Friday, 5 November 2010

More Dark, Dark Horrors: An Outwardly Reputable Employer with a Dark and Filthy Secret

Finding ourselves in an investigative and ever so slightly critical mood, we launch today into a review of another British workplace toilet (to protect the employees, we are keeping the name and location of the business a secret; suffice it to say that it is on the premises of a well-known and respected charity).

Well, at least it's clean

Starting with the toilet, it is clean.  The toilet roll is plain white.  There end our positive comments.  The flush is extremely hard to pull - should you suffer from any disability, don't bother visiting this particular toilet.  There is no bin, not even an unpleasant one.  However, that doesn't bother anyone; since the light doesn’t work, nobody can tell. For fear of frightening any small children who might be reading, we won't mention the peeling plaster on the walls.

Charities are notoriously stingy when it comes to their own staff

 There is a cold tap only, and the electric contraption that presumably provides hot water looks so dangerous that we don't dare touch it.  The soap is rather nice.

This monstrosity should hopefully join the "Monsters and Misfits" freakshow, a sideshow of the York Mystery Plays, in 2011

 We peeked into the kitchen, and noticed this fascinating excrescence.  We just couldn't help but be fascinated by its vileness.  It is called an Aquaboil, and presumably provides boiling water; a handwritten sign on its side warns the potential user, in the classical British fashion, that it provides very hot water.  We have been racking our brains and scratching our heads, trying to think of the difference between the Aquaboil and a kettle.  There is no other source of hot water in the kitchen.

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