of mixed-sex toilets, and the traumatising experience of trying to apply make-up with a man staring at one.

Jernhusen, meanwhile - the company that owns all of Sweden's train stations - claim in a mindbogglingly imbecilic press release that the toilets at Stockholm Central "have been designed with inspiration from several natural elements, such as fire and water [how about wind?] and with aspects which attract [sic] several of visitors' senses [which ones, exactly?].

Despite this rampant hyperbole from Jernhusen, we felt uncomfortable and downright unsafe while visiting their toilets at Stockholm Central. We urge our readers to continue to avoid going to Stockholm, or, if you must go there, to avoid using the toilets at the central station.

Thankfully, once we arrived a our destination for the weekend, Mora Hotell in Mora, our senses were soothed and our spirit revived by a truly excellent toilet!

Isn't this hygienic, copper-coloured toilet-roll holder just beautiful?

An excellent, excellent sink. It truly restored our equilibrium after the cattle-trough trauma at Stockholm Central!

Everything in this toilet is beautiful and works well - from the toilet to the ventilation!

A sturdy bin, at a comfortable distance from the truly, truly excellent toilet. And there's that copper-coloured toilet-roll holder again! Woof!

A festive copper-coloured lamp, lighting up some festive locally sourced art.

We give this toilet two very enthusiastic thumbs up! (We are confident that, if Leslie Knope had been with us, she would also have loved this toilet.)

We have, actually, a whole hoard of fantastic photos from Australian Friend, Audiologist Friend, and Meandering Friend, but right now we have an urgent appointment with a gin and tonic. Let's finish with a festive video, shall we? Except let us first wish Maureen Helen - a fine, upstanding Australian and one of our favourite bloggers ever - a happy birthday!

Today's Festive Video carries a message which we rather think we could all do with hearing, but perhaps especially the teachers among us: You may feel like you're orienteering in the dark, with your feet bound and a pack of wolves howling just across that field full of landmines and clowns, and like your lesson planning is haphazard to the point of endangering your students' actual mental health. But actually, you're DOING JUST FINE.

Festive Video - Rodney Atkins, Doin' It Right

Related Reading
Another rather lengthy rant on unisex toilets: Love, Politics and the Revolution
The best unisex toilets we have ever come across are at the Bee Bar in Malmö

Ai Weiwei: Incarceration and Sanitation

We could tell you a tale of misogyny, misery, and melancholy, to simultaneously boil your blood and chill the spine. (After all, it is nearly Halloween!) All we'd have to do would be to tell you about our week. But frankly, isn't life appalling enough as it is, without us moaning about our personal traumas? Well, quite. So let us think about our own weary concerns another day and concentrate on somebody else's for a change.

Bogsley Hansson Friend, that connoisseur of all things cultural, sent us a message from Ai Weiwei's exhibition at the Royal Academy of Art. Weiwei's S.A.C.R.E.D. depicts his 2011 house arrest in China. Bogsley Hansson Friend writes:

Ai Weiwei bog art. Part of S.A.C.R.E.D.
Six boxes / dioramas you can look into that are about his house arrest / incarceration.

At the risk of being flippant, we must say that this shower scene reminds us of Semi-Intellectual Friend's shower in Thailand. Although of course Semi-Intellectual Friend wasn't, as far as we know, guarded by Chinese army officials at the time.
When we think about it, the design also reminds us of Semi-Intellectual Friend's shower in Denmark. It appears that, although competent in many areas of life, Semi-Intellectual Friend has very bad luck with showers.

The outside of the boxes, at the Royal Academy.

We would exhort our readers to support Amnesty International to help political prisoners around the world, but then there's the issue of the decriminalisation of prostitution, that no right-thinking person can support, and it all gets very muddled and confusing. One should of course still support all the other work that Amnesty does (for balance, see also Amnesty's motivation for passing the resolution to support the legalisation of prostitution), but it behoves every thinking human being to protest the de-criminalisation of people who benefit financially from trapping women, men and children into prostitution. It is not too late, by the way, to protest against the resolution: We have not given up and it is not too late.

