Sunday, 17 December 2017

Aloha! from Hawaii!

You might say that our specialities at the Privy Counsel include, in no particular order, intellectual rigour, appreciation of mixer taps, and drinking each other under the table. Drinking together is undeniably difficult when you are spread out all over the world, but on the other hand, there is always someone, somewhere, who is awake when you urgently need to rant about the patriarchy and discuss the best methods of making mulled wine in the microwave.

We always aim to highlight and applaud the intelligence of our Friends and contributors at the Privy Counsel, but imagine our surprise when it turned out that Jonny hadn't realised that half the point of being a Counsel member is having drinking companions in different time zones. Still, we believe that that toothsome young stripling, under the wise tutelage of Shewee Fiend Friend and Tudor Friend, has now seen the light. As Tudor Friend so astutely remarked, "You guys are onto something really profound and brilliant. It's 3 a.m., I'm gonna go pour an amaretto."

We would like to illustrate the truly international nature of this intellectual bog blog by showing you Shewee Fiend Friend's toilet photos from Hawaii, where she attended a conference!
The house I'm staying in is 100 years old and has mostly original plumbing fixtures in the bathrooms

Im sitting in the worst paper
So boring
So that gives me time to send you toilet pictures!
[Friend]'s 100 year old house. Super old for Hawai'i
My bedroom:
Oh I didn't take a picture of that

It had an old school water basin and pitcher
That was cool
The bathrooms all had old fixtures

I love the waste tap
The other bathroom was cooler

I love the old pipes. They're totally green
Anyway, not super special but mildly interesting
I also passed a bathroom on a random corner

Looks charming from the outside

This is the entryway
Where you start to get suspicious
Rightly so

Don't look too close
I think that toilet seat is the first one ever made
It was surprisingly clean despite being ancient and disgusting
But I liked the chained toilet paper

[pause, while Privy Counsellor rants about something trivial, self-induced and preventable]

So Japanese restaurant

Look at all that stuff

I used the mouth wash

What I didn't use was this

Space age toilet that will wash and dry my front or rear
Also accessible

This is of course, as regular readers are only too aware, not the first time that Shewee Fiend Friend has waxed lyrical on the subject of Japanese- and space toilets.

And self cleaning
It lit up inside for the self cleaning which began when I entered the room and after I flushed
I took pictures and showed the person I was with. He was slightly less excited than me but still excited

His bathroom also had lots of fun things but no bidet and no pads
He dared me to use the bidet
But I've never used one before and with my lack of coordination, at a restaurant is not the right place to try

[toilet discussion ends, to be replaced with 1) discussion about a Latin translation, and 2) rants about the patriarchy]

In case you're getting stressed about Christmas, here is a bonus picture of what we assume is a Hawaiian sunset, since we find it unlikely that Shewee Fiend Friend would be up in time to be gawking at the sunrise.

 Are you going about huffing and feeling that "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' on his lips should be boiled with his own pudding and buried with a stake of holly through his heart"? In that case, you should definitely avoid our Facebook page, where we are encouraging yuletide cheer by doing a photo series called the 12 Days of Jonny. Here is a picture from that - though we say it ourselves - really rather spiffing Babe Parade!

Jonny with a bacon butty. In a toilet. Ding-dong!
The St Lucy celebration is done and dusted in Scandiwegia, and went well this year, too, thanks to all the women doing unpaid work getting all the stuff ready on time. Christmas, as everyone knows, is another occasion when women perform countless feats of emotional and physical labour, entirely without pay and often without receiving the smallest token of gratitude. Today's Festive Video is for all the women out there doing endless, thankless, unpaid labour.

Festive Video: Brandy Clark, Three Kids, No Husband

Related Reading

All posts featuring Jonny
All posts featuring Shewee Fiend Friend
All posts featuring Tudor Friend 
Shewee Fiend Friend's previous foray into Japanese and space toilets: To Boldly Go, Etc
All posts featuring Christmas

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