Wednesday, 8 April 2015

Apparently There Was a "Best Norwegian Café" and "Best Latin Translation" Competition, and Here Are the Winners!

Woof! Once again we find ourselves absolutely overwhelmed by exuberantly wonderful photographs of toilets! The mood at Privy Counsel HQ is hazardously gleeful for a bog-standard Wednesday evening. Good things that have been happening this week are: festive hobnobbing with our favourite 96-year-old, ice-cream, and feminist t-shirts. Bad things include early mornings, and fire drills.

However, we have made a vow to try to include something heartening in every blog post. And actually, today we have not one but TWO heartening events to report! Surprisingly, both occurred at the supermarket, within minutes of each other.
First, an old lady gave us a tip-off about a secret free till further down, sparing us several minutes of mindless supermarket queueing, and, when we were collecting our shopping, a young boy picked up a valuable item, which we had dropped on the floor without noticing, and jolly well returned it to us! In a polite manner! Really, we sometimes have to restrain ourselves in order not to burst with surprised joy when people successfully act like civilised beings. (At this moment we are choosing to not start a rant about the way Scandiwegian people behave on trains.)

In order to celebrate the joy of life and the darling buds of spring bursting and sprouting forth from thickets and shrubberies throughout the length of the land or at least in the more clement-weathered parts, let's have a friendly picture from Scandiwegia! This will remind us of all the things we love about this area of the globe - namely, the heating, plumbing, and sanitation - and take our mind off the extensive train-related rudeness prevalent in the region.

We are taking this moment to introduce Audiologist Friend, who has actually, however, featured in a previous post - that one from last summer when we were staggeringly hungover. Audiologist Friend says, "På det här fiket dricks Norges bästa kaffe," which we are translating as "Slave, stop your harpsichord-playing this instant and show me the way to the vomitorium".

This is apparently the toilet in a café in Norway,
where you can get the best coffee in the entire country!
Does this, friends, remind us of something? But naturally! We are struck with happy memories from the best toilet in England, which happens, funnily enough, to be located in a café!  If you haven't been to Café Treff in Ambleside yet, then throw yourself on the first donkey cart bound for the Lake District! Hasten, hasten! Leave the children behind! Hang the cat! Get on that donkey cart and GO!

Since we're talking about things that are best in their respective categories, let us take a moment to appreciate the best ever translation. Our mum, being ever helpful, kind, and rampantly intellectual, helped us translate the infinitely useful phrase "From the idiocy of random dudes on the internet deliver us, O Lord" into Latin. Here it is, for your enjoyment. You're welcome.

A stultitia fortuitarum personarum simplicium in Interrete vagantes libera nos, Domine.

We find this phrase enormously satisfactory - to the point where we have to let out another Woof!

Because we're feeling red-hot and full of pizzazz, and because we just can't get enough of androcentric narratives that pander to heteronormative stereotypes, let's have this festive video:

Festive video - Ennio Morricone, A Gringo Like Me (performed by Peter Tevis)

Related Reading
The best toilet in England:
Café Treff, Ambleside: The Best Toilet in England!
The best toilet in Iceland:
A Splendid Christmas Present: The Best Toilet in Iceland!
Get more Clint Eastwood action (of the dirty kind) here:
Privy Counsel Pin-Up: Clint Eastwood, or, Black-and-White Baths, or, Dirty Men with Guns
Read more about androcentric narratives here:
Ten Things that Feminism Has Ruined for Me

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