A festive video on the theme of freedom seems fitting, n'est-ce pas? (Although of course the American notion of freedom is inherently problematic (especially in this Southern context - apart from all the colonialism and white supremacy lurking about, there is the fact that the vehicle of freedom is always a petroleum-consuming car - what's wrong with an environmentally friendly and health-promoting bicycle, for instance?), and possibly we should spend time on research in order to find something more universal, but frankly, my dear, we have had a rough week and we wish to get on with our Sunday now. Also this is a song about a woman escaping an abusive husband, and that is a concept we support wholeheartedly, whatever the context.)

Festive video - Danielle Bradbery, The Heart of Dixie

Related Reading
All posts featuring Bogsley Hansson Friend

Interview with Ai Weiwei in Vice, mentioning his bicycle

All posts featuring Semi-Intellectual Friend
A favourite post of ours, in which we get sentimental about our friends: Ask Not for Whom the Bog Rolls

Pictorial Eloquence

Tally-ho! We've been busy as [insert industrious animal of choice], here at the Privy Counsel, running hither and thither, and probably other directions as well, and generally racking our brains, taxing our intellect, and engaging in a fury of cerebral activity. Our frantic industry has rendered us unable to tend to our bog blog with the attentiveness to which it is accustomed, and as a result, the pile of toilet pictures in our archive has grown to an alarming size. We suspect there are a couple of dwarves and a pheasant trapped in there - we can hear them muttering at night, and scratching the walls - but the sheer volume of pictures means we can't get in far enough to help them. A radical reorganisation seems indicated, and will definitely be executed as soon as we can spare the time. Any decade now, in fact.

In the meantime, here are some pictures that kind people have sent us recently, and which haven't even made it into the archive, having instead lain in a large unorganised pile on our desk, therefore being easy to find. Tally-ho, yoik, and all that.

Bogsley Hansson Friend sent us this festive greeting from Canada. A goose indicates to ladies that this is where they should head when nature calls, while a stag (below) performs the same office for gentlemen.

We could wax loquacious on the subject of gender stereotyping, but actually we're still really busy.

Tudor Friend calls these toilet-seat covers "classy and toilet-related".
We are unable to resist the temptation to consider them also "Elvis-related".

According to Semi-Intellectual Friend, this is an Iron Age toilet in Gurness.

A dear friend who we like to refer to, for reasons lost in the mists of time, as Uncle Sean,
sent us this picture, with the most eloquent caption:

"There I stood, poised at the urinal, zipper, hand, posture as you would expect,
with no further intention than relief, but there before me this artwork, this quote, edification."

We fucking love toilet poetry. If you find Uncle Sean's musings inspiring, you may want to check out
Danish Friend's bog poetry, or even Intellectual Friend's toilet graffiti.

Another thought-provoking contribution from Bogsley Hansson Friend, this time from Seattle.

Since we try to end all our  blog posts with a festive video, here is a most convivial clip of a highly festive Twitter acquaintance of ours, the Loo Tour Lady.

Festive video: The Loo Tour lady

Related Reading
If one gets too overworked, one can end up believing that one is a tiny, speckled hamster:
Safety at Work
If you enjoy the combination of archives and art: 
Blurry, Lop-Sided Archive Musings
Danish Friend's bog poetry:
Christmas 2013: Shetland Shithouses Part II. Umm, Poetry in Motion?

Intellectual Friend's bog graffiti:
The Intellectual Streak Continues: Leeds University Library Bogs, or, Yorkshire Graffitti

Rampant Titillation - Basically, a Real-Life Epistolary Novel!

Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well. It seems there is simply no limit to how communicative our friends can get. We've been publishing a fair amount of Intellectual friend's musings on life, the universe, and toilet doors - always gratefully received due to their unrestrained intelligence, wit, and keen understanding of all things toilet-related - recently, and what do you know? Semi-Intellectual Friend has just dispatched a massive missive about wedding toilets!

