Marsupials! Politeness! Hand Sanitizer!; or, Deconstructed Ranting; or, We're Fucked If We Can Find a Theme

It is important, in these dark times, to remember the things that bring light and joy: decent plumbing, handwashing, human rights, wine, babe parades. We reminisced recently, on our Facebook page, about that time when we realised that Father Ted is kind of a babe! The Jonny Babe Parade is obviously immensely fulfilling, but we reckon the more babes that are highlighted, the merrier!

The post in which we weirdly perv on poor Ted happens to contain an example of unwelcome creatures that infest Australian toilets. We are grateful that our friend Maureen took the opportunity of mentioning many more critters that lurk in the dunnies Down Under:

The Privy Counsel What a pity you forgot other unwanted guests in Australian toilets: frogs, gekkos, (little lizards with pads on their feet) snakes and cane toads appear with regularity in the north of Australia. As a young woman I shared toilets with many quokkas (marsupials) at Rottnest Island (just off the coast near Perth in Western Australia). Sadly for the quokkas, toilets moved inside the cottages where they can no longer go.

We never thought we'd find cause to regret the advent of indoor plumbing, but clearly a quokka would be a delightful companion to have in one's outhouse!

Speaking of outhouses, a very dear friend of ours was kind enough to take us along to this one, which is charmingly situated on an islet in lake Orsasjön.

How charming! And how reassuring to know that one can heed the call of nature in a hygienic manner when having one's barbecue in the middle of a lake.

On opening the door, one finds these beautiful prints featuring views of the lake.

How charming - everything you need! Except, wait. THERE IS NO HAND SANITIZER. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU NOT PUT HAND SANITIZER IN AN OUTHOUSE YOU ANIMALS???
(According to a reliable source, if hand sanitizer - which consists of at least 60 per cent alcohol - was left here it would be drunk by the people frequenting the bog quicker than you could say "twenty boozehounds on an island in the rain".)

All present and correct: It is traditional, in Sweden, to put pictures of the royal family in the outdoors bog (you can interpret this any way you want. Also, you can view more royal privy pictures here).

Another interesting bog we've come across recently is at the Falu Fängelse youth hostel in Falun. This friendly hostel, located in a 19th-century prison, offers cool (the walls are very thick), noise-insulated (the doors are very thick) rooms; a friendly atmosphere; and a museum in the basement! We've rarely come across a more festive lodging! The toilets are simple yet satisfying.

Plenty of reliable coat hooks.

A gratifyingly prison-like light fixture.

There is nothing lacking here.

We adore clear signage!

An old-fashioned Swedish mixer tap, good soap, and recycled paper towels. All thoroughly fulfilling.

Speaking of prisons we've had occasion to note, recently, that there are too many dudes out there being arseheads on Twitter. If you are guilty of having spent your time being insolent to, for example, a young woman who is fighting for her own life, and the lives of other people, we have one word for you: FUCKING WELL DESIST. Obviously all our readers are highly civilised and would never dream of doing such a thing, but nonetheless, we would like to take this opportunity to remind everyone of the importance of politeness. As Caitlin Moran so wisely says,

Being polite is possibly the greatest daily contribution everyone can make to life on Earth.

(How to Be a Woman, 2011)

All you achieve, when being deliberately rude, is revealing your own insecurity. You don't like immigrants / women having rights / amusing pictures of ducks? Fine. That's no reason to act boorishly to someone trying to help people in a difficult situation. Instead of sitting around on your arse on Twitter, get the fuck out there and do something constructive. Volunteer for a women's shelter. Help the neighbours paint the fence. Plant sunflowers. Get your tools out and build a bird house, or a beehive. LITERALLY ANYTHING. And when voicing your opinions, do so in a constructive and civilised manner.

Naturally, not everyone being abusive, online or in real life, is a man. Women are rude, too. But it is a statistically proven fact that most violent crimes and most acts of aggression are committed by men. And you need only do a quick scan of rude messages on Twitter to conclude that most of them are from males with apparently nothing better to do than shout abuse at strangers. If you don't like us saying that, fine. It's still true. Here are some facts to ponder before you start shouting, and/or beating your chest like a drum, causing chest-hair to fly in all directions (we hope you get the hoover out occasionally).

We found an amusing sticker on a bog-standard, half-arsed train toilet that said, simply, "Leif!" We thought it illustrated rather nicely the fact that not only most of the violence in this world, but also most of the urine on toilet seats, emanates from men. Most of you are all right - great, even - but dudes. As a sex, you've got some work to do. Leif! Whether that's your name or not! Fucking well remember to aim!

