Good Deeds Galore! Oxfam Unwrapped: Build a Bog

Today we find an excuse to start with our favourite Bridget Jones quote:

Dread the exchange of presents with friends as, unlike with the family, there is no way of knowing who is and isn’t going to give and whether gifts should be tokens of affection or proper presents, so all becomes like hideous exchange of sealed bids.  Two years ago I bought Magda lovely Dinny Hall earrings, rendering her embarrassed and miserable because she hadn’t bought me anything.  Last year, therefore, I didn’t get her anything and she bought me an expensive bottle of Coco Chanel.  This year I bought her a big bottle of Saffron Oil with Champagne and a distressed wire soap dish, and she went into a complete grump muttering obvious lies about not having done her Christmas shopping yet.

(Bridget Jones’s Diary, Fielding 1996, 293)

It has recently come to our attention that there are worse privations in life than having to use a toilet with a cumbersome horizontal lever flush, or opening doors with your elbow to avoid touching door handles after the OCD voices in your head have made you wash your hands three times.  These privations, our sources tell us, include not having a toilet at all, or not having clean water to drink, never mind wash your hands with.  Luckily, however, there are clever people working night and day to overcome these privations, building toilets and doing good deeds left, right and centre!  And not only do these good and clever people build toilets, they can also help you reduce stress this Christmas!

If you're struggling to think of what to give loved ones for Christmas, Oxfam will sort it for you!  Buy their “Build a Bog” card (£50), and someone you love gets a lovely card and a warm fuzzy feeling inside, and a toilet-deprived person receives a toilet!  How's that for multitasking!  If your finances don't quite stretch to building a bog, the Oxfam Unwrapped gifts give you many other options, for instance “Safe Water” (£9), “Hygiene Kit” (£14),  “Rainwater Collection” (£18), and “Fix a Well” (£22). We are all guilty of buying presents just for the sake of it, thus perpetuating the guilt-fuelled cycle of giving away unwanted presents. This wastes energy and increases landfill. But with Oxfam Unwrapped, you don't generate any plastic!

Isn't it fantastic!  You can now stop worrying about Christmas presents, and instead walk around with that smug, serene feeling of having done a good deed!  So practise your Princess Diana smile, give a friend a lovely card and a warm feeling inside, and give Hygeia, the goddess of health, sanitation and hygiene, a helping hand!

Build a Bog: http://www.oxfam.org.uk/shop/oxfam-unwrapped-diy/OU5008WS

Oxfam unwrapped: http://www.oxfam.org.uk/shop/oxfam-unwrapped

Also, remember that Friday is World Toilet Day! For more information, and a luscious quote by Stephen Fry, see the Wateraid website: http://www.wateraid.org/uk/get_involved/world_toilet_day/default.asp

Christmas is coming, but there's no need to panic!

Bridget Jones quote:

Fielding, Helen. Bridget Jones’s Diary. London: Picador, 1996.

Public Toilets, St Leonard's Place (Exhibition Square), York

 What goes up must come down.  After the dizzying heights and rarefied air of the Hotel D’Angleterre, we nosedive in to the damp, dark hole that contains the council-run public toilets in York.  These toilets are encompassed within the emblematic city walls, attract a lot of tourists, and should by rights be clean and pleasant, giving the visitor an overall positive impression of the city.   Instead, they are scary and unwholesome.

We remember these toilets, from a previous visit, as being a rather decent.  However, on our recent visit, the door was locked, and the only toilet available was what appears to have been intended as the disabled toilet.

A glimpse of the toilets through the locked door

  The first thing we notice is that there is no lock on the door.  Not an auspicious beginning.  The toilet itself is made of stainless steel, which we don't mind, being a hygienic material.  The loo roll is covered.  That's about all we have to say on a positive note.

Though we don't dare use the toilet, on account of the inexplicable lack of a lock on the door, we wash our hands vigorously, even obsessively, suspecting these facilities of harbouring, if not actually cholera, at least quite a few unpleasant microbes. 

Push the button for a few drops of cold water

There is plenty of soap, but only a miserly trickle of cold water, and the whole thing is unbearably grim.  We whip out our antibacterial wipes, and wash our hands of the whole thing.

Points: 0/15

Dejligt in Copenhagen

Today we crave sophistication, and so turn our noses towards Copenhagen, that jewel of Scandinavian pleasantness!  We had a peek at the toilets in the Hotel D’Angleterre, at Kongens Nytorv.
 

This luxurious hotel offers the visitor clean and fragrant facilities. The loo roll, although not covered, is plain white.  The taps are of course mixer taps, though they don't have levers.  The soap which, as would be expected, is luxurious and smells almost ridiculously pleasant, comes from a well-filled dispenser.