We've been busy as, well, beavers, lately and, due to a combination of a rather solid workload and an increasingly severe obsession with Richard Armitage, we have found it a challenge to maintain our usually rigid blogging standards. Hampered in our endeavour to provide our regular readers with the edification and amusement we know they eagerly crave, we've been scratching our metaphorical beards, hoping for a long email containing amusing photos, in order to be able to pass it off as original material and save ourselves time. Well, sometimes, apparently, prayers are answered.

For layout reasons we're interspersing Semi-Intellectual Friend's drunken toilet photos in the text,
even though they're not explained till quite a bit further down.
That's a pretty weird urinal, huh?

In fact, dear readers, you are in luck. The above-mentioned solid workload and Richard Armitage obsession render us, as we have mentioned, permanently pressed for time. We simply cannot be arsed editing Semi-Intellectual Friend's message, meaning that we are going to just reproduce it as it appeared in our inbox. And, what's more, you get our replies as well! This is, basically, an epistolary novel - right up there with Les Liaisons Dangereuses and Lady Susan!

Semi-Intellectual Friend: I have photographs for the Counsel team. I'll get them to you soon I promise. Important photos. Probably life-changing. 

The Privy Counsellor: Look forward to the life-changing photos. Do they, by any chance, incorporate Richard Armitage? No worries if not, but it would be great if they did. 

No Richard Armitage in sight, alas.
There is, however, an encouraging - if empty - beer glass. 

Semi-Intellectual Friend: I do have a crapload of drunkenly-taken wedding toilet photos (is this actually one of the key genres of toilet photos these days?). To be honest, the toilets were pretty unremarkable – just your bog-standard two toilets and a bunch of urinals set-up (sorry, pun unintentional – though is it even a pun in this case?), but the choice of paper or cloth towel was a nice touch, as was the availability of hand moisturiser, which is a product that a nice lady who was trying to flog hand moisturiser down the mall told me off for never having used before. And I still haven't used any because real men have hands that are as cracked and tough as the floor of the Gobi if it was made from leather. 

Really, there are two reasons for a wee photo or two of these toilets (again, not on purpose): the very literally conceived toilet art (blurrily captured in the photos – they were classy sketches) and the super-weird urinals, which had a big step right in front of them. No-one really knew how to deal with that. To step up or pee from a distance? I think most of the users just saw it as a chance to show off and opted for distance, usually standing further back than was really necessary to demonstrate their range and power. I did have an entire conversation with a guy about the step while he was peeing, but as he was looking at me constantly while holding his penis in one of his hands I felt too uncomfortable to actually take in any of what he was saying. I think he was saying that they troubled him too. Anyway, nice toilets. 

Maybe you should set up a guest scoring system, separate from your own. But ridiculous, obviously, to ensure that all those who are not full members of the Privy Counsel are suitably belittled and aware of their low station. I'm not feeling very creative at the moment but, hmm, like, I award the above male water closet the score of Tesco's Finest 100% recycled toilet paper (possibly not a thing), though I know it probably read more like a Toilet Duck Fresh Gel Discs Lavender.

Toilet art.

That guy did have great technique. In fairness. 

And you really don't have to post what I said verbatim, if it ever goes on the site. Feel free to express what I said in your own inimitable style. And that second paragraph really wasn't part of the review, if you do put it on your website in any form. If it was, I would have spent more time thinking about a suitably shite scoring system. 

Irish toilet art.

The Privy Counsellor: ZOMG. That's amazing! Just what we need - as we've just said in the blog post we're writing, not very successfully due to getting distracted by photos of Richard Armitage, so to speak at the time of writing, our obsession with Richard Armitage renders us intellectually handicapped and differently abled to write blog posts that reach the stringent standards of intellectualism which the Privy Counsel, believe it or not, usually strives to uphold.
We've been praying for a long rambling Friend post with pictures and - GADZOOKS, EGAD - an alternative scoring system! The mind boggles! is this a new toilet-blog paradigm in the making?