PLEASE. FUCKING WELL AIM.

During a trying and difficult time in our life recently, Shewee Fiend Friend, showing true solidarity and sisterhood, sent us this glittery toilet the minute she finished taking 1) the piss and 2) obvious delight in her rather vibrant schadenfreude. We are forever grateful.

Hurrah! A festive, glittery toilet seat!

THE SCREAMING BLOODY HORROR!!!!!!!

These are, to quote Shewee Fiend Friend's actual words, "Hideous taps in my [English] hotel room". The noise you heard just then was caused by the vast amount of air molecules that were displaced on us shuddering massively. (Note how these taps are eerily reminiscent of the ones in our Toilet Tale Terminator Toilet?)

In order not to lose our minds completely, what with all the fascism being dished out left, right, and centre, lets have not one but TWO Jonny Babe Parade toilet selfies! The first one was accompanied, fitting rather nicely into our earlier prison theme, by the words "Fighting criminals in the urinals":

"It's not who I am underneath, but what I do, that defines me" - let's bloody well hope, dudes, that what you are doing is not piddling on toilet seats!

On receiving the second picture, one fairly average Sunday at 00:03 am, we asked, reasonably we thought, what was in the many pictures on the wall. The reply the next day read, "Not sure. Was very drunk". You can't say fairer than that!

HUBBA HUBBA WOOF!

Today's Festive Video comes from a charming gentleman we happened to run into at the eminent musical event Orsayran. It's called "Kvinnor är smartast", which translates as "Women are the smartest". We are rather inclined to agree.

Festive Video: Sigge Hill, Kvinnor är smartast


Related Reading

Join us in weirdly perving on Father Ted: Theme: "Unwanted Guests". Also, A Surprising Pin-Up!

All posts featuring the semi-weird concept "Privy Counsel Pin-Ups"

Have a read of Maureen's evocative musings on her website

All posts featuring Jonny

Another toilet we enjoyed in the environs of Orsasjön: Stockholm Central Station: The Trauma Is So Great We Are Brought To Quoting Cicero

Another charming example of pictures of the royal family serving as toilet decorations: By the Sea - A Toilet Blogger's Holiday

All posts featuring Royal Toilets

A constructive rant from our friends at the Out of Lines blog: From Random Dudes on the Internet Deliver Us, O Lord

Ignorance is no excuse - check out the Feminism 101 site for information on all the many ways the world is fucked up!

All posts featuring Shewee Fiend Friend

Terminator Toilet 

Ketchup and Other Sauces, Real And Imaginary

We trust that all our readers are familiar with the ketchup effect, whereby a desired quantity of something fails to appear for a long time, only to overwhelm one in abundance when one least expects it. We won't go into tedious details of the various ways in which toilet pictures have landed in our archive. Let's just say that there is a scientific shit-ton of stuff.

We are writing this on a train, believe it or not, which is a lot less exciting than it sounds. There is for instance no whisky in our immediate vicinity. Nor are there balloons, or attractive film stars, or any of the other things one would expect to find on a train on which one is writing a post for a high-quality bog blog.

Those of you who follow us on social media will be aware that we suffered a terrible calamity the other week: we lost the wifi connection at Privy Counsel HQ for an entire week! Luckily it came back, but we have not quite recovered from the shock, and are still having to restrain ourselves from shaking our fists maniacally, and putting pencils up our nose.

Tudor Friend sent us a message saying:

To celebrate your return to wifi: have some toilet photos. I took them when I was at Kensington Palace for a lecture back in December.

And the last one, my favourite, the sign for the ladies'!

We actually received a postcard from Tudor Friend some time ago, which looked like this:

Kensington Palace with Victoria in all her glory, on her throne

The postcard read:

Dear favourite Privy Counsellor, 

I'm sat in the entry to Kensington, which smells beautifully of greenery and orange peels from holiday swag. As I cannot attach them to a postcard, photos must be sent later, but I've photographed the bogs here for you. 

Though Victoria's actual ass ne'er sat upon today's "thrones", one can still imagine bad plumbing, the stink of sewage and cholera (although the loos here are quite fiercely clean). On the down side - no hook for one's bag. But the bathrooms give you rooms, proper privacy, and they're big enough to swing the cat (right into the toilet bowl, where it belongs). And you know it's royal, because there is actual sanitizer available to clean the seat!!! 

