Itinerant Tendencies

Recent far-from-unpleasant weather and intellectual strain make us inclined to wanderlust. As the man said, “We are much inclined to live from our rucksack, and let our trousers fray as they like”. Luckily for us, Australian Friend gathers no moss, and has been jet-setting about, kindly taking interesting pictures meanwhile!

Australian friend says: " I think this was Melbourne airport."
We do enjoy clear signage!

"That was the view of the toilet. The best part about it
was the yellow tiled wall. (Yellow brick wall?)"
Well, quite. Let us improvise!
Goodbye, yellow brick wall
Where the dogs of society howl
You can't plant us in your shithouse
We're going back to our blog

"This looks like a small sign but is actually a wall!
Changi Airport, Singapore."

As the other man said, "Not all who wander are lost". Or indeed, as Anne of Green Gables was wont to gabble, in bygone sentimental days, "When twilight drops her curtain down and pins it with a star, remember that you have a friend, though she may wander far".

Related Reading
Thai Toilet Chart
Toilet-Going for Dummies
A Fine Example of Practical Danish Design
Hygiene in the Fabled Orient

We Get on Our Soap Box and Rant for a Bit about Colonialism

We've been even more historically minded than usual recently, and have, in fact, had many clever and original thoughts on everything from the Berlin Conference to rubber ducks. However, we won't bother you with them; we've got much more intriguing material! What do colonisation, palm oil plantations and the drive to "civilise" the world's heathen savages have in common? Why, soap of course!
Stubbing our toes on some interesting vintage soap advertising, we thought we'd do a feature on this, for your edification and delight.

Rudyard Kipling published his poem The White Man's Burden in 1899.
It proved surprisingly useful for soap merchants, who used it
to imply that soap spreads civilisation. "Civilisation", in colonial-speak,
usually meant "sit tight while we take all your resources
and suck your country dry."
Image from wwnorton.

Caption says:
Pears' soap in the Soudan
Even if our invasion of the Soudan has done nothing else
it has at any rate left the Arab something to puzzle his fuzzy head over,
for the legend "Pears' soap is the best' inscribed in huge white
characters on the rock which marks the farthest point of our advance
towards Berber, will tax all the wits of the Dervishes of the desert
to translate." - Phil Robinson, war correspondent (in the Soudan)
of the Daily Telegraph in London, 1884.
Harrrumpf. Cucumber sandwich, anyone?
Image from ucsd.edu.

Caption says:
The birth of civilisation - a message from the sea.
"Consumption of soap is the measure of wealth, civilisation,
wealth, and purity of the people." - Liebig
Read Justus von Liebig's Familiar Letters on Chemistry here.
Interestingly, as well as having views on the civilising effects of soap,
von Liebig is also credited with being the father
of the fertiliser industry, meaning he paved the way
for unprecedented agricultural productivity and
a previously unimaginable increase in the human population.
Read more about it in this interesting book by Robert B. Marks.
Image from Ebay.

Caption says:
"I have found Pears' soap matchless for the hands and complexion."
Luckily, if you're thinkin' about my baby, it don't matter if you're black or white.
Image from kaufmann.

Soap ads verily took some very strange turns. This one is from 1899
and features a déshabillé witch on a broom, writing the name "Pears" in the sky.
We assume sales skyrocketed after this went public.
Image from sexywitch.wordpress.com.

An Australian man insists that Last Xmas I used Pears' soap.
Is this an early instance of choreplay?
Image from Museum Victoria.

Because hygiene and homoeroticism go so well together.
Not least of the pleasures of the game is the bath that follows it.
Hygeia lustily agrees!
Image from kaufmann.

Last but not least: Is your life plagued by drudgery?
Fear not - help is at hand!
(Just bloody well make sure you have a mixer tap, like this lucky woman.)
Image from vintageadbrowser.com.

Phew. That was quite a heavy post! Let's finish with an invigorating song!

Read more on the Victorian/Edwardian-era obsession with cleanliness in two of our favourite books, The Victorian House by Judith Flanders (read more about it here), and Chasing Dirt: The American Pursuit of Cleanliness, by Suellen Hoy.

Related Reading
Book Club: Cocoa and Corsets
Toilet Song: Soda Soap
Not Nearly Enough Monkey Business
The Privy Counsel Book Club: At Home
Victorian Servants Have Taken Over the Book Club

"Not As Much Use As a Toilet" - An Afternoon Off

Finally, an afternoon off! What to do, what to do? How about something fun! There's been some very intellectual content lately, what with all the archaeological finds, feminist musings and French vocab exercises, and so we thought we might take the afternoon off and have some pure, unadulterated fun! And what's funnier than Not the Nine o'Clock News? Well, blame it on our overworked, fell-off-the-chain-so-long-ago-we-can't-even-remember-what-it-was-like-being-on-it state if you will, but we can't think of anything. Funnier than Not the Nine o'Clock News, that is.  Hence, let us have - wait for it - an amusing video!

Festive video - Not the Nine O'Clock News, Not As Much Use As a Toilet

A friend who we might call, for want of a better pseudonym, Obsessive Emmerdale Fan Friend, recently lent us a couple of DVDs of Not..., and it has been most refreshing, as well as intellectually stimulating! A whole arsenal of hurrahs going off let, right and centre!

Let's have a funny picture as well! (In case of blockage.)

You can't have too much of a good thing! Well, that pretty much used up our entire stock of edifying and amusing reflections on toilets! Toodle-oo! (Or, as we like to say at Privy Counsel HQ, Toode-loo.)

