A Metaphorical Vitamin Injection

Lots of people have been feeling under the weather recently, which is why we have taken it upon ourselves to cheer everyone up. We took a medium-sized jaunt to the National Museum of Copenhagen recently, with Intellectual Friend, which left us feeling refreshed and invigorated. We found the archaeological artefacts at least as interesting as the toilets, and so we're including photos of both! Consider this a concentrated dose of awesomeness! Danish toilets and hygiene-related archaeological finds: just what the doctor ordered!

The toilets at the National museum of Denmark.
We couldn't imagine better ones!

If there is such a thing as "bog-standard awesomeness", then this is it.

Paper towels and a hygienically covered toilet-roll holder!
This is where we collectively purr like a contented kitten:
Purr, purr, purr.

Lots of places seem to have a problem with paper towels
blocking up the plumbing.

Here's where it gets really exciting!
The metal objects are hygiene implements found in a Viking age grave.
The glass vessel indicates that the grave belongs to a person
of high social status. In other words, these are posh toilet articles!

Close-up of fabulous tools! Read more about Viking hygiene here.

There, does that feel better? We hope you're feeling rejuvenated and intellectually stimulated. In case you're not, though, here's a little gem from Twitter that made us chortle to no inconsiderable extent the other day:

"When life gets you down, try referring to something as a 'sweet-ass X', but move the hyphen along. Right now I'm enjoying a sweet ass-coffee."

Related Reading
Hanging Out with Hygeia at Glyptoteket
Quickly, Before We Sober Up: Icelandic Nostalgia
Tømmermænd at Café Jorden, or, Sleepless in Aarhus, or, Fear and Loathing in Jutland 
Feeling Single, Seeing Double: Sct. Clemens Brewery, Aarhus 
Blogging Something Rotten

We Contemplate How to Get Jake Gyllenhaal into a Ladies' Toilet

A greeting from Australian Friend today - "As seen in the ladies' toilets at Melbourne University library". We're posting this in all haste, in between our non-toilet-blogging duties, so we'll have to manage without an in-depth analysis. However, Australian Friend's pithy comment says it all, really (note the totally rad Aussie substitution of plural s for z):

Things have changed since the feminist dayz of my undergrad youth!

Graffiti reply says, "Well[,] I don't see how we're gonna
get Jake Gyllenhaal into a ladies' toilet[,] but ok..."

In order to cheer up our Australian friends, we'd like to point out that in our experience it's actually very easy to get a gentleman into a ladies' toilet. All it takes is liberal consumption of alcohol! If your selected gentleman proves reluctant, dangle a well-filled hipflask in front of him, and you're sorted. We don't have any experience with gentleman actors from Hollywood, but with ordinary mortals this method is well-documented.

Related Reading
Fan Takes Photo of Jake Gyllenhaal on the Toilet
Jake Gyllenhaal's Toilet Stalker
The Intellectual Streak Continues: Leeds University Library Bogs, or, Yorkshire Graffitti
The Berrick Saul Building at the University of York: Finally, a British Nod in the Direction of the 21st Century  
Let's Talk About Graffiti
Bykrogen: Rustic Cheer

In Which We Indulge in Poetry and Out-of-Context French Expressions

 We at the Privy Counsel have souls which are nothing if not overflowing with poetry. Spring has arrived at Privy counsel HQ, and birds are flapping and tooting, and flowers stretching lasciviously, all over the place. While out giving the Privy Counsel constitutions some refreshing exercise, gracing the lanes and alleys with our elegant forms in harmonious motion, we happened upon these handsome bird-cherry blossoms. Did they remind us of something? Did they ever! We think you'll agree that the colours match exactly those of the tasteful toilets below. We came across these agreeable facilities while enjoying some very rock'n'roll wedding festivities in France last year. (N.b. these are not the same toilets that Australian Friend broke.)

The scent of bird cherry is rather a favourite of ours

See what we mean about the colours? Un peu mon neveu!

Hubba!  Les bras nous en tombent!

La vache! Great, n'est-ce pas!

We won't bother you with trifles like points on a beautiful day like today (also we were very hungover at the point of use and remember very little of the experience except that we noted that there being soap was an advantage) - off you all go and cavort with the birds and the bees! Pas piqué des hannetons!

Related Reading
Trains, Sweat and Fears
Amie Australienne Va au Mariage, Casse Toilette
All Wedding Toilets

An Unbearably Exciting Outing

Due to our ever increasing eccentricity and incoherence, we've been stalking our friends at their places of work. Yes, we're that creepy. But, as we all know, the rewards of mindboggling creepiness are immense! We found these waycool retro Swedish toilets! We're not exactly sure where this is (one of the effects of increasing eccentricity and incoherence is the inability to remember where one is), but it's probably at some faculty of engineering or other. If it helps, you get the lift at the end of the corridor. The other one doesn't work. Wherever this place is , our excursion there was unbearably exciting! Check out all these old-school doors, taps and coat-hooks!

We do enjoy clear signage.

Phwoarrr, check out this old-school door handle!

Well, spank us with a rose-scented flannel
- one gets two different soaps to choose from!

A cantankerous old toilet blogger's heart skips a beat
at the sight of such a lovely toilet-roll holder
and such a lovely retro tap! Retro MIXER TAP, we hasten to point out!

