Thursday, 28 June 2012

Robin Hood - Taking Aim at Crappy Plumbing

 Turns out what the people wanted was a Toilet Tale starring our favourite medieval guerrilla fighter, Robin Hood! We've been monkeying around with a new image-monkeying-around program, so apologies if standards are even lower than usual. (N.b. Robin Hood is represented by a toilet lid.)

Robin of Locksley - a healthy, muscular Saxon - returns from his adventures in the Crusades.
He's well fed up with Oriental toilets, and can't wait to get back to his own comfy crapper.

Imagine Robin's dismay when he finds, on his return, that the evil Sheriff of Nottingham - henchman of that bastard Norman, King John - has appropriated his house and installed inferior plumbing in all the bathrooms.
Robin is pretty bloody miffed, actually.

To add insult to injury, Robin has been outlawed, and has to go live in the woods with a group of dirty, unwashed peasants. Hygiene facilities are primitive, to say the least, and Robin suffers agonies.

As if that wasn't enough, Robin then falls in love with Lady Marian, a high-maintenance kind of girl
with a fondness for exfoliation and bubble baths. He can hardly drag her back to Sherwood Forest
to live in a rude hut without even the most basic mod cons, can he?

Robin (who's taken on the alias Robbin' Hood) and his band of smelly outlaws start doing good deeds. Among other things, they lighten the load of Norman aristocrats by carrying their heavy money purses for them. Once they have enough cash for a coup d'état, they get rid of King John and put the brave, muscular,
Saxon-friendly Richard the Lionheart back on the throne.

Robin and Marian are married in Sherwood Forest by Friar Tuck, and move into Robin's house, where they renovate all the bathrooms and install mixer taps. They then live happily ever after, and have long, hot baths
without ever scalding their feet. They have lots of awesome parties with King Richard.

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