Both the taps - MIXED!! - and soap are on sensors and require no touch. Victoria's home it may be - Victoria's era hygiene standards it is not!! Four and a half stars - down half a point for the hook and slight paint-shabbiness on the room doors. But the way they distinguish ladies' and gents' is pretty cute. 

 Woof! What a refreshing epistle! These toilets seem to reach a royal standard - though not quite the Privy Counsel standard, considering the lack of a coat hook.
And yes, Tudor Friend italicizes words when writing postcards - our friends are that awesome. (Read our thoughts on the word cute, by the way, here.)

Before we break to run a meat skewer through the annoying man opposite us speaking loudly on his phone, let us have a gander at this photo a friend sent us, featuring two of our favourite people in the entire world.

Why these people are allowed out unsupervised
is as much of a mystery to us as it is to you.

We've got a special festive video today, to celebrate our return to wifi and the imminent demise of men on trains with no appreciation of social codes regarding noise levels, or personal space: an Elvis cover featuring Pete Whitelock! Also known as Pistol Pete! A legend in York, and the world! 

Festive video - Pete Whitelock, One Night

Related Reading

Remember when Kate Middleton stayed in a hotel, that had a toilet?
All posts featuring Tudor Friend
All posts featuring cholera
The Cholera Babe Parade

More posts featuring experiences on trains:
Finally! An Italian Train!
Trains, Sweat, and Fears
Trainspotting

In Anticipation of a Royal Flush

You'd be surprised by how many postcards we receive at the Privy Counsel. When it comes to the more vulgar kinds of material possessions, we don't have much to hang on the Christmas tree, as the Swedes so charmingly put it, but in terms of postcards, we possess a fortune. An actual fortune! Kick-Arse Suffragette Friend sent us one just recently, of the historical-slash-salacious kind; a picture of a rampantly attractive Dakota Sioux by the name of Kicks Iron. We do enjoy our historical heroes and heroines at the Counsel!

Kicks Iron, a Dakota Sioux.
Photograph by Frank B. Fiske, ca 1905.

Then of course there's all the postcards from random weirdoes readers that clog up our postbox to the point where the postman is giving us dirty looks arrive with charming regularity.

This postcard, from a correspondent at Castle Howard, says:

To: The Privy Counsel

The Queen will be visiting the estate next month, and the lady of the house has asked me to contact you for some advice. (The household etiquette books were recently lost in a freak plumbing accident.) 

How is one to lay out the bathroom for a royal visit?  

How is one to offer the facilities to Her Majesty?  

Can one find loo roll that is superior to two-ply?  

And is it considered indiscreet, following the visit, to install a small plaque to state "the Queen peed here" for future generations to admire? 

Your discretion regarding the matter is appreciated.  

From: Private Secretary to Lady [name illegible - these aristos frequently suffer from hereditary syphilis, making their nervous systems unreliable and their pen-wielding limbs prone to tremors]

First of all, let us assure all our readers of our utter and complete discretion.

HEY EVERYONE! THE QUEEN IS COMING TO USE THE BOGS AT CASTLE HOWARD!

When it comes to laying out the loos for a royal visit, our experience is that ordinary cleanliness goes a long way. Scrub the bathroom thoroughly using eco-friendly products (stay clear of  bleach - you don't want the Queen getting her outfit stained then sniffing disapprovingly throughout her visit). Make sure the towels are clean, but don't use fabric softeners (apart from softeners being environmentally hostile, exaggerated softness causes bits of fluff to stick to one's skin which is annoying as hell). Avoid vulgar ornaments.

Googling the words "Which toilet roll does the Queen use" yields a surprisingly rich vein of internet lunacy. The least crazy comment on this subject that we encountered was "I think Andrex holds the royal warrant which would suggest that is the brand of choice for the royal bum". Then again, once the Queen is seated on your throne - belt off, trousers down - she doesn't have much of a choice, does she? We suggest you go for the most ecological alternative you can find. (Read one of our rants about toilet roll and ecological destruction here. Here's another one.) Also, of course, make sure you hang the toilet paper the right way round!

Regarding the royal visit toilet plaque, there are two schools of thought. The first, classic, school goes, "this is an unbearably vulgar and horrid practice and must cease immediately". Was it Josephine Tey who pointed out that if one is to believe all the stories of Tudor houses visited by Queen Elizabeth I, she must have made sleeping in other people's beds quite the hobby? (Then again, Tudor courts did travel more or less constantly. Maybe we should ask Tudor Friend to write us a guest blog post about this?) There is not, as far as we know, an outspoken tradition of putting up plaques commemorating royal toilet visits (though there is a rather festive anecdote about Henry VIII and a toilet in York), and so we suspect that the advice regarding them exists as a kind of sub-genre to the "Queen Bess slept here"-type plaques.
The second, more modern, school goes "take every opportunity of making your toilet a joyous, festive place - fucking go for it, babe!" We're rather inclined towards the more modern school of thought.

