Showing posts with label Sweet Sweet Vengeance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sweet Sweet Vengeance. Show all posts

Sunday, 24 August 2014

A Blog Post of Astonishing Clarity

As you may suspect, the Privy Counsel picture archive is a total fucking mess. (Read all about the pheasant situation here and here.) There is stuff that's been in there so long we can no longer identify it. Like pictures from German Friend labelled "New year's email", for instance. "What email?" we ask ourselves, squinting in the light of the guttering candle. "And, crucially," we further ponder, taking a quizzical swig from our hipflask, "from what year?"
These, dear friends, are questions that will most likely never be answered. We shall of course conduct a thorough investigation, to try to identify the festive toilet pictures from German Friend, who is one of the most faithful and dedicated toilet correspondents that the world has ever seen. But we might as well warn you now, before you get your hopes up, that the outcome is uncertain.

However, let's focus on something we do know! We know that toilet proprietors the world over are batshit crazy and commit nearly constant acts of idiocy, to the delight and amusement of everyone bent on observing hygienic facilities! Here is a delicious observation from German Friend:
Set Bologna - from a historic Italian university town where people have an on switch for water, but seem to have had trouble finding it in the past. Oh, and we knew it all along, Italians have style: a bog in a bar with a full free-standing wardrobe. nice.

Italians have a fondness for bog-related clarity, it seems - certainly there is not the slightest ambiguity about what this button is for! If you find this delightful and encouraging, read more in Finally! An Italian Train!.

Where has this coat-hanger been all our life?
We're off on a bit of an adventure, during which we shall certainly take copious amounts of toilet photos, which will then languish in our archive for the foreseeable future. Maybe we should have a bit of a philosophical quote, to fortify our spiritual strength before setting off? This one comes from H. P. Lovecraft, via Medievalist (with a Side Interest in Roman Archaeology) Friend:

From even the greatest of horrors irony is seldom absent.

Oh, and also there may be developments in the "everything is totally fucking fucked up all the fucking time" situation. Victory, and sweet, sweet vengeance, have not been ruled out.



Festive video - Miranda Lambert, Only Prettier

Related Reading
All the previous, gloriously festive posts from German Friend: 
German Friend Label
Finally! An Italian Train:
Finally! An Italian Train!
Another superb Italian toilet:
On Her Majesty's Privy Service
The word "aqueduct" comes, of course, from "aqua":
Let Us Wash, for the Germanic Hordes May Appear at Any Moment

Thursday, 22 November 2012

Konditori Hollandia: Sumptuous Luxury and Sweet Revenge Go So Well Together

Our faithful readers won't believe this, but Blogspot had the temerity to claim that we had used up our space quota for pictures, and wanted to charge us for using our own blog! Honestly! (For an example of our opinion on having to pay for things which are supposed to be free, read this.) Luckily we found a way around it. We are now celebrating with a veritable cornucopia of dazzling and sumptuous pictures. (In your face, Blogspot!) Many thanks to Logoped Friend for the tip, which went something like, "Oi! Did you know there are Versace tiles at Konditori Hollandia?" Beautifully enunciated, of course. (Yes, you heard right. Versace tiles. And there is an English term for "logoped", but it's so long we can never remember. All we know is, it's not "speech therapist".)

Voilà, here are pictures from Konditori Hollandia in Malmö.


One positively salivates at so much disability-friendly sumptuousness.

One simply couldn't ask for a better toilet.

From Villeroy & Boch: A mixer tap with bells on.

With bells on!


Oooh, sumptuous!

Soap and hand towels from Tork - hurrah! (More info on Tork here.)

It doesn't, so to speak, end there:
Bog roll and toilet seat sanitizer, also from Tork!

We love toilet seat sanitizers. We doubt very much that they contribute to actual hygiene,
but they do satisfy our OCD. Oh yes, they do.

The main event: the Versace tiles! Let's have a collective "Ooooooh"!

And again: "Ooooooh!"


A close-up. Ooooooh.

We weren't quite sure which tiles were supposed to be Versace at first,
so we took a photo of the floor tiles to be on the safe side.

Oh yeah, and the coat-hook was pretty great, too.
We give this toilet about a million points, at a conservative estimate.

Konditori Hollandia
Södra Förstadsgatan 8
Malmö
http://www.hollandia.se
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