Just one question: Where was the wedding? And yes, wedding toilets are totally a separate category, though we've never had Friend Toilet Photos before, so - GORBLIMEY - this is, like, totally revolutionary!!! 

Hang on, we think [Obsessive Emmerdale Fan Friend] just sent us more pictures of Richard Armitage...

Oh. It was a picture of Eoin McLove. *goes back to looking at Richard Armitage fan blogs* 

All good things come in threes?

Semi-Intellectual Friend: "I smell wee!" Timeless classic. 

The wedding was in Rathmullan House, a cunningly named hotel in Rathmullan, county Donegal. It was actually awesome. My uncle not only had the good sense and decency to make me one of his best men (a post I qualify for through interpersonal skills and latent Scrabble skills [well, I assume they're latent; not having played much Scrabble I'm not too sure, but I expect them to pop right out when the world finally gets up the confidence to challenge me to a game]), but he also hired out the entire hotel, which enabled everyone to get blind drunk in peace.

I fully expect your harnessing of the alternative scoring system to raise toilet-blogging to new heights, as a genre, pastime and formative new-world ideology.

The Privy Counsellor: Wedding sounds like it was really good, though we have a sneaking suspicion that you mentioned Scrabble just to annoy us.

Semi-Intellectual Friend: Re: Scrabble. I only do most things to annoy you. Even when you're not around (admittedly, almost always), I'm doing things like preferring hand dryers over recycled paper towels in the hopes that the negative impact of such an act will be chain-reactioned through all the atoms of our existence and push a small stone into your shoe when you're running, just at the exact moment your foot hits the ground (yeah! that was me). 

I'm such a fool. I can hear my friends in the next room having a discussion about how Luxembourg's toilet rolls are the best in the world and I'm in here trying to understand the semantics of the name Thor in Iceland, a subject I am totally unequipped to consider.

Apparently you can just flush them or something. They're exceptionally biodegradable.

Ireland: A place of eerie, haunting beauty.

As regular readers will know, wedding toilet pictures are totally a sub-genre. Check out ours here: Weddings.

Somehow we feel like we should end this mind-bogglingly excellent post with a festive video.

Festive video: Mitchell and Webb, Posh Dancing

Related Reading

(Don't) Aim for the Stars

HTFU: A Journey Through an Australian Dunny

Hwæt! For Better Or for Worse, Whether There Is a Toilet-Roll Holder Or Not, Etc.

A Charming Domestic Vignette from Intellectual Friend, and Musings on Intellectual Safety
AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! AIR-DRYERS!

Blurry, Lop-Sided Archive Musings

Since writing the below, we've sobered up, got drunk again and engaged in what we're pretty sure qualifies as line-dancing. You only live once.

Egad, corblimey and plain out zounds! what a week it's been! We've been working semi-productively on an etymological mystery with Intellectual Friend, heard some good news from Obsessive Emmerdale Fan Friend, and generally experienced a reasonable amount of thrilling tidings, semi-unbridled festiveness and joie de vivre!  (And only part of that joie de vivre is beer-induced.)
Another thing that's been adding fizziness to the Privy Counsel atmosphere is burrowing into the archives at Arkivcentrum Syd. This festive archive, filled literally to the rafters with exciting material and friendly staff, isn't far from our favourite university library, the Lund University Library - one of the toilets of which we have privately dedicated to Intellectual Friend, in homage to his giant intellect! (A truly dazzling intellect deserves its own honorary toilet, surely?)
Also, we are simply bursting with delight to tell you, the toilets at Arkivcentrum Syd are excellent. No relative, maybe, hmm-let's-think-about-it caution here - these toilets are truly spiffing!
Enjoy:

We regret that modern technology has, once again, thrown a spanner
into the works. If you find this sideways toilet perspective enjoyable,
see Gleeful Antics at Grays Court.

