Thursday, 16 October 2014

Stark Raving Nudity

Having suffered various traumas* recently, it is with unbridled joy that we sit down to compose a post for our beloved bog blog. What's more, we sit down to compose a post for our beloved bog blog in the smug confidence of having been informed that Halloween is nearly upon us, thereby eliminating the risk of us suddenly waking up, panicked and hungover, and realising that we need to produce a Halloween special THIS MINUTE OR IT WILL BE TOO LATE TO JUMP ON THE COMMERCIALISED CULTURAL BANDWAGON. (Like happened last year, for instance, and the year before that, and... You get the gist.) Rest assured, dear readers, that we have the Halloween special post thing totally in hand! It is not, however, today's post.

Today is all about Greek nudity. We have discussed, on several occasions, with Shewee Fiend Friend, what a rampant shame it is that male nudity is almost obsolete in popular culture. The female body is sexualised and displayed in all sorts of contexts, but when does one get to perv over a tasteful male nude? Despicably seldom, that's when! The Victorians were all over the male nude, erecting statues left, right, and centre, but the taste for that sort of thing seems regrettably to have gone the way of the lace doily, the aspidistra, and macassar oil.

Contemplating, one fine afternoon, a statue of the Dying Gaul, we and Shewee Fiend Friend agreed that there should totally be more male nudity everywhere! Greece is a good place for enjoying statues of people being comfortably minimalist in their approach to clothing, although there are museums around the world that cater to the nudity-inclined. Glyptoteket in Copenhagen is a favourite one of ours, though there is of course no pleasure like going to the original source - the National Archaeological Museum in Athens! This museum really is a wonderful, wonderful place, filled to bursting with so many, many of the kinds of things that we at the Counsel like to perv on most - Bronze Age swords, gold funeral masks, urns, loom weights and, above all, statues of naked Greeks!

The staff, also, are nothing short of heroic. We rolled up at the Archaeological Museum one afternoon in July, having spent the morning at the Ancient Agora Museum, and carrying the sweatiest rucksack in the whole history of mankind. Seriously. It looked like it had been for a swim in the Aegean Sea. It was heavy. It was dirty. It was, basically, the rucksack of someone who's been going round for several hours doing nothing but perving on Greek statues, and sweating. It was very unpleasant. The lady in charge of the cloakroom didn't even blink. She gave us the sweetest smile, and accepted the rucksack without grumbling! (For another example of kind and friendly Greeks in public service, see Beware of Greeks Bearing Gifts, But Totally Trust the Toilet Attendant.) We were immensely grateful to not be thrown out for being sweaty, uncouth barbarians!

So, after this wordy and learned preamble, let's have some Greek nudity! (Again, some pictures may be slightly sideways. Remember, please, that looking at sideways pictures is a valuable lesson in creative thinking.)

*Traumas were, in no particular order, grammar-, earwig-, and misogyny-related.

Ha! This handsome and hygienically-minded dude is wielding a strigil!

Dogs, strigils and naked Greeks are some of our favourite things!

HUNKA HUNKA! Seriously. We can't get enough of this dude.
(The camera is probably there for a reason. Wouldn't surprise us in the slightest 

if people tried to snog the delicious statues, if left unattended.)

The toilets in the National Archaeological Museum were considerably less fabulous than the rest of the museum, but considering the very high levels of fabulousness being maintained by said museum, perhaps we will forgive them.

A depressing toilet WITH NO FUCKING SEAT, but there's a very festive flush pedal on the floor!
(For more toilets with no seat, see There Is Too Much Going On. This Post Will Probably Give You a Migraine.)

No complaints regarding the handle or lock.

This coat hook is not the kind you rave over, dream of, and take home to meet your mother, perhaps,
but as coat hooks go, it is perfectly okay.

We really, really, really like this toilet-roll holder, the Tork Smart One. Read more about it here.

This is a wall-mounted flush mechanism - turns out the  flush pedal on the floor was a fake! A FAKE!

Here is an unrelated picture of Exuberant Archaeologist Friend perving over enjoying looking at a bust of Socrates.
The picture is called ERMEHGERD SERCRATES.

Tudor Friend has helpfully provided today's festive video. It is pleasantly rich, we believe, in Eastern mystery and rampant festivity, although perhaps a little lacking in Greek nudity.

Festive video - Anonymous, Awesome Violin performance in Toilet

Related Reading
Previous posts from Athens:
Beware of Greeks Bearing Gifts, But Totally Trust the Toilet Attendant
Unbridled Stoicism - the Ancient Agora Museum
Greek nudity in Copenhagen:
Hanging Out with Hygeia at Glyptoteket
Perving on the Classics in general:
Arachne-Philia and German-induced Euphoria
More strigil action: Privy Counsel Pin-Up - James Purefoy
More nudity, courtesy of German Friend: The Spirit of Christmas - Urinals, Mixer Taps, Relief

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