This is today's festive video, because it is simply a splendid song. The title does not correlate in any way to our current mental state, long-term memory, or employment prospects.

Festive video - Bruce Springsteen, I'm goin' down

Related Reading
Our last delightful postcard: Sober As a Judge
Our first ever postcard: We Receive a Postcard
This post is not the first, nor is it, we fear, the last, time we have made a cunning pun on the poker term "royal flush". German Friend was the first to make use of this delightful witticism: Royal Flush
How to choose an eco-friendly toilet roll (WWF)
A Thought-Provoking Blog About Cholera in Haiti

The Royal Toilet at Kronborg: "A Foul and Pestilent Congregation of Vapours."

Bunden i vejret eller resten i håret!*
We spent an utterly, utterly festive day in Denmark recently! We simply couldn't imagine a better-spent day; we devoted literally the whole day to photographing Danish toilets, checking out syphilis exhibits in museums, and drinking beer!
Actually, we've got UNBELIEVABLE amounts of photos of Danish toilets, so many that we literally don't know where to begin. But we reckon it's always safest, when one is dealing with people prone to OCD, to arrange things either alphabetically or chronologically.

Vil du tale lidt langsommere?**
Since the Danish language is fucked up beyond repair, however, we won't be able to do an alphabetical account of the toilets, and have therefore decided to start with the oldest toilets, at Kronborg Castle.

Hvor er toilettet?***
Turns out that Kronborg, which observant readers will recognise from Hamlet, is full to the brim of Danish toilets!

Mit luftpudefartøj er fyldt med ål!****

A throne fit for the King of Denmark!

For now, it's got a bucket in it (in case adventurous tourists take historical re-enactment a bit too literally?)...

...but back in the day, a clever construction ensured that the contents of the toilet ended
up in a brick cellar. We presume that "cellar emptier" (that is, gong scourer) was not an attractive career prospect
for the up-and-coming young castle employee.

A close-up of the brick cellar.

The charming view from the window!

There was also ventilation, thanks to this attractive hole in the ceiling! Hot damn!!

Here's a very festive painting from inside the museum!
We have no idea what's going on, but there's naked people, a lion, and a ship with Danish flags!

The cannons are pointing towards Sweden - traditionally, the great enemy.
Dannebrogen helpfully fell from the sky, in order to guide and protect the Danes, in Estonia in 1219.

Danes are prone to getting philosophical, especially after a couple of rounds of snaps.

* "Bottoms up or the rest in your hair" - only used with friends when very drunk.

** "Could you please speak slower?"

*** "Where's the toilet?"

**** "My hovercraft is full of eels."

Related Reading

Christian IV's toilet at Rosenborg Castle: Blogging Something Rotten

Even more royal Danish bogs: Waltzing around Amalienborg

Another 17th-century toilet: We Receive a Postcard

More castles: Christinehof - A Woman's Er, Bog Is Her, Er, Castle?

Henry VIII favoured brick toilets. Read about one of them in the Historic Toilet Tour of York

More historical toilets: Historical Toilets, Baths and Kitchens - a Useful and Humbling Lesson
More musings on the Danish language: Tømmermænd at Café Jorden, or, Sleepless in Aarhus, or, Fear and Loathing in Jutland

Highlights from Our Correspondence

We are blessed with having many friends here at the Privy Counsel, and said friends every now and then dispatch exuberant missives to us, to our (and your) great delight and edification. Obsessive Emmerdale Fan Friend, for instance, sent us the article about the woman suffering from a fear toilet rolls, which we tweeted hilariously about from our extraordinarily informative and witty Twitter account. The same friend also sent us the amusing article about Swedish politicians ordering men to wee sitting down, citing, apart from reasons of hygiene and prostate health, the argument that this will lead to a better sex life. Obsessive Emmerdale Fan Friend says, on this subject:

Hmm, but the thing is a lot of toilet seats in men's toilets you wouldn't want to sit down on (covered in wee, pubic hair and god knows what else!). Although Sweden's toilets are a LOT better than UK ones generally for this so maybe I can start a revolution. Really intrigued to see how it improves one's sex life! Prostate I can sort of believe but, unless you're having sex whilst peeing, I have no idea how this would be achieved!

