Saturday, 8 January 2011

A Message from Your Privy Counsellor

Dear fellow toilet-obsessives,

The blog will be silent for a little while as we're going away, first on a small adventure, then on quite a big adventure that will take us to a land far, far away. However, fear not! We employ ceaseless toilet-related vigilance, and our efforts to bring you moderately amusing toilet information will continue to be unrelenting. What's more, our first adventure will take us to what we remember as the best toilet in England, and our second adventure likewise promises to provide a few bog-related eye-openers!

In the meantime, here's a quote from Absolutely Fabulous to keep you amused:

Eddie: Why do you have to pick on everything I do? Darling, all I want is a few little things, a few little pleasures, a few little crutches to help me get through life, darling.

Saffy: Get through? Mum, you've absolved yourself of responsibility. You live from self-induced crisis to self-induced crisis. Someone does your hair, someone chooses what you wear, someone does your brain, someone tells you what to eat, and, three times a week, someone sticks a hose up your bum and flushes it all out of you.

It's called colonic irrigation, darling. It's not to be sniffed at.

Saffy: Why can't you just go to the toilet like normal people?

Eddie: Is that what you really want me to be, darling? Normal? Some boring, old, normal, old toilet-goer, huh? Hmm? "Where's mummy?" "She's on the toilet." "But I want to go somewhere interesting and meet exciting people." "Well, she can't take you because she's on the bloody toilet." Well, anybody can go to the toilet, darling, these days.

Saffy: Well, they obviously haven't seen you drunk.

(From series 1, Episode 1, Fashion. Written by Jennifer Saunders.)

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