Tuesday 26 February 2013

SISTERS STANDING UP FOR THEMSELVES

Phew. Here we were, feeling a bit sorry for ourselves for suffering from the vicious combination of a) being academically challenged and b) feeling shagged-out and sleep-deprived after the weekend's debauched shenanigans, when we received a most invigorating missive from a very dear friend of ours! Our most charming and intelligent female friend says (regular readers will be aware that we have mentioned the Shewee once or twice before):
I would like you to know that on the basis of your Shewee review on the bog blog, I have purchased a Shewee. It is awesome. I am so happy. I didn't even know these existed until I read about it on your site. You have changed my life for the better. [...] I was talking to a friend about it from Germany, and we decided to take control of our womanhood together. After a preliminary shower period, we purchased wet wipes, men's underwear (this was not effective) and 6 litres of water each and went on a road trip, the main purpose of which was to pee everywhere.
And that's what we did. It was fantastic. We peed on buildings, in a stream, into grates, on a monument, and off of a cliff. We did it standing beside each other, and circumspectly checked each other's Shewees out when the other wasn't looking.
Unfortunately, it was not 100% successful, but we were expecting that there be some problems at the beginning, and it improved. I guess it's not so good when you are drinking alcohol as well, we discovered later that evening.
Next time I go climbing, I'm taking it with me, and I will drink as much water as I like and not be nervous about finding a hidden corner anymore.

Sistahs standing up! Taking control of their womanhood!
Image from Egotripland
There is only one response that adequately describes one's feelings on receiving such a communication, and that is "WOW!!!" Do you feel spiritually and intellectually rejuvenated? We do!
Interestingly, right when we thought our friend's e-mail couldn't get any more fabulous, IT WENT AND GOT EVEN MORE FABULOUS!
There was also some breaking of the law involved, unfortunately. We went up a Celtic hill fort for the first pee. It took a lot longer to get there than we thought, so we had to go pretty bad once we made it to the top. Then we heard gunshots. It was a private hunting ground. Interestingly, instead of running away, we just moved away from the wooded bit until we couldn't hear the shots anymore. That's where we peed off the first time. Then we saw the "private property no trespassing" sign.

Sisters, take control! (Please note, the Privy Counsel in no way endorses breaking the law.)
Image from Shewee

Then guess what happened? HOLY SHIT IT JUST KEPT GETTING FABULOUSER AND FABULOUSER!
Then we went to this 10th-century church in Nether Wallop. On the way we foolishly stopped at the village pub and met the whole village, they were all there. They gave us directions to the church. After we peed everywhere and signed the book, we noticed the CCTV. In the chuch we made it up into the belltower, unfortunately the bells started ringing about 5 seconds after we got up there. I think we nearly died twice that day. But we peed everywhere, so it was a big success.
Image from Humourflare
Well, that's about as much unbridled joy as a bitter, partied-out toilet blogger can take in one evening! Readers, join the revolution! Get yourself a Shewee device, stride confidently out and urinate, then tell us all about it!
Also, stay tuned for the sequel: The Privy Counsellor Encourages Widespread Use of the Sheewee in Combination with Alcohol Consumption.

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