Check this out! Mixer tap, cleanliness and gleaming hygiene as far as the eye can see!

We fucking love these doorhandles.
They're easy to use, and you can operate them with your elbow, meaning
you don't have to recontaminate your hands by touching the doorhandle
after painstakingly washing your hands.
If you enjoy opening doors with your elbow, see our OCD label.

Isn't that lovely!

Woof! UNBLEACHED PAPER TOWELS IN A STYLISH HOLDER!
If you enjoy paper towels, see our post called AAAAAAARGH!

Here's the sink again. Christ, it's lovely.

AND HERE'S THE BEST THING OF ALL! TOILET ART!!!

This painting, displayed in the Arkvicentrum cloakroom,
is by a chap called Peter Lundström. It's entitled Orpheus Street.
(N.b. the painting is also sideways, due to technical errors.)

Another painting (also show here sideways), by the same artist, is called Mossbury Road.
We find the in-your-face boldness of the non-integrated tap refreshing!

We hope you enjoyed that glimpse of scholarly toilets! Speaking of which, Intellectual Friend sent us a line after we published his oh-so-intellectual justification for ill-advisedly using the word cute:

"What a pleasure to get published, almost instantly, and without even being asked to make corrections to over-rambling sentences and lack of supporting references, and all this in a cutting-edge, no doubt world-leading bog blog, where, on top of everything else, one even gets a brilliant editorial foreword, afterword, and epilogue to one's ramblings! "

Anyone for a festive video to finish off all this gusto, brio and joie de vivre? Because we shook our boots to the un-feminist version of this song on the dancefloor last night, we have a strong urge to play the feminist version, in order to restore the balance of the universe. The lyrics seem strangely appropriate: 

We are scholastic
Smart and sarcastic 

Not fucking plastic

"Law Revue Girls want to define those supposedly 'blurred lines'."

Related Reading

Lund University Library: Festschrift to Intellectual Friend

Cuteness, Intellectual Solace, and a Correction

AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! AIR-DRYERS!

The Intellectual Streak Continues: Leeds University Library Bogs, or, Yorkshire Graffitti

More Intellectual-Friend-Related sideways toilets:

Gleeful Antics at Grays Court

A Toilet Mystery

The Spirit of Christmas: Mixer Tap, Urinals, Relief

What? Christmas? When? How? Gaaah!
Once again, we find ourselves unprepared for the onslaught of seasonal festivity, due to our rather too vigorous academic pursuits. Luckily, our friends are on the ball - not only have we got some unbelievably thrilling pictures from Intellectual Friend, Danish Friend, and Danish Friend's Danish Dad to delight and amuse you with this holiday season, we have also got a spectacularly festive series of joyous Yuletide toilet photography from German Friend! Our esteemed Teutonic friend writes:

Hello there and ahoi,
Here is a little treat for Christmas, straight from that London. Mixer tap, urinals, relief, and... to while away the time during that epic pee, pictures of semi-nude belles of a an era gone by... *sigh*What more could a man wish for? Seriously! What? More?
Take care, god jul, and always have a spare urinal cake handy. You never know!

One is rather inclined to be feeling single, seeing double, again.

A bit rude, what?

Well goodness, that's a lot of nudity all in one toilet.

This is when it gets really exciting! L'Occitane soap and a mixer tap!

WOOF!

That was highly enjoyable! We feel spiritually invigorated, and ready to face another week of uninhibited festive drinking Christmas! Let's have an exuberant video to continue the celebrational mood!

Woof!

Festive video: Elvis Presley, If I Can Dream

Related Reading

Feeling Single, Seeing Double: Sct. Clemens Brewery, Aarhus

Dirty Toilets and Dirtier Minds -  A Nautical Theme

Advent Adventures: A Revolutionary New Look at the Best Toilet in England

A Christmas Story: Egils Saga

Art and Cleaning Tips

Did you hear that? That was the sound of the Privy Counsel's various members rushing around having fun with hurricane force! Love has been budding at the Counsel, and two of our Friends actually went and got hitched last week! We will most certainly be updating on the state of the toilets at this happy event, but for now our knackered, partied-out state requires something soothing, not too intellectually strenuous. How about some art? We've got toilet art for you!