And, on the topic of toilet roll phobia:

Digital Spy is what I use for all my Emmerdale gossip!!! The "odd news" section this article is in seems particularly addictive though - see the related article for the lady scared of uncovered toilet rolls! I thought of you!

[After we insisted on being a) not a lady, and b) not scared of uncovered toilet rolls, more wary:]

Yes, I meant not that you were like said lady but that you could probably identify with her on some level. I can see the Metro headline now: "[The Privy Counsel] troubled but NOT SCARED by uncovered toilet rolls!"

Bog rolls can be scary for many reasons.
Image from callprobest.com.

We have received similar communications from Semi-Intellectual Friend. It turns out that when it comes to toilets, Prince Charles... But it is almost too perverse to repeat. You'd better have a read yourselves, in this article from Wales Online.

The same, famously semi-intellectual, friend also sent us, in a fit of generosity we still haven't quite figured out how to handle the diplomatic repercussions of, a link to a video with most laudable sentiments about toilet roll. Watch from 20:33:

Festive video: Room 101 S13E08 HD

We couldn't agree more! Everyone knows there's a right way and a wrong way to hang toilet roll!

Related Reading

Previous Obsessive Emmerdale Fan Friend Posts

Previous Semi-Intellectual Friend Posts
More Royal Toilet News (We know you want it!)

Posts Related to OCD

Toilet Hurling: The Sport of Kings

It really is lucky that our friends read the - for want of a better word - news. Otherwise we wouldn't know the following fascinating information about Crown Prince Willem-Alexander of the Netherlands. Now that we do, however, we are of course - for want of a better word - thrilled. Semi-Intellectual Friend alerted us to this BBC article:

The heir to the Dutch throne made a media splash by hurling a toilet for fun in a contest recently - but has now spoken of his shame.

Crown Prince Willem-Alexander said the event on Queen's Day last month was "a laugh", but he also felt "shame at the thought of some 2.6 billion people around the world" who lack toilets.
He won a cup with a little toilet on top as a prize.
The 30 April festivities were held in the eastern village of Rhenen.
The crown prince's younger brother Prince Constantijn also hurled a toilet in the contest, but not as far.
The annual festival marks the birthday of Queen Beatrix's late mother Queen Juliana.
The crown prince is also chairman of the UN's water and sanitation advisory board (UNSGAB) and the Dutch government's information service later insisted that he was not ashamed of his involvement in the contest.
He had taken part because the toilets were destined for a project in Gambia, it said.

Woof. The athletic Crown Prince hurling, not into the toilet, but a toilet.
(Struggling to get our heads round that one.) Image from Huffingtonpost

 The news of Queen Beatrix's abdication will, of course, mean that the toilet-hurling Crown Prince will soon become King of the Netherlands, a task which we imagine will be slightly less exciting than that of being King of Louisiana. The Queen of the United Kingdom reported on the abdication with her customary vim and stiff-upper-lipness:

"Text from Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands: 'Bollocks to it, I'm abdicating'. No staying power, these European Queens."

Read more official news on the abdication here.

Related Reading
All posts about Royal Toilets
Posts highlighting sanitation issues in the developing world:
A Morally Improving Story for World Toilet Day
We Receive a Postcard
Taking a Gander at Greatness
Toilet Song: Soda Soap

Blogging Something Rotten

Phew! What a week it's been! You must be fed up with staring at Eminem's face (or rather arse) from the last post, a whole week ago! We've got good news for you, though. It seems everyone's favourite toilet country, Denmark, has discovered the Privy Counsel! Those great Danes have, according to our readership statistics, spent the last few weeks doing very little else but reading your darling toilet blog! So we thought we'd reward them with a feature on a historical toilet from their own dear country. Voilà, here's Christian IV's toilet from Rosenborg Castle!

Christian IV's toilet. Image from Free City Guides

According to dkks.dk,

This room, formerly known as “The Secret", is the lowest of three toilets, each with its own disposal chute. Originally it had a door in the wall to the left leading to the bathroom (where the Garden Room is now situated).

There was a water cistern in the room used for flushing. The drain led to the moat which surrounds the Palace. During drier periods it was difficult to get water circulation into the moat, resulting in an unpleasant smell from below.

