Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Pride and Prejudice and Plumbing

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a man in possession of a large amount of toilets
must be in want of a plunger. This was especially true of Mr Darcy,
who had constant troubles with the plumbing at his massive house Pemberley.
At their first meeting, at the assembly ball in Meryton, Elizabeth Bennet found Mr Darcy disagreeably proud,
and he found her irritatingly prejudiced. They were both right.
Mr Darcy's friend Mr Bingley fell in love with Elizabeth's sister Jane,
but didn't propose because Mr Darcy, that odious man, dissuaded him

Unfortunately, nobody dissuaded Elizabeth's and Jane's cousin, Mr Collins, from proposing to Elizabeth.
Luckily, he married her best friend instead.

All would have been well if the Bennet sisters hadn't suddenly had a massive attack of heartbreak,  moping and pining - Jane because Mr Bingley had buggered off to London, and Elizabeth because she realised that she fancied the pants off Mr Darcy (especially since seeing his beautiful grounds at Pemberley)

Luckily their stupid sister Lydia a this point decided to run away with Mr Wickham, who used to be Mr Darcy's best friend. Mr Darcy felt responsible for Mr Wickham's dastardly behaviour, and forced him to HTFU and marry Lydia,
thus escaping scandal and ruin for the Bennet family

All was now well, and they had a big double wedding and lived happily ever after. The plumbing worked splendidly,
and they always had an extra-large plunger sitting on a small occasional table, for emergencies.

Related Reading
Privy Counsel Pin-Up (with Colin Firth)
Lucy Worsley and Jane Austen: Historical Toilet Etiquette  
An Article on Regency Plumbing from the Jane Austen Centre

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