A Metaphorical Vitamin Injection

Lots of people have been feeling under the weather recently, which is why we have taken it upon ourselves to cheer everyone up. We took a medium-sized jaunt to the National Museum of Copenhagen recently, with Intellectual Friend, which left us feeling refreshed and invigorated. We found the archaeological artefacts at least as interesting as the toilets, and so we're including photos of both! Consider this a concentrated dose of awesomeness! Danish toilets and hygiene-related archaeological finds: just what the doctor ordered!

The toilets at the National museum of Denmark.
We couldn't imagine better ones!

If there is such a thing as "bog-standard awesomeness", then this is it.

Paper towels and a hygienically covered toilet-roll holder!
This is where we collectively purr like a contented kitten:
Purr, purr, purr.

Lots of places seem to have a problem with paper towels
blocking up the plumbing.

Here's where it gets really exciting!
The metal objects are hygiene implements found in a Viking age grave.
The glass vessel indicates that the grave belongs to a person
of high social status. In other words, these are posh toilet articles!

Close-up of fabulous tools! Read more about Viking hygiene here.

There, does that feel better? We hope you're feeling rejuvenated and intellectually stimulated. In case you're not, though, here's a little gem from Twitter that made us chortle to no inconsiderable extent the other day:

"When life gets you down, try referring to something as a 'sweet-ass X', but move the hyphen along. Right now I'm enjoying a sweet ass-coffee."

Related Reading
Hanging Out with Hygeia at Glyptoteket
Quickly, Before We Sober Up: Icelandic Nostalgia
Tømmermænd at Café Jorden, or, Sleepless in Aarhus, or, Fear and Loathing in Jutland 
Feeling Single, Seeing Double: Sct. Clemens Brewery, Aarhus 
Blogging Something Rotten

We Contemplate How to Get Jake Gyllenhaal into a Ladies' Toilet

A greeting from Australian Friend today - "As seen in the ladies' toilets at Melbourne University library". We're posting this in all haste, in between our non-toilet-blogging duties, so we'll have to manage without an in-depth analysis. However, Australian Friend's pithy comment says it all, really (note the totally rad Aussie substitution of plural s for z):

Things have changed since the feminist dayz of my undergrad youth!

Graffiti reply says, "Well[,] I don't see how we're gonna
get Jake Gyllenhaal into a ladies' toilet[,] but ok..."

In order to cheer up our Australian friends, we'd like to point out that in our experience it's actually very easy to get a gentleman into a ladies' toilet. All it takes is liberal consumption of alcohol! If your selected gentleman proves reluctant, dangle a well-filled hipflask in front of him, and you're sorted. We don't have any experience with gentleman actors from Hollywood, but with ordinary mortals this method is well-documented.

Related Reading
Fan Takes Photo of Jake Gyllenhaal on the Toilet
Jake Gyllenhaal's Toilet Stalker
The Intellectual Streak Continues: Leeds University Library Bogs, or, Yorkshire Graffitti
The Berrick Saul Building at the University of York: Finally, a British Nod in the Direction of the 21st Century  
Let's Talk About Graffiti
Bykrogen: Rustic Cheer

In Which We Indulge in Poetry and Out-of-Context French Expressions

 We at the Privy Counsel have souls which are nothing if not overflowing with poetry. Spring has arrived at Privy counsel HQ, and birds are flapping and tooting, and flowers stretching lasciviously, all over the place. While out giving the Privy Counsel constitutions some refreshing exercise, gracing the lanes and alleys with our elegant forms in harmonious motion, we happened upon these handsome bird-cherry blossoms. Did they remind us of something? Did they ever! We think you'll agree that the colours match exactly those of the tasteful toilets below. We came across these agreeable facilities while enjoying some very rock'n'roll wedding festivities in France last year. (N.b. these are not the same toilets that Australian Friend broke.)

The scent of bird cherry is rather a favourite of ours

See what we mean about the colours? Un peu mon neveu!

Hubba!  Les bras nous en tombent!

La vache! Great, n'est-ce pas!

We won't bother you with trifles like points on a beautiful day like today (also we were very hungover at the point of use and remember very little of the experience except that we noted that there being soap was an advantage) - off you all go and cavort with the birds and the bees! Pas piqué des hannetons!

Related Reading
Trains, Sweat and Fears
Amie Australienne Va au Mariage, Casse Toilette
All Wedding Toilets

An Unbearably Exciting Outing

Due to our ever increasing eccentricity and incoherence, we've been stalking our friends at their places of work. Yes, we're that creepy. But, as we all know, the rewards of mindboggling creepiness are immense! We found these waycool retro Swedish toilets! We're not exactly sure where this is (one of the effects of increasing eccentricity and incoherence is the inability to remember where one is), but it's probably at some faculty of engineering or other. If it helps, you get the lift at the end of the corridor. The other one doesn't work. Wherever this place is , our excursion there was unbearably exciting! Check out all these old-school doors, taps and coat-hooks!

We do enjoy clear signage.

Phwoarrr, check out this old-school door handle!

Well, spank us with a rose-scented flannel
- one gets two different soaps to choose from!

A cantankerous old toilet blogger's heart skips a beat
at the sight of such a lovely toilet-roll holder
and such a lovely retro tap! Retro MIXER TAP, we hasten to point out!

The epitome of bog standard!

More straightforward signage, helpfully bilingual.
(The "not" underlined for extra clarity, we note with approval.)

A perfectly adequate coat-hook!

We're happy to note that the weather has improved somewhat
since we took these pictures.

We just had to sneak next door and snap
another exciting sink in the same place!
WOOF! CHECK OUT THAT TAP!

This retro door had us all a-flutter!

Well, wasn't that refreshing? Now, if you'll excuse us we have some more sneaking around and mindboggling creepiness to attend to.