Monday, 16 September 2013

PooPourri - The Paranoia Reaches Epic Levels

Strike us pink with a towel soaked in brandy, but we receive a lot of fizzling, gung-ho correspondence! Hark to our latest missive from Tudor Friend:
Someone posted this on Facebook and it wasn't you. Therefore, I had to send it! I haven't looked into whether or not it's real - I'll leave that to the intrepid Privy Counsel! - but it's almost funnier if it isn't.... If it's real, I'm mildly disturbed!
What could possibly have made Tudor Friend "mildly disturbed", you wonder, suspiciously. Why, this very, umm... Well. This advertisement.

Does one despair, even more than usual, at the state of humanity, when such a product is deemed necessary? One does. Also, one wonders what the hell it contains, and suspects that, like the various kinds of horrifying scented toilet paper, it ain't exactly planet-friendly. As regular readers are aware, we can get quite rampant on the subject of unnecessary chemicals (read previous rants here, here, and here). Having endured more science classes in our youth than is compatible with health and sanity, we had a shrewd suspicion that this concoction is oil-based, with some kind of scent to make it appeal to gullible proles. And we were probably more or less spot-on, at least according to the other paranoid nerds we consulted.

If Eau de Dairy Farm isn't your thing, help is at hand.
Image: Youtube.

We reckon that, if you were really anxious about smells emanating from the toilet, you could get yourself a spray-bottle with olive oil and maybe a few drops of lavender oil, and get much the same effect, but cheaper. Alternatively, you could adopt the approach of the grandfather of one of the Council's members, who claimed vehemently and memorably that "a shithouse should smell like a shithouse". We reckon that's as much sense as we're going to make out of this topic.

Oh, and by the way, it is a real product. Here's the website. You can follow it on Twitter and everything.

We're off to throw ourselves out the nearest window.

Related Reading
If You Enjoy Ludicrous and Unnecessary Products, Don't Forget to Get Your Andrex Shea-Butter Knickers
Roaring Good Roman Fun (because we find ourselves in danger of getting depressed, and fancied some fun and comparatively normal reading)
A Calamitous and Inflammatory Blend of Toilet Paper and History
Highlights from Our Correspondence
Ventilation: Getting Fresh? (about chemicals in air-fresheners)

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