We reported, in our last post, on Shewee Fiend Friend's distressing experience of being forced to comply with the diktat of ideological zealots. [Male person in Shewee Fiend Friend's life], having gone from not caring which way the toilet roll hangs, to becoming an over-orientation fanatic, is exhorting Shewee Fiend Friend to engage in a practice which to her eyes is misguided and wrong, with such force that she has "mostly given up and submit[ted] to [our] and his joint pressure".
While obviously exulting in this epic triumph of right over wrong; good over evil; over over under, we nonetheless feel some concern regarding Shewee Fiend Friend's human right to hang the bog roll any damn way she chooses. This led us to wonder whether Shewee Fiend Friend is, in fact, the greengrocer of the Privy Counsel bog blog.
Having gone through, like many people, what one might term a moderately woke phase (one of the more sinister manifestations of which was, apart from an increased propensity to indulge in humourless ranting, a bona fide crush on Justin Trudeau) some years ago, we came out the other end with a determination to read the kind of literature that we have had a nagging feeling, ever since high school, that we really should have read, but never got around to due to other concerns. For instance, we went back to 1984, enjoyed the SCUM Manifesto, and made the acquaintance of Václav Havel's greengrocer.
For readers who are perhaps slightly less intellectual than the desired ideal (we are absolutely looking at you, Semi-Intellectual Friend), the famous greengrocer appears in Havel's essay The Power of the Powerless. Havel writes:
The manager of a fruit-and-vegetable shop places in his window, among the onions and carrots, the slogan: "Workers of the world, unite!" Why does he do it? What is he trying to communicate to the world? Is he genuinely enthusiastic about the idea of unity among the workers of the world? Is his enthusiasm so great that he feels an irrepressible impulse to acquaint the public with his ideals? Has he really given more than a moment's thought to how such a unification might occur and what it would mean?
I think it can safely be assumed that the overwhelming majority of shopkeepers never think about the slogans they put in their windows, nor do they use them to express their real opinions. That poster was delivered to our greengrocer from the enterprise headquarters along with the onions and carrots. He put them all into the window simply because it has been done that way for years, because everyone does it, and because that is the way it has to be. If he were to refuse, there could be trouble. He could be reproached for not having the proper decoration in his window; someone might even accuse him of disloyalty. He does it because these things must be done if one is to get along in life. It is one of the thousands of details that guarantee him a relatively tranquil life "in harmony with society," as they say.
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| Here is a funny yet achingly intellectual meme that we made a couple of years ago. |
Ok I’ve finished reading it. It gets heavy towards the end. Basically you are suggesting I am a collaborator
In your own ideology! Which you think is morally just!
You are criticizing my collaboration of a system you believe in and have tried to convince me of! How do you, as the post totalitarian dictator, somehow get the moral high ground here??!!
Regarding the moral high ground we would argue, firstly, that we always had it. As we have stated before, categorically and determinedly, on the issue of toilet-roll orientation "there is only one possible position, morally as well as intellectually". Secondly, having conceded, on more than one occasion, most notably
perhaps regarding the Canadian prime minister but also on several other
points, some of which we can remember, to Shewee Fiend Friend that she
was right and we were wrong, perhaps we win the moral high ground on
this occasion by virtue of past humility, however haphazard and
accidental? Or perhaps it is simply the case that smugness will triumph. Whichever argument we employ, we doubt that Shewee Fiend Friend will agree.
Reader, it is hot, hot, hot out there, rather in the manner of Mr Rochester's bedroom. Jonny, that connoisseur of fine bathrooms, sent us this exquisite toilet selfie, which we would argue is on a par with the weather, in terms of hotness. Attached was this greeting:
You can't really tell but the shirt is waaaaay too big
Looks like the Homer Simpson moo moo
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| Moo-moo? Or just Mmmmmmm? |
This is all very well, we thought, but what in the name of arse is going on with the mirror? Jonny's theory was as follows:
Who knows? It was a Mediterranean restaurant so maybe it's normal?
When we suggested, in line with the current fashion for political correctness, that Jonny might be guilty of xenophobia, perhaps even mediterraneophobia, he retorted, quite reasonably:
I don't think so? Just my first time in a Mediterranean restaurant so statistically it's the norm.Another possibility, put to us by a reliable source, is that the mirror is a portal to hell. "And not the fun one." We are inclined to agree.
Finally, we are delighted to announce that Jonny has joined the proud Privy Counsel tradition of giving up on learning Greek.
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| Unfortunately for Jonny, of course, he only counts as a friend for administrative reasons. |
The obvious Festive Video for this post is the Swedish punk classic Sheiße (or, as the annoying diktat of the modern German grammar commissariat would have it, Sheisse) by Ebba Grön, which one might argue, someone pointed out to us recently, praises the beauty of free speech.
Festive Video: Ebba Grön, Sheiße
Related Reading
Our definitive post on hanging the bog roll the right way round: Rocking, Rolling, Ranting
On the distressing habits of a) energetic Proto-Indo-European movement and b) haphazard toilet roll placement: Moving Heaven and Earth: Polarisation and Proto-Indo-Europeans
Our passionate defence of Shewee Fiend Friend's right to be wrong: Echoes of Edgar Allan Poe
Shewee Fiend Friend's lugubrious lament about being forced to comply with the diktat of the Over-Orientation Illuminati: Losing, Then Finding, One's a) Shewee and b) Mind
All posts featuring Shewee Fiend Friend
Václav Havel's The Power of the Powerless
Maya Forstater, The Power of the Powerless
On learning Greek: "Oh for Shame, How the Mortals Put the Blame on Us Gods" - We Indulge in Melodrama
On Mr Rochester's bedroom: Jane Eyre - Plunging into Passion
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