Friday, 3 June 2016

Kicking the Ass of Ignorance

The popularity of Jane Eyre is spreading faster than the clap in a Renaissance coastal town. A friend of ours (who shall remain mercifully anonymous) turned out to have never read this respected work of literature, "because she doesn't like Jane Austen".
You see, readers, what truly hellish depths of ignorance we do battle with here at the Privy Counsel? Nevertheless, it seems said friend was inspired by our Toilet Tale version of Jane Eyre - indeed, how could she not be? - and went to the book shop to rectify the grave deficiencies of her education. We received the picture below yesterday, reassuring us that ignorance and illiteracy are soon to be hurled back into the sulphurous darkness from which they came. Begone!

Mmmm, Bailey's!

In another instance of heartwarming human decency, two strangers offered to help a friend of ours with her fucked suitcase the other day. She had made an 8-hour train journey with a broken and very much overflowing suitcase and was not enjoying the sensation of having her private possessions leaking into the ether. We were on our way to the station to assist with duct tape and spare bags, when the two would-be Samaritans offered our friend their services. Hurrah for kind strangers!

Let's do a rough about-turn, and move on to Audiologist Friend's fantastic photos from Denmark! This audiogram obsessive wrote (as usual, an English translation follows for the linguistically challenged, but do take the opportunity of enjoying this fine example of early-21st centuy colloquial Swedish) as follows:

Var ju i Danmark igår och såg till att skaffa bevis till dig.
Nån bar som låg nära Istedgade, vi ville vila lite från Distorsionfestivalen och satt där och drack happy hour-drinkar! Extra festligt var det ju när dambadrummet levererade :) frågade Paul om det fanns liknande målningar på herrtoan men icke!
(So I was in Denmark yesterday, and made sure I got you proof.  
Some bar near Istedgade, we wanted to get a rest from the Distortion festival, so we sat there drinking happy hour drinks! It was extra festive when it turned out the ladies' room delivered! :) Asked Paul if there were similar paintings in the gents' loo but alas!)

What a bunch of cunts!
Strike us pink with a selection of recycled hand towels if this isn't the most laudable toilet illustration we have ever seen!

A somewhat primitive but clean-looking sink, with soap, paper towels and a mirror. Huzzah!

Plenty of bog roll!!!
It is student graduation day round our way today. This is possibly the most festive day of the year! As if to prove the point, a lorryful of teenagers playing The Final Countdown on full blast, and tooting little horns, just went past Privy Counsel HQ. We are seized by an urge to go out and join the festivities! But first, a Festive Video.

The most festive day of the year!
Image from

When one is beleaguered by a heatwave of Biblical proportions which for some reason started weeks ago and is showing no sign of abating, and which is (presumably, though we can't remember the last time we actually spoke to a farmer) doing great damage to potatoes and other useful crops, one prepares to kick ass wearing shades.

Festive Video - Fry and Laurie, There Ain't the One Way (Kickin' Ass)

(If the video above is looking a bit funny, here is a link.)

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...