Wednesday, 14 January 2015

The Screaming Bloody Horror That Is Unisex Toilets, When Done Wrong

As we may have mentioned once or twice before, we at the Privy Counsel believe in the spiritual benefits of a good hangover. A hangover is an opportunity to reflect on your life, and - if you can remember them - the toilets in the bar where you drank your way to your current condition.

We had occasion to observe, the other night, that we are REALLY FUCKING FED UP WITH UNISEX TOILETS. On us pausing in our exuberant beer consumption to go off on a rant about the merits of toilet segregation, our crony of the evening smiled and said, "Honey, have you noticed your surroundings?"
Apparently we were in a gay bar. So fucking what? We are not blessed, at the Counsel, with a sensitive gaydar, being much more attuned to the finer points of bathroom fixtures than sexual orientation. However, we maintain our stance that toilets should be bloody well gender segregated, for everyone's comfort and hygiene. Segregation doesn't have to be based on biological gender. We don't care what a lady is packing under her dress - if she identifies as a woman, then we want to be sharing a toilet with her, and not with fifteen hipster dudes in beards and denim shirts, smiling awkwardly. We do not want to be burdened with bearded hipster dudes when going to the bog. We cannot stress this point enough.

We were too traumatised to photograph the offending unisex toilets, though we seem to remember them sporting some seriously festive graffiti. Instead, we will show you pictures of a really nice bog we came across a little while ago, at Kafé Charlotte in Åkarp. There were two separate toilets, and neither contained awkward hipster dudes, bearded or otherwise. We would also like to point out that the café staff were really, really lovely.

Here's a feast for the eyes: a superbly, wonderfully, joyously clean toilet, with a mixer tap

We love black tiles. Fucking love them. A young person of our acquaintance asked us recently what our favourite colour is. Not wanting to traumatise the child with our hopeless cynicism and misanthropy, we replied, "Errr... Red". The girl eyed us critically and said, "You sure wear a lot of black for someone who professes to like red". 

This, darlings, is a beautiful sink with a beautiful mixer tap, and a wonderful, empty bin.


Even the door handle and lock are stylish!

We're going to break here to make a trough of coffee, but we have a real treat in terms of festive videos! BECAUSE HELLZ YEAH.

Festive video: This Girl Can

Related Reading
A previous rant on the subject of unisex toilets: Hungover Ranting: Festschrift to Medievalist (With a Side-Interest in Roman Archaeology) Friend
A significant hangover in our life: A Life-Affirming Experience
More black tiles: Christmas, the Acropolis Museum, and an Academic Debate (And Some Very Festive Calypso Music)
A post on the perils of sharing a toilet with certain males: (Don't) Aim for the Stars

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