Sunday, 13 December 2015

To Boldly Go, etc

Greetings, Earthlings! We've got some exciting space toilets with which to delight and edify you today, and also some festive Japanese toilet controls. Let us warn you, however, that our current hangover renders our usual vim, zest, and brio somewhat weak and enfeebled. We will do our utmost to bewitch and dazzle you with our rumbunctious writing, but be prepared for some lacklustre prose. You have been warned.

Let us without further ado hand over the controls to Shewee Fiend Friend. That superbly intellectual Alfred-fancier and Shewee enthusiast writes:

So my friend just got back from Japan. He took pictures of remote controls of toilets there.
So apparently, there's a bidet for girls and a separate unisex one for #2.
And other features that they couldn't figure out because the pictograms were not always clear or present at all.
This could lead to receiving an unexpected jetspray in a sensitive area, or intending to flush, and instead having water spray out of the toilet up onto your face. 
I also went to the cosmonauts exhibition in the Science Museum yesterday.
As soon as David gets home I'll get you those pics, which I used his phone for because his camera is soooo much better.

(Read more about David, and his views on public urination, here.)

A control panel of some kind

Another type of control panel

Now we move into the murky world of epistolary action. Behold, an email conversation between us and Shewee Fiend Friend about space toilets!

Shewee Fiend Friend: 
Best part of the exhibition. Well. Early spacecraft were cool too. Also here are some informative videos. I love space as much as you love toilets. 
Privy Counsellor:
Our internet isn't working very well, but is that the astronaut showing you how to wash your hands, vomit, and go to the toilet in space? Because we've totally been there!
Shewee Fiend Friend:
That's right! He's the coolest. The girl is giving instructions on how to operate the actual toilet. She had pretty good hair. Think how awesome your hair would be in space. I wish I had become an astronaut. My biggest regret in life.

At this point we would like to warn sensitive readers that, due to a technical issue which our IT support staff were unable to solve, THE FOLLOWING PICTURES ARE UPSIDE DOWN. If you are drunk, hungover, or suffer from tertiary syphilis with attendant nerve damage, be very careful. If you feel at all dizzy, drink a glass of whisky IMMEDIATELY. (We have many doctors on the Privy Counsel, and are reasonably sure that this is accurate medical advice.)




Let us for the sake of all that is sane and normal have a festive video. We went to see this band last night, at a place called Rock'n'rollklubben (we also have pictures from this excellent establishment - let us revisit them sometime soon, when we are not hungover!), and had a stonking good time. (The best part was possibly when a dude got up on the stage and accompanied the band with a home-made instrument consisting of a fire extinguisher and a meat cleaver, although the part where the same dude handed out brownies and shots of whisky wasn't bad, either.)

"If you can't be good, be careful" is our favourite piece of advice ever!

(Although apparently you don't actually have to worry that much about herpes, though we still find it an unsettling concept.)

Festive video - The Don Darlings, If You Can't Be Good

Related Reading

Our previous posts on the topic of space toilets:
Space Waste
Space Waste, Part II

All posts featuring Shewee Fiend Friend
All posts featuring sideways, upside-down, or otherwise fucked-up pictures
All posts featuring Japan
All posts featuring our doctors
All posts featuring epistolary action

1 comment:

  1. Please be aware that we don't publish spam comments. Don't waste your time - use the time you would have spent writing gibberish in this comments field to drink tea, adopt a dog from a shelter, or call your grandmother.
    Genuine comments are always welcome.


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