Image from Art Ephemere

 This charming work of art was created using a toilet (obviously), chocolate and brown paint. We think it's fabulous! (We also enjoyed the picture of Elvis.)

If you, like us, have been on the road and not replenished the household supplies for a while, it may be useful to know that you can get rid of lime-scale in the toilet using Coca Cola.

Image from Wiki How

 You can follow the instructions, or just do what we did last time we were hungover: drink Coke; regurgitate into toilet bowl, ensuring even distribution; leave for a bit; flush. Your toilet has never been so shiny.

A Lovely Cavalcade of Photos

Ho-hum. Here we were, trying primarily to a) relax and CTFD, but getting increasingly anxious and resorting to b) getting some sodding work done, when we were, predictably, side-tracked by people sending us lovely photos. (We're not complaining!)
So, since it is, after all, Saturday night, let's get a little bit festive! Behold, a lovely cavalcade of photos!

German Friend offered this glimpse of things to come:
"A little preamble to the still missing existentialist toilet...
That theme seems to be all the rage in Deutschland!"
We caper with joy at the thought of the forthcoming existentialist toilet,
and are simultaneously reminded of the large amount of
Uzbek material still lurking in the Privy Counsel archives!
Readers are advised to hold on to their hats, as there
is severe fabulousness coming!
(For a similar amusing image, see A Festive Update.)
Image from StreetArtGermany.

This lovely bamboo bath comes from Tudor Friend, and rather reminds
us of another spiffing tub that came our way once!
Image from Guadua Bamboo.

This beaut was sent to us by Czech Mate, and introduced to us with the words,
"Behold, the from-within-illuminated wash basin from a Leeds buffet place"!
Are you feeling the warm and friendly karma emanating
from  the motion-sensor mixer tap? We are! Woof!

Finally, lest we get above ourselves: a simple but functional
bog from the Guild 45 Cinema in Seattle.
Loving the rough cement floor  and Tork bog-roll holder!
Image by Bogsley Hansson Friend.

Having enjoyed the crap out of this festive cavalcade, it is now time to sigh wistfully and get on with some rather high-falutin' and morally rigid Anglo-Saxon poetry. Wæs hæl!

Related Reading:
A Festive Update
Rock'n'Roll

Not a Picture of a Toilet, Not Even a Medieval One

There are ever so many lovely pictures of toilets lurking in the depths of the Privy Counsel archive, but we thought that, since we mentioned medieval toilets the other day, we'd show you a picture of one, or what we thought was a picture of one until we looked again. We came across this beauty COMPLETELY BY ACCIDENT, believe it or not. Actually, it's not a picture of a toilet at all, as our non-barbarian readers can no doubt tell at first glance, but to our sewer-trained mind it turned into one, the same way that songs that are completely not about toilets turn into Toilet Songs. (Maybe we need to start a new category? "Pictures that we deludedly believe are of toilets"?)

Totally not a 15th-century toilet. The weather, at least, appears topical: supposed
to represent February, it seems to us to correspond to that of April 2013.

Although this is probably not a picture of people sitting on the bog, but an illustration of people drying their clothes in front of a fire, as one is wont to do in February (or even April), it is still worth looking at. This lovely illustration is from a book called Moyen Age: Les Grands Auteurs Français du Programme (Lagarde, André and Laurent Michard, eds. Paris: Bordas, 1968).

Here's what the book looks like. It is colourful and agreeable in many ways.

Right. We're off to look for a picture of an actual medieval toilet now.

Related Reading:
Þorsteins Þáttr Skelks: Medieval Toilet Anecdote 
We Ponder Sewers and Medieval French
Danger, Danger: Medieval Toilets
Taking Our Baths and Our Women