There are no air dryers, but instead good paper towels and also facial serviettes, lending distinction to the washing facilities.

There is a comfortable chaise-longue for the weary toilet-goer to have a rest on, and luscious flowers in vases – truly plush!

Unfortunately it was not possible to bring you photos of these posh toilets, but to enjoy lovely photos of the Hotel D'Angleterre, visit their website (don't forget to check out the distinguished Hall of Fame!): http://www.dangleterre.com/?IDX=185&/Art%20of%20Discretion.html

Sign pointing to an unrelated Copenhagen toilet

Points: 9/15


Hotel D'Angleterre
34, Kongens Nytorv
1050 Copenhagen K
Denmark
Tel: +45 3312 0095
Fax. +45 3312 1118
Email: hotel@dangleterre.dk

SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN: World Toilet Day 19 November

Despite the mixer tap at the City Art Gallery, those dark moments have been pretty damn opaque lately.  However, it has come to our attention that Friday the 19th of November is World Toilet Day!  Can you contain your excitement?  We can.  Just.

The clever people who have invented this exciting day are Wateraid - apparently, there are people who have no toilets at all, and thus suffer more than we do, from having to use crap ones.

Here are some facts to improve your mind:

2.6 billion people do not have somewhere safe, private or hygienic to go to the toilet.

The simple act of washing hands with soap and water after going to the toilet can reduce diarrhoeal diseases by over 40%.
Anyone REALLY concerned about such matters should pop along to Oxfam Micklegate and buy one of their wonderful "unwrapped" gifts....specifically the "build a bog" one, as it is clearly the most appropriate!

Check out some more wild facts at the Wateraid website: http://www.wateraid.org/uk/get_involved/world_toilet_day/default.asp

 It's even got a quote by Stephen Fry!  This has certainly brightened our day.

HONK IF YOU LIKE TOILET DAY! (Monkey does).

York City Art Gallery

Life has its dark moments, but every now and then we are afforded a glimpse of light.  We had one the other day, when visiting the York City Art Gallery café.  Not only is the café quite, quite scrumptious, offering a view of the Minster, which is quite delicious in summer, when one can sit outside in the sunshine (should there happen to be any), but the toilets are really quite decent.

The facilities are clean with white, covered loo roll.  It is of the “lots of tiny little squares” variety, which is probably good for the environment, counteracting wasteful toilet-roll usage.  The bin is not unpleasantly close, and the coat-hanger is excellent.  So far so good.

Now it gets really exciting: there is a mixer tap!  And the water is pleasantly warm!  And the soap smells nice!   

The advantages end there; there is an air dryer only, and, the building being old, there is no ventilation to speak of, leading to a certain whiffyness of atmosphere.  Also, the doors were not built with noise insulation in mind, with the result that one can hear old ladies breathing outside.  Not very pleasant. It is not possible to exit without touching multiple door handles.

Points: 8/15

St Christopher's Place, London

We regret that no picture of this toilet is available; however, here's an interesting one of a pulp mill. Believe us when we say it smells much worse than any toilet.

St Christopher's place is a relatively pleasant oasis in the middle of London, just off Oxford Street.  It boasts, apart from suit-filled restaurants and chic boutiques, some pretty good public toilets.We sought relief there one winter's day.

The toilets were clean and smelled pleasantly of disinfectant.  The toilet roll was a depressing pink colour, but at least it didn't have the texture of greaseproof paper.  The flush was of the horizontal lever variety, and averagely hard to pull.  The bin was covered, and not squashing against the thighs.

The taps were separate, but for some weird and wonderful reason, the water was pleasantly warm, not scalding, in the hot tap.  We suspected that this was due to the cold weather cooling the water in the non-insulated pipes, and we were right! Returning a couple of hours later, the water was the more traditional, scalding, temperature.  The soap was pleasant, but there were only air-dryers; not what the hygienically-minded toilet reviewer desires when in miasma-filled central London.

Points: 3/15

Linguistic Musings (Shit-related)

We are indebted to Kenneth Cameron for these musings on place names:

[...] Similar changes are sometimes found in names which have, or are thought to have, improper meanings.  Shatterford (Wo) means “ford over the Shitter”, Shitter being a river-name meaning “stream used as sewer or privy”, the basis of which is the word shite, shit “dung”.  It is clear, therefore, that at some stage the association of the name with the word was considered improper, and the offending element was duly changed (26).

Source: Cameron, Kenneth. English Place names. London: B. T. Batsford Ltd, 1961.

Fishing in Shatterford. Image from Gofishing