The stucco ceiling dates from the time of Christian IV and was probably made by Valentin Dresler. The blue and white tiles on the walls were put up in connection with Frederik IV's refurbishing of Rosenborg in 1705. The original tiles were Dutch and were delivered in 1706; some of them are still on the walls. Later – in the 19th century – they were supplemented with tiles originally made in 1736, in a factory in Store Kongensgade in Copenhagen for the "Dutch Kitchen" in the Hermitage Palace.

Christian IV, as Australian Friend knows, was a busy man. Not only did he have toilets installed, he founded cities and pawned royal jewellery left, right and centre, too!

Close-up of the beautiful Dutch-made tiles. Image from Our Travel Pics

Australian Friend spent a memorable day investigating the ins and outs of Rosenborg Castle, in the company of friends.

HONK IF YOU LIKE ROYAL TOILETS!

Further Reading:
We Receive a Postcard
Waltzing around Amalienborg
Sing If you're Glad to Be a Dane
Cowering in Copenhagen
On the Tiles
Christinehof: A Woman's Er, Bog Is Her, Er, Castle?

Waltzing around Amalienborg

As far as we know, everyone loves Denmark. Especially Australians. Australian Friend was very excited by a visit to the Amalienborg Palace Museum in Copenhagen - after all, Crown Princess Mary is from Tasmania! (Read more about Crown Princess Mary here.) Our call at Amalienborg didn't include any proposals of marriage from members of the royal family (this time), but we did find time to check out the excellent toilets, in between admiring Queen Margrethe's fabulous dresses and harassing the royal guard.

Amalienborg palace and the royal guard. Just so you know, you're not allowed
to go closer than one metre to the strapping young men, however cute the hats. Image from Dkibenelux

Amalienborg Palace Museum: clean, functional and hygienic

Relax, everyone - there is absolutely no danger of running out of toilet paper!

We like everything. Except the uncovered rolls of tissue stacked on the floor.
Credit for the amount of spare bog roll, though - respect!

We love this

And this: ventilation!

This royal toilet is a ten-pointer!

Further reading:
Sing If You're Glad to Be a Dane
If you enjoy reading about jewellery, whether royal or not, we recommend the author Nina Hald:
http://www.gyldendal.dk/forfattere/nina-hald

More royal reading:
Gärdslösa: Runes and Royalty
By the Sea - A Toilet Blogger's Holiday
Imperial Aspirations: The Chiewitz Outdoor Privy in Espoo
Statistical Musings



Amalienborgmuseet | Christian VIII's Palæ | 1257 København K
http://dkks.dk/the-amalienborg-museum-2

Gärdslösa: Runes and Royalty

It's time for some culture. We don't know about you, but after yesterday's frivolous post we at the Privy Counsel yearn for some intellectual content. Let's get medieval!
We happened to visit the church of Gärdslösa on Öland, an island off the east coast of Sweden.  Gärdslösa is the best preserved medieval church on Öland, and boasts possession of two runic inscriptions. One is on the wall near the door, and reads, "Jón/Jónn has crafted" (read all about it at the University of Aberdeen's Scaldic Poetry Project site).  The other is on a fragmented stone, and says, teasingly, "Gunnbjǫrn and Sveinn ... and Jóhan ... Thorkell(?), their very(?) good father, ... Oddvarr(?) carved the runes ... stone ... " (details here or, if you're so inclined, here).

The runes that Jón carved. Image from Schleugerhard.

Gärdslösa Church. Image from Wikipedia.

Now for the toilets. Gärdslösa Church generously provides hygiene facilities in a charming little building in a corner of the graveyard. The whole ensemble is exceptionally neat and charming, if slightly '70s in design.

Note the wheelchair ramp: disability-friendly as well as decorative!

The soap smelled extremely nice

Disability-friendly and clean

Funky seventies tile-lookalike linoleum

To continue the royalist content of a previous post (we're telling you this because we know you secretly love royalty), we may mention in passing that Margaretha, sister of the King of Sweden, Carl XVI Gustaf, was married in Gärdslösa. Wikipedia, informative as ever, tells us that Margaretha is number 196 in the British royal succession. We imagine her sitting at home in a  dark room, dabbling in voodoo to set off a plague epidemic. As another aside, here's a charming rendition of a song mentioning the King of Sweden:

Festive video: Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry, Minnie the Moocher

Related Reading
Some of our favourite royal-themed posts:
By the Sea - A Toilet Blogger's Holiday
Toilet Hurling - the Sport of Kings
The Royal toilet at Kronborg - "A Fould and Pestilent Congregation of Vapours"
Blogging Something Rotten
Waltzing Around Amalienborg