The epitome of bog standard!

More straightforward signage, helpfully bilingual.
(The "not" underlined for extra clarity, we note with approval.)

A perfectly adequate coat-hook!

We're happy to note that the weather has improved somewhat
since we took these pictures.

We just had to sneak next door and snap
another exciting sink in the same place!
WOOF! CHECK OUT THAT TAP!

This retro door had us all a-flutter!

Well, wasn't that refreshing? Now, if you'll excuse us we have some more sneaking around and mindboggling creepiness to attend to.

Those French People Are Crazy

Due to unresolved technical difficulties, the awesome post we've been trying to publish for the last few days isn't going to happen. We need to retreat, drink some rum and mull the matter over before launching a new offensive. However, we received a tip of a marvellous article on something called a uritonnoir! Is this a modern-day relative of the lavoire, you wonder? No, it is a type of compostable urinal! Our favourite smug newspaper, the Guardian, writes,

"'Are you used to going for a number one in the back of your garden?' asks French design studio Faltazi. 'Do not waste this valuable golden fluid by sprinkling on inappropriate surfaces!'
Their solution to the problem of peeing al fresco is l'Uritonnoir, a hybrid of a urinal ('urinoir' in French) and a funnel ('entonnoir') that plugs into a straw bale to make your very own urine upcycling factory.
As the bale is filled with your 'liquid gold', the nitrogen in the urine reacts with the carbon in the straw to begin the process of decomposition - forming a rich mound of composted humus within 6-12 months."

This gender bias is ridiculous. Ladies, get your shewees out!!
Image from the Guardian.

We enjoy this beer-to-urine-to-beer diagram.
Image from the Guardian.

The entire corps of Privy Counsel staff salivates at the thought of such an eco-friendly excuse to indulge in bacchanalia! We'd go so far as to encourage our readers to get one of these and do their duty for Mother Earth! This of course goes hand in hand with our previous exhortation for our female readers to use a Shewee while drunk.

Bacchanalia. Image from Wikipedia.

Related Reading
Sisters Standing Up for Themselves
Ladies, Don't Take Life Sitting Down
Far From the Madding Crowds: A Walker's Dilemma
Lavoire of Love
Dirty Little Secret: Toilets in Liberia as Reported by the Guardian

A Lovely Cavalcade of Photos

Ho-hum. Here we were, trying primarily to a) relax and CTFD, but getting increasingly anxious and resorting to b) getting some sodding work done, when we were, predictably, side-tracked by people sending us lovely photos. (We're not complaining!)
So, since it is, after all, Saturday night, let's get a little bit festive! Behold, a lovely cavalcade of photos!

German Friend offered this glimpse of things to come:
"A little preamble to the still missing existentialist toilet...
That theme seems to be all the rage in Deutschland!"
We caper with joy at the thought of the forthcoming existentialist toilet,
and are simultaneously reminded of the large amount of
Uzbek material still lurking in the Privy Counsel archives!
Readers are advised to hold on to their hats, as there
is severe fabulousness coming!
(For a similar amusing image, see A Festive Update.)
Image from StreetArtGermany.

This lovely bamboo bath comes from Tudor Friend, and rather reminds
us of another spiffing tub that came our way once!
Image from Guadua Bamboo.

This beaut was sent to us by Czech Mate, and introduced to us with the words,
"Behold, the from-within-illuminated wash basin from a Leeds buffet place"!
Are you feeling the warm and friendly karma emanating
from  the motion-sensor mixer tap? We are! Woof!

Finally, lest we get above ourselves: a simple but functional
bog from the Guild 45 Cinema in Seattle.
Loving the rough cement floor  and Tork bog-roll holder!
Image by Bogsley Hansson Friend.

Having enjoyed the crap out of this festive cavalcade, it is now time to sigh wistfully and get on with some rather high-falutin' and morally rigid Anglo-Saxon poetry. Wæs hæl!

Related Reading:
A Festive Update
Rock'n'Roll

Remembering to Breathe

Gaaah. It's so easy to get stressed beyond all reason, sense and comprehension. Things have been rather hectic at Privy Counsel HQ lately and, finding ourselves gabbling breathlessly on about dirty Indo-European poetry, we suddenly realised that we had allowed ourselves to get into what psychologists call "a state". It was time, we realised, to remember to breathe. What better place to do it in than an alpine glade or, if you're that way inclined, peak? Luckily a friend of ours, a keen dragon-hunter from the remote, mountainous parts of Europe, sent us a link to this lovely site just the other day. It's got pictures of toilets! In the Alps! Hurrah!

http://www.swissinfo.ch/eng/culture/Mountain_relief_the_art_of_alpine_lavatories.html?cid=35458616&rss=true

A bog with a fabulous view!
Image from Farm1.

If you, like us, aren't likely to get to an Alpine glade
any time soon, you can get one of these instead
to bring a fresh, yodelly breeze to your bathroom.
Image from Farm7.

Related Reading
On Her Majesty's Privy Service 
The Best Urinal View in the World?
Dizzying Heights of Toilet Perfection
A Black Run: The Best Wallpaper Ever
Alpine Escapism