Preamble: Finding, If Not Yourself, Then the SEO Spam Efforts of the Populace
It is when you discover that you have three hundred un-curated comments on your angry toilet blog that you realise the terrifying speed at which life, the universe, and everything, is hurtling through the darkness. It is when you further realise that a full one per cent of these comments are genuine that you pour yourself another large gin and tonic and firmly resolve to, one day, display the most startling specimens in a gorgeous gallery of whimsy and waggishness. Reader, that day is today!
We have divided our magnificent examples of reader input into the categories "Ludicrous and misguided", "Unintentional humour", and "Actual genuine comments". In order to make this intellectual bog blog post intelligible we had to kill a few darlings, but we trust that the reader comments displayed will leave you with feelings of, if not delight, then at least apprehension bordering on curiosity, which might, if one were feeling generous, be approximating pleasure.
Ludicrous and Misguided
Ah. This no doubt charming and intelligent person has gone to the post Coming Soon: Celebrity Toilets, looked at the picture of Patsy and Edina from AbFab being even more bizarrely sozzled that usual, and concluded, on very shaky evidence, that the information provided is "interesting and useful". We would perhaps, however, in defence of both us and this anonymous commenter, argue that many of the actual Celebrity Toilet posts are rather delightful. (Especially the ones featuring the dusky beauty of Emmerdale fame!)
What can we do except agree? Once upon a time, in the halcyon days of 2013, we wrote a post entitled Jonny and a Public Toilet - A Treat for Single Ladies. It does what it says on the tin. "Cool" and "helpful" are two adjectives that we find singularly apt.
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| Jonny, in 2013, showing off one of his his many talents. |
Is "fellows" an honorific or a slur? We're buggered if we know. Either way, the post Fowl Play, Also Fowl Issues contains this immortal line of Semi-Intellectual Friend's:
Irony exists for a reason and that reason is to be slathered over everything spoken or written like grease on a fat man's belly when he's being thrown down a hill.
"Remarkable for people experience"? Indeed!
Unintentional Humour
Viking poo is inarguably exciting, whatever your background, age, or education level, and everyone, rich or poor; young or old; sane or barmy, should endeavour to get the dangle of it.
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| The Lloyds Bank coprolite from York: Well worth your time. |
Well. If you've read What the Yellow Rubbery Fuck: Stephen Fry Acts as Pin-Up Again! and you're eager for more information on intravenous cocaine, may we recommend A Christmas Mystery: The Mysterious Case of the Curse at Crapper Castle; or; Put a Lid on It; or; No Shit, Sherlock? A most elucidating post, if you're a Freudian.
Actual Genuine Comments
We've all had a woke phase, but we'd like to argue that, at the Privy Counsel, we are not prone to cancellations and dogmatic dictates, being rather in favour of an open and honest discussion, even on stances we disagree on (the exception being toilet roll orientation, for obvious reasons). Here is a comment that makes two good arguments in favour of designing toilet doors that don't go all the way down to the floor, in response to our post Springing a Leak. Personally we'd always favour the privacy argument, but we can see the merits of this line of reasoning, and thank Unknown for the constructive comment!
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| Subject of debate: The curious "Wild West Saloon"-like doors of the Vancouver Airport toilets. |
To be perfectly honest this might be sarcasm, but then again it might not; we're choosing to take it as a compliment.
We wrote a post called Dunnies Down Under, or, Everything You Do Is Futile, or, Self-Medicating with Car-Sickness Tablets Is Not Hip, featuring many delightful photos sent to us by Australian Friend - who wrote a comment! We would like to push back, to use a colloquialism, on this line of reasoning, however. You say "being under two duvets with a hot water bottle" like it's a bad thing?
Finally, a kind reader from Belgium has left this most helpful comment! Thank you, Jannes, for your kind words and splendid suggestion.
Would a bog blog post even be a bog blog post, without a picture of Jonny looking weirdly handsome in a toilet? We'll leave the question to the philosophers to hash out, and hasten to simply enjoy this vista:
If we were a Renaissance artist we'd name this composition something like Temptacionne Leadeth the Sinner to Hys Ruinne.
Thysse Hondle Ys Well Blinge.
Now let us forsooth have a merrie video!
Festive Video: Screamin Jay Hawkins, Constipation Blues.
Related Reading
Musings on time: Ten-Year Jubilee Extravaganza: A Decade of Enlightenment!
Coming Soon: Celebrity Toilets
All posts featuring celebrity toilets
Celebrity toilets belonging, specifically, to the dusky beauty of Emmerdale fame: Celebrity Toilet Premiere and Rejoice, for We Bring You Another Celebrity Crapper!
Jonny and a Public Toilet: A Treat for Single Ladies
All posts featuring Jonny
All posts featuring Semi-Intellectual Friend
What the Yellow Rubbery Fuck: Stephen Fry Acts as Pin-Up Again!
A Christmas Mystery: The Mysterious Case of the Curse at Crapper Castle; or; Put a Lid on It; or; No Shit, Sherlock
An elucidating post on Toilet-Roll Orientation
Whether You Want It Or Not: Super Summer Extravaganza
All posts featuring Australian Friend
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